By snortingspunk - 03/12/2015 12:52 - South Africa

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
You are now a certified FML member
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You were outside of France when you submitted this FML
You've commented on an FML that you sent in
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You submitted an FML, that was subsequently published, and statistically this makes you an exceptional person.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.
There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
You seem to be glued to FML. Shall we set a tent up for you to sleep in?
You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
You looked for gold on FML. What more do you want, money?
By snortingspunk - 03/12/2015 12:52 - South Africa
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Mississauga
By AylaMarie92 - 21/07/2014 21:04 - Canada - Hopkins Landing
By baddad - 23/09/2013 04:44 - United States
By lerouxmaster - 22/12/2010 11:43
OP here. I definitely threw away the toothbrush after this, and brushed my teeth with a brand new, mouse-free toothbrush for about 2 hours straight, and listerine listerine listerine o.o I keep my old toothbrushes around for such occasions when there's a hard to reach, disgusting mess to deal with such as this one XD Thanks for all your comments, I've had my tetanus shot lmao, still going to get checked out by a doctor ASAP