Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my daughter locked herself in the bathroom having a tantrum after her boyfriend dumped her. So, out of sheer desperation, I had to sit in the kitchen sink for a pee, which is when my husband walked in with his mother and sister. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Tell her you are a drain monster fighter. Arm yourself with bleach, a plunger and a knife. Tell your daughter to wait outside, go into the bathroom. Make some grunting noises, come out and say the monster is dead. It should work, if not slap the husband and tell him to reassure your daughter.
turtlemanz 8
Lol nomnom
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Comments (159)
jillybean555 5
Aww. She is scarred.
Surge5560 20
I've encountered this type of beast once before.
lukemack 4
Shouldn't call your husband a idiot not nice even if he shouldn't have done that.
thewife5 19
Folks.. We found the husband..
mdavenport6 4
That's GREAT. I'm goIng to use that.
liir 18
One day you'll both look back on this and laugh.
Omnomnomnivore 10
Have a laugh about it, and tell her the "drain monster" doesn't eat little girls. It only drinks water.
Jawzx01 7
Lol!
geeves1097 3
Lol, good luck with that.
poohappens26 0
Shitty parenting on his end. Idiot. Make h explain to her that he's a douche bag and there's no such thing. FYL for marrying him
midnightxloner 1
When my brother was younger and we went camping their were the pitted toilets and we told him if he wasn't fast enough a hose would come up and suck his poop out of him.. Let's just say he ended up constipated for a week