Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend once again asked me if I could “not get so wet down there” when we have sex, because it “feels funny”. Ummm, even if I could control it, I never knew it was a problem. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
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Top comments
ryanst 7
Since when was fingering called a hand job?
Doortje 30
Just say you love him and want to support him in every way, so if he's not a fan of other people's bodily fluids, you won't be either.
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Comments (120)
zaadam2 5
If the OP is a girl, then she used some awfully weird words to describe "fingering". I had to read this FML several times to make sure I indeed undertand what I read haha. However, I don't know of ANY girls that refer to fingering as getting a hand job. Leads me to believe that the OP is a guy... In which case, I'm scarred for the rest of my life. Now I need to get laid so I can take my mind off of this :P.