By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 166
You deserved it 2 768

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Call someone to come pick him up. Then you and your husband can get well and clean up the messes he made.


Inheritance 10

No no this means hell for OP and her husband. But bright side you can open up a can of whoop-ass when you get off the pot!

This kind of reminds me of Donnie from The Wild Thornberrys.

I think so. I feel like there might need to be a follow-up FML after this one.

What happened in Paranormal Activity 5 then?! ... Something is going on here....

science_nerd 5

I wouldn't be surprised, by the way they've already put out for of them with the same damn storyline/ scary scene

jackal181 7

I hope to god that they stop making the paranormal activity travesties.

ryry013 6

No no no, this is Paranormal Activity 9, where the demons give the adults food poisoning then possess the kids.

First there needs to be a Paranormal Activity 5

It's like having thing one running rampade through your apartment, atleast thing two isn't there!

You don't know that thing 2 isn't there....

Llama_Face89 33

Rampade? You mean rampant? Or rampage?.

I'd say that food poisoning is a good cause of number 2. and it causes two things lel.

He found the party canon. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!

Party Canon = Kid's name for a gun (IMO) Why am I being thumbed down? Edit: Oh yeah, I forgot that term was used in MLP:FiM.

iOceanus 18

Give up before you get more thumb downs. xD Apparently, people don't like your post.

WearingHats 14

Oh. Thanks. Shit, from the context I knew it was bad, but not THAT bad.

Call someone to come pick him up. Then you and your husband can get well and clean up the messes he made.

This is by far the best approach. Worst case scenario is the boy hurts himself and neither parent is in a position to react quickly or get him care. He could turn on the stove and start a fire or burn himself. Even the mildest scenarios involve having to feed him, attend to his toilet, clean up after him, etc. If you're not up to minding him, call a friend, neighbour, or family member to come look after him until you're on your feet again. Toddlers need supervision and ill people need rest. We all need a little help sometimes.

I know when im ill I literally have no one to look after my two year old so I just have to do the best I can, im lucky I dont get ill very often but its horrible when I do

Darkmagic666 9

Wow I was going to say that OP might not be able to do so because they might just be retching non-stop or something, but then I realized that they had time to post this to FML.

"Hello? I need a--*BLARRRG*--babysitter. When can--*BLARRG*-- you get here?" Seems legit.

If somebody asked me to sit their kid while they took a shit... I would walk away with no reply

JJJJJakkkkeee 6

If you hear a loud crash and then silence, he probably went through a window.

Kids will be kids! Take the time to enjoy it now! Before you know it,that precious stage is gone forever. Sorry you're sick op.

Once the noises and laughter stops...then it's time to worry! Until then...good luck

Yeah he's pretty much right. As long as there isn't screaming or a loud thud and silence. You are good OP. but good poising sucks OP. hope you guys get better.

You may actually be a genuine victim of autocorrect. How does "good poising" suck? I always thought if you had bad equilibrium it was not good. Anyway, I doubt that OP and her husband had a good poise in their state with the food poisoning.

Ah the terrible threes. He is just having a little fun.

*terrible two's. Three year olds are just...trying to adapt, for lack of a better term.

BubbleGrunge 18

Nope-three year olds are actually much more of a challenge than two year olds. Their independence is broadening, therefore it's much like having a 3 ft teenager in the house.

It is most definitely terrible threes. According to my mother, when I was two I was "a little angel".....Then I turned three. She took me to a pizza parlor once and I walked up to another girl clearly older than I and slapped her as hard as my little three year old arm would let me. Why? Because she was at MY candy dispenser.

elletex 8

When I was three, I met Neil Armstrong while at the airport with mother, and when she tried to explain to me that he had walked on the moon, I stared him down and called him a liar to his face. My family has never allowed me to live that down.

Oh how I miss those days, when causing chaos and destruction only brought down the wrath of parents, rather than the wrath of the law... :P