Health: Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother...

By ouch - 03/01/2011 00:36 - United States

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 632

You deserved it 2 989

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Same thing different taste

By finalfantasy - 21/06/2018 17:30 - United States - Aurora

Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 853

You deserved it 267

By argfarblewarblearble - 07/08/2015 13:49 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 897

You deserved it 2 331

By ow - 17/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 251

You deserved it 69 794

By Ep1cF4ce - 26/07/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 098

You deserved it 3 422

Revenge

By Natasha - 20/02/2021 21:30

Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 119

By luckycharmed - 17/06/2014 17:34 - United States

Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 766

You deserved it 4 391

By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 04:01 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 322

You deserved it 2 587

Cool nickname

By nearsighted-ut - 26/09/2019 02:00

Today, I was watching TV when my older brother thought it would be funny to rip a bare-assed fart in my face before a shower. I looked up, only to see a brown blob on my glasses. My nickname is now "Shitfaced." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 937

You deserved it 126

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 438

You deserved it 28 105

By girl on fire - 03/09/2015 00:32

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 419

You deserved it 2 723

EvenHopeHides 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:35

you should take clear packaging tape on his pubes, then rip it off

tygerarmy 35

Monday 3 January 2011 9:23

Besides the initial pain are you ok? Just get your brother back. He's gotta sleep sometime.

Comments

Liv94 2

Monday 3 January 2011 9:05

ouch

MRiKiCCS 0

Monday 3 January 2011 11:06

holy **** . douche bag bro you got their op.

BoColors 0

Monday 3 January 2011 11:54

no doubt. but it made me laugh

heyheywaddup 7

Monday 3 January 2011 13:09

yupp

Marcella1016 31

Tuesday 11 October 2011 9:16

I agree 22 That sounds so painful!

SHORTstopp99 5

Monday 3 January 2011 9:09

chapstick?

IStoleTheCookies 16

Saturday 9 April 2011 3:44

lip balm

takeapieandrun 9

Monday 3 January 2011 9:10

Your brother thought right!

bman134 0

Monday 3 January 2011 11:42

agreed

nightDREAMERms 6

Monday 3 January 2011 9:17

Hm. I have chapped lips right now too. Yes, that's relevant.

funkmasternikkin 0

Monday 3 January 2011 18:49

TaTaTanyaHo 5

Monday 3 January 2011 22:10

OhShuttup 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 2:36

Hello!

Mehness 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 17:12

你好 :)

Saltime 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 4:28

H?la!

rohanmo 9

Thursday 15 December 2011 16:12

ni hao

jason2468 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:19

get a new bro

AZMarine 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:22

As they say: you can pick your friends, you caneven pick your nose. But you can't pick your family... but what about adoption?...

unidentified_sta 5

Monday 3 January 2011 9:27

You can pick Child Protection Services on the other hand. Make the right call! Smash your family unit with a phone call!

tygerarmy 35

Monday 3 January 2011 9:23

Besides the initial pain are you ok? Just get your brother back. He's gotta sleep sometime.

Shiningstartp 9

Monday 3 January 2011 9:28

OMG. This literally made me cringe. OUCH!!!

Pocahontas22_fml 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:58

me too!! ouchh..

JuuuusssstFML 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:31

that ******* sucks

Bubblerider 3

Monday 3 January 2011 10:37

AAGH!!!! JERSEY SHORE!!!! GO AWAY!!!!! D:

nerfherder24 0

Monday 3 January 2011 13:33

snooki want smoosh smoosh!

sylphy 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 11:43

SNOO SNOO?-- WAIT SNOOKIE? OH GOD NEVERMIND. KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!

EvenHopeHides 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:35

you should take clear packaging tape on his pubes, then rip it off

ilaveyou 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:44

lmao..

DoctorKyda 5

Wednesday 5 October 2011 6:50

Yes, because every sister wants to get so close to her brother's nuts as to tape down there. >_

mrfuzzywiggles 11

Thursday 12 July 2012 16:26

Screw clear packaging tape, use duct tape.

ChadHelton 8

Monday 9 November 2015 6:03

gorilla tape on eyebrows, just leave it for him to pull off. he'll be lucky to keep his forehead.

IowAuburn_fan77 4

Monday 3 January 2011 9:53

hahhahahhahahah sounds like something I would do to my brother.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 297

You deserved it 1 134

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 668

You deserved it 39 751

The Top

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 323

You deserved it 9 621

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 513

You deserved it 11 371

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 542

You deserved it 13 748

Today, I was fired because of a "poorly executed" task. My boss claims that I just copypasted an existing document in a new file; I was instructed exactly to take the document and move its content to a new table without changing anything. It was discussed beforehand, but looks like his own messages are not a proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 86

Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with, "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 046

You deserved it 6 088

Today, after thinking only dogs needed chew-toys, I learned my lesson after my kittens ate my menstrual cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 364

Same thing different taste

Revenge

Cool nickname

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