Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse

Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort!

By SnurklesMcGee - 12/02/2016 22:08 - Canada

Today, I learned I don't have to spend Valentine's Day alone. My parents invited me along on their date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 603

You deserved it 2 014

By Anonymous - 09/02/2016 11:28 - United States - Lansing

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a romantic dinner, since we can't see each other this Valentine's Day. Halfway through, my aunt called, telling me my grandma had died. I had to leave because I was crying so much, leaving my girlfriend with a very pricey bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 011

You deserved it 4 466

By no love - 01/01/2016 22:41 - United States

Today, I celebrated my 4-year anniversary with my girlfriend. We didn't have sex and we didn't even kiss. All I got to do was cuddle the stuffed Minion she got me for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 406

You deserved it 3 346

By Headless - 29/05/2015 13:04 - Denmark - Lyngby

Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 718

You deserved it 9 020

By oh well - 10/03/2015 13:27 - United States

Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 827

You deserved it 8 444

By Rubyscooby212 - 15/02/2015 04:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 352

You deserved it 3 745

By cyprianista - 13/02/2015 16:13 - United States - Houston

Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 221

You deserved it 4 437

By Yupppp. - 11/02/2015 06:25 - United States - Flushing

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 379

You deserved it 5 302

By Anonymous - 09/02/2014 19:00 - United States - Lowell

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 689

You deserved it 5 437

He's a keeper

By mariana - 08/02/2014 00:18 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 705

You deserved it 10 352

By CUNTCUNTCUNT - 29/01/2014 21:28 - Australia - Slacks Creek

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 559

You deserved it 7 379

By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 05:14 - United States - Stockbridge

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 774

You deserved it 13 730

By romance sucks. - 18/12/2013 21:20 - United States - Spencer

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 691

You deserved it 3 967

By girlymae - 27/02/2013 07:59 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 465

You deserved it 24 046

It's something

By RosesAreRed - 15/02/2013 06:07 - United States - Cape Girardeau

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 246

You deserved it 4 452

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 20:23 - Germany

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 929

You deserved it 3 833

By Doggotmytongue - 12/02/2013 21:50 - United States - Peoria

Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 384

You deserved it 6 759

By katelynm - 08/02/2013 06:24 - United States

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 962

You deserved it 9 006

By helpme - 15/01/2013 07:23 - United States - Irvine

Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 443

You deserved it 4 061

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 00:21 - Canada - Corner Brook

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 601

You deserved it 3 441

By Skyhopee - 24/12/2012 19:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because I'm too "high maintenance" during the holidays. Not to worry, though; he's willing give me another chance sometime after Valentine's day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 036

You deserved it 6 304

By igiveup - 21/12/2012 03:31 - Australia - Sydney

Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 039

You deserved it 3 925

By Anonymous - 26/11/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 457

You deserved it 3 713

Nice try

By forgottenbday - 11/07/2012 05:09 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 661

You deserved it 2 772

By Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:59 - Ireland - Cork

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 709

You deserved it 4 720

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 00:13 - United States - San Mateo

Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the 2 weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 379

You deserved it 6 999

By JTo - 03/03/2012 22:07 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found an email he had written to an ex-fling telling her he was single and wanted to meet up. He wrote that email from my computer, in my apartment, on Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 986

You deserved it 3 829

By Anonymous - 19/02/2012 08:25 - Australia

Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 077

You deserved it 23 707

The gays

By kolgate - 15/02/2012 10:12 - United States

Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 710

You deserved it 3 173

By no tp - 15/02/2012 01:26 - United States

Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 812

You deserved it 8 340

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I met a woman at a bar, and we went back to my place with her whispering many filthy things in my ear. Then my key broke inside the lock. It was 2 a.m. and freezing, and she was in a dress, I suggested a hotel, but she was now so cold and angry, she got back in our Uber which hadn't left yet and went home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 352

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 629

You deserved it 4 242

Today, my dad found out that there are others like him in this world. They're called furries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 209

Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 818

You deserved it 39 559

Today, the ninth grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new, because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 469

You deserved it 3 382

Today, the rain was pouring really hard outside. I found this out when it started raining on me at 4 am inside my dorm room. Thanks college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 366

You deserved it 2 517