By No O-face - 18/01/2011 03:19 - United States

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 726
You deserved it 6 416

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Since when was fingering called a hand job?

Just say you love him and want to support him in every way, so if he's not a fan of other people's bodily fluids, you won't be either.

Comments

I like wet bodily fluids. Just not guy fluids

Why would you like guy bodily fluids?

take some initiative and use your own damn hands op. guys don't think with their heads we use our penises.

38 - Even then.. we still use our heads. ;) gigigdy

OP is a girl

95; You can't give a girl a handjob.

#21 - guy fluids, yum.

113, OP is definitely a girl. Ever wondered why there are gender symbols next to the username? I assume she is calling the female equivalent a hand job even though it's not actually called that.

He's a genius.

I love the colour of your hair :)

I was thinking the same thing... your hair looks really good lol

yeah your hair reminds me of hayley Williams from paramore. :) super adorable!

are you gay?

didn't see the female sign on the FML did u?!

But then again, 13, how does one give a female a handjob? Unless I'm so out of touch that people have changed the terminology once again.

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'But then again, 13, how does one give a female a handjob?' Oh come on, are you serious? You give a guy a handjob by touching his penis with your hands. You give a girl a handjob by touching her vagina and clitoris with your hands. Tadaah. Common sense solved the problem! Again! OP, I feel sorry for you. I would say to don't touch his penis, but that's difficult when you love your partner, and it won't solve a thing. Have a serious talk instead. Tell him that it is supposed to be awfully wet down there and that a decent partner is not afraid of the other one her/his bodily fluids and that your self-esteem will become very low if he doesn't want to do it. I am not a fan of forcing people, but things like this can get very frustrating and relationship-destroying.

67, it's not called a handjob for a girl... it seems like you deliberately misunderstood 13 haha she didn't need a sex lesson, she was just questioning the wording. not that hard to figure out..

Pff, questioning the wording...if you understand it, why questioning it? Not everybody uses the same wording. I use to say 'fingering', or 'hand job' and even 'manual job'. I really don't see the point of questioning the wording - something that 40% of the people is doing here - if it is obvious what she meant.

Manual job? I had one of those once. Then they started translating the manuals from Chinese. After that, I had to get a menial job instead, masturbating some meanie.

maybe because he ate something wrong or was sick

wrong fml buddy

^that's the joke, smartass

I seriously wonder how people manage to pull this stuff off... lol.

Since when was fingering called a hand job?

I was thinking that too... it doesn't really make sense

they could be gay?

No, it's a girl, she's clearly just retarded.

Possibly she's a hermaphrodite with pussy leakage.

#5 your pic is a pure win

seriously lol

oh..you must be gay then?...

How do you read a picture genius.

second time I've said this some bigots who are against gay relationships would actually try to sue, besides that symbol just means intimacy on this site.....

the symbol on the tor right....idiots

she could be saying he's gay because he doesn't like pussy

isn't that basically what gay is?

#62... Lolwut?

62, I assume you're referring to the symbol that means intimacy, the category of this FML. Because the one showing the OP's gender is a female symbol. And how could you possibly sue FML for merely showing the gay symbol? It would appear to me that if you wanted to sue someone for showing something that is neutral towards or promoting homosexuality you might go for a gay rights group's website or a gay porn site.

Wow what a pussy...and yes I was talking about your boyfriend, not your awfully wet vag.

what a pussy! and yes, I'm talking about your awfully wet vag.

lol that's hilarious

It's been a year and a half and he FINALLY told you this? How old is he?

Exactly, is this the first time he's denied you, just don't do anything that involves his fluids, he may change his mind.

Why the hell is it so wet? Guess he never needs to go to Canada, since it's like Niagra fricken Falls down there.

Hmm.... guess your girlfriend is incredible unsatisfied?

I would recommend refusing to give him handjobs or oral sex.

that'll teach him.