Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since...

By Anonymous - 7/5/2012 23:52 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML

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Miscellaneous

Great boyfriend

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

Live dumping

By pissed - 17/12/2013 21:17 - United States

Today, my husband called me from the store, trying to decide whether or not to buy the new games console he's been wanting. I'd already purchased one and hid it, ready for Christmas Day. I couldn't talk him into not buying himself one. There goes a $500 surprise. FML

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By sproket - 11/4/2011 23:37

Today, the maintenance man 'fixed' a leak in my apartment by flooding the place. FML

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By notyoueallie - 20/8/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

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By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/2/2018 01:30

Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/1/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/7/2009 16:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/11/2011 14:43 - United States

Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/5/2020 17:00

Mind control

Today, after my fiancee gave me $100 to spend at the garden center as my Mother's Day gift, when I was on my way home from the center, he called and yelled at me because I didn't get what he wanted me to get. FML

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By Renna303 - 18/9/2017 20:00

Today, I dropped my 6-month-old $3,500 guitar. Luckily, it had a one year warranty from the store so I drove back. It was shut down. FML

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By Flicker - 14/5/2009 07:23 - Australia

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

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By MysticSoup - 21/4/2019 22:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I asked my doctor out on a date. He had his nurse turn me down. FML

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By bullllllshittttt - 6/3/2011 07:25 - United States

Today, I went to a rave where apparently one of my favorite rappers was supposed to perform. I stood in line for 2 hours in the rain, got pushed and shoved, and had to witness a bunch of drunken idiots puke all over the place. Once I finally got to the front of the line, they closed the doors. FML

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By michelle - 5/2/2010 19:01 - France

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML

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By Sam - 4/5/2014 06:12 - United States - Eureka

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

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By Help Me - 18/1/2015 03:45 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

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By Sara - 25/2/2016 07:39 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, I paid $50 to go to a war museum. It was so boring that I fell asleep standing up, lost my balance and faceplanted the floor right in front of our tour guide. FML

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By Tickettoride - 4/5/2013 10:24 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

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By sportyhusband - 20/1/2010 03:46 - United States

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

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By oopsie - 1/5/2019 20:00

Today, I got diarrhea. During sex. I didn’t even make it out of the bed. FML

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By Evil_Angel_90 - 10/9/2013 11:36 - Australia

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/1/2012 14:07 - Canada

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

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By BrokeandDesperate - 6/12/2011 07:03 - United States

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

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By michellekel - 4/7/2009 12:10 - France

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/8/2011 07:21 - United States

Today, I was hosting a pool party, when my husband and his friends got the bright idea of lighting one of the party balloons on fire. Needless to say, it immediately exploded. In shock, he jumped back straight into me, sending me and my $400 cell phone splashing into the pool. FML

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By Valedict-oops - 9/6/2017 00:00

Today, I walked at my graduation ceremony, proudly wearing my valedictorian cords. It turns out that, after some confusion on behalf of the student services office, I was neither valedictorian nor salutatorian (by 0.2 points). I'm dating the actual valedictorian. FML

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By Helena - 25/9/2018 03:00

Today, I was on my Wheel of Time fanfiction roleplay chatting seductively with my virtual lover while taking a break from doing some work, only to realize that I had accidentally sent the revenue report to my fellow fanfiction lover and used magic to undress my boss. FML

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By Nightmares - 7/8/2012 02:00 - United States

FML Uncensored

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/9/2014 15:03 - United States - Chelan

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

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By HousemateHorror - 20/11/2017 19:00

Today, I walked into my dorm to find the guy I have feelings for sleeping with my roommate. I signed a lease with them for next year and can't back out now. FML

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By eric - 16/3/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

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By help me! - 2/10/2010 14:26 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with had a job interview at my place of work. If she gets the job, she'll be my manager. FML

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By JerseyGirl - 4/9/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, I went out to my car to run some errands. It wouldn't start. I called AAA, only to find out my battery wasn't dead, it was stolen. FML

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By faza4327 - 6/4/2011 07:43 - Australia

Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML

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By Ginger - 3/10/2010 18:34 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me I should finish school early and get a job so we can get married, because then he'll have enough money to buy the truck he's had his eyes on for our whole relationship. FML

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By ieatoreos - 11/3/2011 11:28

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

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By _The__Doctor_ - 31/12/2013 22:44 - United States - Venice

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/7/2012 02:11 - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, I had to very clearly explain to my mother, in public, why you cannot get cancer from eating too much ketchup. FML

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By Fartfail - 18/4/2012 13:43 - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

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By wifelyduties - 17/4/2020 14:00

Do ya think I'm sexy?

Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML

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Top comments

By oathkeeper99 | 31

#4406115 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:09

Could be worse... Could be Bieber stuck in your head

By Abby133 | 14

#4406182 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:23

An idiot eh?

COMMENTS

By jessicaazzzzzzzz | 3

#4406105 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:07

What a terrible life you lead.

808ninjas | 3

#4406118 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:09

If only we all had the blessing of having our biggest "FML" to be about a song stuck in our head :)

By 3rdbass | 9

#4406107 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:08

A Trekkie eh?

gantzlord | 5

#4406125 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:11

No.

omgcookeys | 15

#4406146 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:15

Wars.... Not trek.... Star Wars..

Abby133 | 14

#4406182 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:23

An idiot eh?

FYLDeep | 25

#4406231 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:33

I'm pretty sure that #1 is playing on the animosity that some Trekkies have with Star Wars fans. Maybe one of those Trekkies wouldn't be able to stand having a song from an opposing fandom stuck in his/her head.

CanWeMicrowaveIt | 11

#4406268 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:43

FYLDeep is right. He probably meant that OP is a Trekkie since he doesn't like the starwars cantina song.

Jonkbaby | 19

#4406660 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 11:53

sue them.

nado13579 | 12

#4407078 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 14:16

Star Wars, not Star Trek. -__- Unless OP doesn't like Star Wars which is why she doesn't want to hear it, and is a Star Trek fan instead.

And oh great, it's stuck in my head too now. XD

SuperKnuckels | 6

#4407862 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 18:13

im canadian Eh? but really you can just go and mix up starwars with startrek. thats like going to american saying soccer is better than foot ball or in canada that soccer to hockey. lol.

3rdbass | 9

#4408104 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 19:03

26 & 28 are spot on. Everybody else, I'm sorry you're the kind of people that need to have a joke explained to you. Think before you type.

labanana_fml | 5

#4410315 - Wednesday 9 May 2012 3:50

are you stupid, or just slow ?

By I_Punch_Babies | 7

#4406113 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:08

a star wars fam1ly are we?

shanemaximo | 7

#4406777 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 12:26

*play that same song* Ok! Same song, here we go!

cassiebear7652 | 7

#4407028 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 13:56

You don't say

KeyboardWarrior | 10

#4407098 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 14:23

1 don't see the po1nt of typ1ng th1s way, care to enl1ghten me?

I_Punch_Babies | 7

#4409465 - Wednesday 9 May 2012 1:23

because my i key is broken. duh

Unabletuna | 6

#4489183 - Sunday 27 May 2012 22:33

Wait, your "I" key is broken, but you just typed it? Makes sense. Makes shitloads of sense.

xXCherrryBombXx | 6

#4674992 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 5:34

I think it was a joke....

By oathkeeper99 | 31

#4406115 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:09

Could be worse... Could be Bieber stuck in your head

capper44 | 18

#4406351 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 9:09

Damn cant agree anymore :p haha

jtthegr8 | 26

#4407434 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 16:17

Lol Any song > beiber

j_cat187 | 19

#4407619 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 17:07

And the only way to remove this song requires a lumbotomy of the brain.

DAyBriGHTEneR | 0

#4412518 - Wednesday 9 May 2012 18:39

#firstworldproblems

By Michellec9982 | 18

#4406122 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:10

Try singing another song?

ClassyCommando | 13

#4407508 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 16:40

Imperial March or Duel of the Fates?

DawnShadow_fml | 5

#4408229 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 19:43

It's a small world after all!

christiebaby578 | 9

#4409164 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 23:48

Damnit 97!

By cliffibom | 15

#4406126 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:11

Oh what a terrible life

By littlemsweirdo | 12

#4406129 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:12

Has anyone seen the song worm just when you thought you knew it yahoo video?

boofgall | 16

#4406205 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:27

Uh, what are you talking about?

SkoomaKi | 27

#4406586 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 11:24

*eye twitches* can't....decipher....comment...

GetKayotic | 12

#4406674 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 11:56

I wonder if it was autocorrect that raped her comment...

kaymi | 17

#4407306 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 15:51

I saw it! I like those corny WHO KNEW videos. Unfortunately now the Star Wars cantina is stuck in my head. Damn ear worms.

By CaptMurdock | 25

#4406132 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:13

Just walk around the house singing/humming a different song then!

By mama2b3 | 20

#4406136 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:14

dunnn dun dun dun dun dunn,,, dun dun dun dunnn dun, dun dun dun dun!

DogsPaw | 16

#4406173 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:20

Fuck.

thatonewhitegirl | 0

#4407232 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 15:17

now its stuck in y head. fuck.

cheesyfeet2001 | 31

#6547277 - Sunday 28 February 2016 15:56

Wrong tune, the cantina song is not the Star Wars theme.

By FortuneCookie3 | 1

#4406137 - Tuesday 8 May 2012 8:14

listen to the dubstep version.