Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend once again asked me if I could “not get so wet down there” when we have sex, because it “feels funny”. Ummm, even if I could control it, I never knew it was a problem. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ryanst 7
Since when was fingering called a hand job?
Doortje 30
Just say you love him and want to support him in every way, so if he's not a fan of other people's bodily fluids, you won't be either.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
perdix 31
Are you dating Gen. Jack D. Ripper from "Dr. Strangelove?"
thumper_tigr 0
Is he gay? what guy doesn't want to touch a girl's vajayjay? Besides, why is the subject just now coming up after a year and a half, how are you guys??
thumper_tigr 0
and I meant to say, how old are you guys....
EvilDave 13
YDI for dating a whiny, squeamish, metrosexual. Personally, I have no problem either as long it is a woman I find attractive.
RedPillSucks 33
OP, does your boyfriend realise that he doesn't actually have to put his hand inside your ****** to stimulate the ******** (do girls have hoodies?) . Just send him down there with some toweletts or something.
RedPillSucks 33
Next time you're giving him a hand job, aim it at his face so he can understand what his bodily fluids are like.
qjdb 8
Nice cross-reference :-)
MissFukMyLuck 0
I bet ya I could roll one better 27
DaveTheBrave20 0
your boyfriend is a pussy
areanii 0
Are you a boy or a girl? If Boy: That's your fault for being gay. Your girlfriend probably wouldn't mind doing that as much. If Girl: That sucks balls. You need a new boyfriend. And Honey? It's called fingering, not a hand job.
knibbsy 4
79, donkey never specified a location. A "wet area" is a wet area; donkey didn't have anything in his post to imply where the spot might be. His post is incorrect actually, since there are many wet spots on guys that come from bodily fluids, including underarms, foreheads, butts, and scrotums. I don't care what he may have "meant"; when he wasn't specific in his post, that leaves many doors open.
knibbsy 4
Also 79, I sometimes do have a wet area up front due to bodily fluids - it's called a sweaty scrotum.