Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend once again asked me if I could “not get so wet down there” when we have sex, because it “feels funny”. Ummm, even if I could control it, I never knew it was a problem. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ryanst 7
Since when was fingering called a hand job?
Doortje 30
Just say you love him and want to support him in every way, so if he's not a fan of other people's bodily fluids, you won't be either.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
RinnieRiot 9
What made you so "awfully wet"?
enoughgrace 4
that's a good question... it obviously wasn't him!
whippymcdumb4zs 0
Get out the bilge pumps and bail some of the liquids overboard.
BentleyGt09_fml 0
She is a girl Therefore she is not homosexual in any way like having filthy but sex with other guys of she was a guy
therealsuperman 0
are you saying lesbians enjoy anal with guys? I'm confused
knibbsy 4
Some guys do, including me. A faulty sphincter is to blame; the sphincter will randomly dilate, causing rectal material to leak in a pair of underwear. Sometimes the waste material is solid, but other times it can be quite watery, thus creating a wet area down there.
Kittehx3 0
it's a job that involves a hand o:
RedPillSucks 33
Like knitting or carpentering?
riggens7522 0
Maybe he thinks you have a STD?
jwest850 0
he's obviously a homosexual. move on.
cowboyy_fml 0
people are stupid these days I swear
Amosatron 0
47, thanks for sharing?
tag1061 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
one and a half years? plural? of over a year and a half. it would have to be atleast two years to be plural. unless of course you were talking about two different time segments, each being a year and a half...
FuckMyEveryth1ng 0
If you're going to attempt to correct such an insignificant grammatical error, at least be right.
LeoCor 19
One and a half years are grammatically correct because all you need is to be over 1... not 2 or over