Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I asked him if he was going to fuck my brains out and make me his dumb little cock sleeve. He said, "That's kind of degrading, isn't it?" Instant mood kill. Never date a man who can't talk dirty. FML
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
LizetteBerenice 22
Asshole
Wizardo 33
The double standards in this post blows, seriously get a load of this dick...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (210)
LizetteBerenice 22
Asshole
x_the_lancer_x 13
Crap accidentally downvoted your comment, my iPad slipped ._. Sorry. Felt the need to say this, not exactly sure why. :/
Pat_Tricksta 13
Double standard much?
TunaFireStarter 16
Maybe ask him to do it with a barrier? Saran Wrap and some lube works. Hopefully he will get used to it and then start doing it without the barrier. Also try it in the shower. My boyfriend was hesitant until we did it in the shower, then he started doing it regularly.
saba_ajira 29
No offense but that sounds a but weirder. I don't have a problem doing it straight, but ceran wrap over it just seems weird
Lil_Red777 21
Why would anyone allow saran wrap on their ******. I would rather they just not go down on me at that point.
tayymeds 23
That's when you just the same thing back... or insult his manhood.
incoherentrmblr 21
If I don't go down on her, I don't expect her to go down on me. Fair game...
kingdomgirl94 29
For everyone who thinks that plastic wrap is weird please google dental dam. Same concept.
kuzzy00 22
That's why they invented 69 !! Personally, I don't like going down on a girl. Especially if they get very wet. They just don't taste good. In total, there's only been 3 girls I liked going down on because they are always clean and don't get soaking wet just by simple touching. My fiancé I seldom go down on, but fortunately she tastes good and showers 3x a day lol. She doesn't like giving a ******* (even though she's good at it) so we go into a 69 position and it always works out.
charcharthunder 18
give him a taste of his own medicine!
Queenie2014 11
You do realize the point of going down on a girl is to get her very wet. If a girl doesn't get wet when you go down on her that means you're probably not doing it right
TheAbstract 15
I mean, how could he not want to?
zarosian 17
Cool story bro
trtnt25 19
#121 I can't thumb up enough
Randyrhoads1994 11
To be fair, there are certain scenarios where this is fine. For example, I am trimmed/shaved and my GF is not. Going down on her fills my mouth with hair. If I was not groomed I would not expect a BJ. But she understands that I don't go down on her because of the hair issue.
MrsDruidess 23
of its the taste thing, try doing right out of a pool, there's little to no taste after a swim. But really that's a deal breaker for me, he's got to be willing to do me if I am doing him. And he better pretend he loves it!
TheNewGuy03 28
I would only not go down on a girl if she: 1) smells strongly; 2) is on her period; 3) has an infection (which would also cause me to not bang her). Any other time, I dive in, and happily!
kder0aeon 9
It's another form of having safe sex. Don't they teach this stuff at schools???
bravesgirl55 11
Real men will do it! And if he refuses, I wouldn't go near him sexually!
Louve55555_fml 5
Yep, simple answer : 'No, that's disgusting' too. What an ass.
okay17 7
@188, going down on her should not fill your mouth with hair, even if she isn't shaved. The part you're licking does not have hair on it. Spread the pussy open, and then it shouldn't be a problem.
Wizardo 33
The double standards in this post blows, seriously get a load of this dick...
more4me 27
bahahaha !! xD. #3 you win FML today !
Jared900DUmpling 30
That was a surprisingly good pun, considering all the stupidity that penis related puns usually end up as.
Tupelo_Honey 30
Hope you told him he can't receive if he's not willing to give!
samuelbeathard 15
Talk about a hypocrite.
zandalee 19
Perhaps if the female body disgusts him, OP should give this some serious thought.
cheeeksss 29
My ex-boyfriend was just like this. So happy I left him, and found my current boyfriend who reciprocates.
emeraldisle 30
Reply the same way he did. You gotta give to receive.
alexfai3619 8
The double standards are strong with this one.
cdalton 12
You got to give if you want to receive. Im sorry op. He's missing out.
joeyl2008 29
Then you should oblige him! and forget you're not suppose to use teeth...
Not_Impressed13 9
Depends on my mood, but sometimes a little teeth is good! ;)
Not_Impressed13 9
I think it has something to do with the level of trust, too. :-P
llamaslikesoda 21
#92, I was a bit confused too. #114, That's probably what everybody's conscious about :P
WCARlover 34
Hopefully he likes his hand
tfriend3 15
The fact that he asked you to give him oral in the same moment is facepalm worthy. FYL but take this opportunity to teach him a lesson.