Valentine's slay, Living together and Love: Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found an email...

By JTo - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found an email he had written to an ex-fling telling her he was single and wanted to meet up. He wrote that email from my computer, in my apartment, on Valentine's Day. FML

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Love

Mother of the year

Puke is good for you

Night terrors

By Anonymous

Today, after planning 4 months in advance and spending almost $600 to cover everyone's tickets to the event center, all of my siblings decided to bail on my 30th birthday celebration because driving 3 hours is too much. FML

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By superfkd - Canada

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

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By Anonymous - 18/9/2020 20:02

AT&Twat

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his best friend that the only reason he likes to sleep over at my house is for the sex and the fast internet. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

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By Anonymous - 5/10/2020 23:01 - United States

Thanks for the support!

Today, I told my mom that I struggle with depression. She then told me that she thinks that I always seem to suck the life out of a room. FML

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By child abused - United States - New York

Not helping.

Today, my neighbor's pesky 7-year-old daughter, who is friends with the guy I really like, decided to help me with him. She used her phone to send him a picture of me. I was in the shower, completely naked and surprised. FML

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By Mrs. Terrified - United States

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

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By help - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML

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By Lori - United States - Littleton

Today, I agreed to go on a date with this really nice guy. Halfway through the date he starts talking about his wife and kids. FML

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By bobjope

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

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By Michigan - United States

Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Jeromesville

Today, a friend invited me to christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there she told me her and her husband forgot they had another dinner to go to and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I told a customer at the drive-thru I couldn't hear him as he had his music blaring too loud. The customer then drove to the window and verbally abused me for listening to my iPod at work. My "iPod" is the headset we use to take orders at the drive-thru. FML

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By pleasestop - Australia

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

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By fingwhore - United States - Greensboro

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

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By poormom - United States

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

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By queenlatifa101bebe - United States

Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML

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By nature

Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets and lost my job. FML

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By Display - France - Paris

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

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By 6u174r_d00d - United States

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

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By OnlyMe - United States

Today, I realized that I broke up with a man that loved me and was great in bed but was afraid of commitment, to be with a man that loves me, that is great in bed, and wants to be with me forever. So what's the problem? Now that we are committed, he won't get it on with me anymore. FML

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By adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway - Netherlands - Leiden

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

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By abdominates - Canada

Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and ipod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML

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By doubleds - Canada

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Crowley

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

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By CatWoman - United States

Catboys rise up

Today, I hooked up with a guy who has a Facebook page for his cat. FML

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By bras r expensive ppl

Today, I realized I was at a top quality ski resort when, while riding the lift, I counted three bras which appeared to have been thrown into the trees from the lift. My little brother counted eight. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/5/2020 08:00

Overdoing it

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that I had an anxiety attack. FML

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By justpeachy1989 - Australia

Today, I finally tested out my new robot vacuum cleaner. My puppy decided she would test it out too by leaving a brown surprise for it to find, which it did. There are now brown marks in every room of the house. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/5/2020 02:00

Boring FML

Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Richmond

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

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By dirtythief - Philippines - San Juan

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

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By stillhungry - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

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By friendlessatwork - United States - Storrs Mansfield

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

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By Username - United States

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

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By Saduglydad - United States - Houston

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

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By Eheath12Jheath14

Today, my boyfriend and I welcomed our first son into the world. After I gave birth, he said he was going home to make sure the house was ready for baby. A few hours later, he was tagged in a Facebook photo by a mutual friend at the local bar. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

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Top comments

By _fthisshit | 0

#14143 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:39

Aw, poor you. What a jerk!

By BeautyAndBrains | 0

#14147 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:41

Asshole.

COMMENTS

By _fthisshit | 0

#14143 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:39

Aw, poor you. What a jerk!

ampsmagss | 0

#1180902 - Tuesday 3 August 2010 12:12

yea he's mean!!! you can do way better that asshole!!

joanjett | 0

#1295881 - Tuesday 24 August 2010 18:50

Son of a bitch.

By BeautyAndBrains | 0

#14147 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:41

Asshole.

By tweets | 0

#14151 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:46

omg thats horrible, i'd mess with his emails =]

By GameRater01 | 0

#14164 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:54

ah balls, that sucks. At least you found out relatively quickly and were able to cut it off before something terrible happened

By zaadam2 | 5

#14169 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 10:00

Thats fucked up, I'm sorry hun :(
I hope things get better for you!

By jayfx | 0

#14191 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 10:30

damn that sucks! hope you're okay

By OhhSerena | 0

#14202 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 10:59

I had something similar happen to me. I feel ya on this one.

babygrrl338 | 1

#3743632 - Saturday 17 December 2011 5:19

same here

By KingMissile9 | 0

#14208 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 11:11

ouch

By undead_fml | 0

#14212 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 11:18

That kind of idiots give bad name to all men =/

By amelinat | 0

#14213 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 11:22

Your ex is ten types of bastard, you did the right thing getting rid of him.
Even if you feel like shit right now, in the long run its the best thing that could have happened, I'm sure you will look back and agree.
Good Luck with what ever comes next.