By lon01t - 07/05/2012 20:43 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 217
You deserved it 2 619

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Tell her you are a drain monster fighter. Arm yourself with bleach, a plunger and a knife. Tell your daughter to wait outside, go into the bathroom. Make some grunting noises, come out and say the monster is dead. It should work, if not slap the husband and tell him to reassure your daughter.

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My dad scared me with the waste disposal system in the sink. He told me of I stuck my hand in the monsters mouth, he would bite it off. Guess who didn't listen?

I was always told IT would come get me.. -.-

His name is Pennywise. Fun fact.

^^ Stop! Your gonna give me night terrors! O:

MichellinMan 20

no. the dads not lying, the drain monster is this creepy spider that can come up your drain. I know this because I have them. your father tells no lies!

I am afraid of the drain. There's a lit of shit in it.

I was personally afraid of the little gnome men in my front yard.

Mommyof2_91 10

I don't even want to think about the gnome men. *shivers*

xxmckenzierae 5

I was always scared to sit on the toilet at night. Thinking the chuckie doll would come cut me. Lol seriously, my poor childhood.

Don't be scared of the bathtub fairy!

heidelbergmeme 5

#125 what's the bathtub fairy?

129- It's a 40 year old hairy virgin guy with short shorts and fairy wings that molests you when you don't want to take a bath.

Inmature or Troll Dad. You Chose

hawkey126 0

This FML is much funnier when you read 4 as 14.

stevenJB 25

74) wai...what?

ripresno 10

Ya what do you mean 74??

Someone forwarded me a text about a girl that lives in a drain and will kill you if you don't forward it. Scared me shitless

Good luck with her and I wish you the best!????

olpally 32

Your profile pic is the drain monster!!! *runs away*

IAmNotAnAnimal 9

No, it's the troll face.

some trolls can be pretty scary, ruining threads and such D:

olpally 32

32- it's called making a joke, I know it's the troll face... Troll...

IAmNotAnAnimal 9

Yeah it was a shitty attempt to make a witty commment. It didn't work.

46- Yea, neither did yours :/

IAmNotAnAnimal 9

65- My second comment was referring to my first comment.

Drain monster? This happened to me when I was a child. :c Just reassure her the best you can.

Just bring a taser in with you to make sure that nasty monster ain't going to get you and you'll come out smelling like a bed of roses every time.

I think you'd smell more like fried chicken. The electricity from the taser plus the water's ability to conduct said electricity (really well) would more than likely roast you to a fine, golden crisp.

86,I disagree. Burning flesh smells nothing like fried chicken. If it did,I don't think my neighbors would complain as much.

Fannypack7 0

Husbands do dumb things but their worth it! Lol jk jk their a-holes lol

There, they're, and their. There is a difference.

This comment hurts to read.

Welp, he edited his comment. Just going to leave this up here... Don't mind me... *Whistles*

Lol i know I changed it once I realized my amazing amount of fail

Haha good thing I noticed in time. Would have been barraged by an army of angry thumbs.

FMLshark 12

So what about their a-holes? You never finished your statement!

No no no, their a-holes are wide open, ready for you to peg them at any given moment.

I am sorry.... 5- what are you doing outside your kitchen?

petloverlcd 7

FMLShark: Their a-holes laugh out loud...

mollysticks 10

This gave me a headache.

Tell her you are a drain monster fighter. Arm yourself with bleach, a plunger and a knife. Tell your daughter to wait outside, go into the bathroom. Make some grunting noises, come out and say the monster is dead. It should work, if not slap the husband and tell him to reassure your daughter.

What if she wants to see the mutilated monster corpse? She'd have to dig out some kind of hairball or something and make it look all bloody and shit.

^Yes, because every four-year-old thinks that their parent could be lying to them, and therefore wants to see the mangled, bloody corpse of the monster they fear. Is this your logic?

^ Yeah, but then again I've been hit in the head too many times and don't want kids. Then again, I do remember being suspicious as a toddler when I noticed the Easter Bunny had the same handwriting as my father, right down to spelling mistakes.

bubbly31 0

You could read as a toddler?

ss_20_xx 14

Ahh people and their baseless logics.

U are a genius xD

Lol the monster is real!!! No but seriously, that sucks!

Agreed, that monster is seriously scary. I avoid drains when possible.

Wow, your husband is an idiot. Next time let him bathe her so he can deal with her behavior.

He was joking around with the daughter. Most parents do that. Get over yourself.

^Hmmm... Nothing in 8's comment indicates self-absorption, so why say 'get over yourself'? And in reply to the rest ogf your comment, the husband's 'joke' is now creating complications with bathing the daughter. I'm sure if you were the one wrestling your child into the tub because your spouse decided to be 'funny', you would feel the same way as OP.

#70 I wouldn't joke around with my kid like that under any circumstances. Why would anyone intentionally frighten their kid to the point where they're scared to take a bath?

Because its a joke. Jesus you're all going to be awful parents if you can't have fun with your kids.

#128 - I see where you're coming from, but don't you think it's a little over the top if the child is too scared to go for a simple bath? Yes it's fun to "scare" children, but not to that point mentioned in the FML.

128 - You would be not just an awful parent but an awful person if you think scaring the living buhjeebus out of a little girl to the point of struggling against taking a bath is funny.

Buhjeebus? Awesome word of the day.

#128 So I'd be a horrible parent if I didn't scare my kid to death and possibly scar them for a really long time? Well, guess I'll just be a horrible parent then. That kind of joking around just isn't funny to me.-

egc573 40

Poor kid. The only monster I knew about at that age was the Cookie Monster. One can only guess what the "Drain Monster" chants when he's hungry.

*Grunt* *Nomnomnom* "MMM. HAIRBALL." *Grunt*

CaramelMacchiato 13

At that age, I was scared of: Bloody Mary and Samara (the girl from The Ring who lives in a well). I was afraid of mirrors, and wouldn't watch TV after 7:00 P.M. It's nice looking back at all of the things that made you tear and start laughing.

What?! I thought the drain monster wouldn't bother you anymore as soon as you turn 3. My whole life is a lie.

If you're upset about what they told you about the drain monster, then I suggest you mind your ankles when you approach your bed...

CaramelMacchiato 13

And the next time you're walking up a flight of stairs in the middle of the night, start sprinting, because yes; there really is a demon behind you.