health

mandy16 - 04/09/2010 03:43

Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML

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insomniac - 03/09/2010 23:02

Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML

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Sickie. - 02/09/2010 16:03 - United States

Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML

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Double down

coyote - 02/09/2010 07:25 - Japan

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

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jodulieu - 02/09/2010 02:31 - France

Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML

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Anonymous - 01/09/2010 14:41 - Germany

Today, after almost a week of being bed-ridden with a bad flu, my mom told me it was my job to clean the house. When I told her I still had a fever and didn't feel well, she looked at me and said in an understanding voice "It's okay honey, you can do it slowly." FML

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blinkanimgone - 01/09/2010 11:08 - Australia

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

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WIno - 01/09/2010 02:46 - United States

Today, I have discovered things not to do while drunk. Like shaving my legs. FML

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Sally19863 - 30/08/2010 16:18 - South Africa

Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML

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yggiz - 29/08/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

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Firepants - 28/08/2010 16:04 - Canada

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

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earths_venus - 26/08/2010 12:49 - Australia

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs while delivering a pizza, and severely sprained my ankle. The guy looked at me lying there, and shut the door in my face. I then got told to "Suck it up, Princess" by my manager. FML

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Earths_Venus

Earths_Venus 25

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:25

Yeah I just got back from Emergency and I'll be off my feet for 2 days. My manager is a funny bastard, he heard me say that to someone else a few days before and decided to use it on me. He did end up helping me to my car and getting me an ice pack. No, I didn't get a tip from that asshole.

Eyebrowsgone - 25/08/2010 13:10 - United States

Today, I decided to wax my own eyebrows with a Do It Yourself kit from the pharmacy. I'm now missing half of my right eyebrow. FML

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