Poopoo peepee, Gross, Cute and Kids: Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the...

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 3 442

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Same thing different taste

By Eringobrag88 - 27/06/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 276

You deserved it 4 014

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 300

Little bundles of joy

By SD. - 15/05/2021 16:06 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 174

Stinky

By Carolina R-h - 18/06/2019 16:30

Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 250

Shidding and farding

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 290

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 371

You deserved it 406

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 047

You deserved it 2 968

So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 956

You deserved it 437

By mom - 26/01/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 938

You deserved it 10 140

ediciusNJ 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:41

This reinforces my belief that children are not sweet, cute and good-smelling but instead nasty, disgusting-smelling carriers of filth.

jpgray1982 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:26

haha poo face

Comments

jenni_1285 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:26

ewww

ecko_7672 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 1:39

YDI for not potty training her

rubzzz 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 18:18

yep, use a condom in the future :)

BeeBabyee420 0

Monday 16 August 2010 19:48

****** aye seriously. 2 years old and not potty trained.... you hella deserve it

jpgray1982 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:26

haha poo face

CallMeHush 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:30

Poop Slap

Tandrael 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:31

punish her! or do something!

infiniti_G 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:52

YOU SO HOT GURL

Groaty12 0

Wednesday 8 August 2012 14:11

Well, u can't be that harsh, shes just a child.

iLIKEloling 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:40

YUM

anela_fml 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:41

ahhhhhh wanna hurl just thinkin bout it

ediciusNJ 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:41

This reinforces my belief that children are not sweet, cute and good-smelling but instead nasty, disgusting-smelling carriers of filth.

namnams 3

Monday 25 January 2010 16:42

Don't you think this story is cute?

lifeislife_fml 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 2:46

I hope #9 is a joke. D:

renaissancegrrl 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 3:49

Agreed! =D

Boy_Flow 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 7:28

wow your a jackass #8....

stewie1744 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 8:03

dumbass

kAhlie 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 0:03

I agree with #8

lindsaylu98 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 3:12

i guess u were one too werent u???

mercedeslove 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:44

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

missey_jey 0

Monday 25 January 2010 20:58

i hope this happens to you for saying that

Diashoni 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 0:59

#50: Really? You call a TWO YEAR OLD a bitch? I hope to god you don't have children.

lifeislife_fml 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 2:51

I hope to god I don't have children.

stewie1744 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 6:58

I gtg with 49 on this one

xlostwithoutu 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 17:36

Even though Missy_jey annoys the shit outta me I gotta agree with her...

Twi_lover_EC 6

Monday 25 January 2010 16:48

Children will be children. And parents have to deal with that type of stuff. -Poop, pee, puke, ect..-Have fun!

BurpusMe 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:50

Welcome to mudderhood.

Keywords

Love Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Miscellaneous Relatable You're fired Work Cars Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Sex Intimacy Management Poopoo peepee Frustration Coworkers Capitalism Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Technology Health

The Top

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 507

You deserved it 15 067

The Top

Today, while I was using the bathroom at work, I heard someone come into the stall next to mine and start talking. Thinking they were on the phone, I stayed quiet… but then they said, “I know it’s you, Jennifer.” My name isn't Jennifer. I had to sit there in silence until they left, pretending to be someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 191

Today, I excitedly went to check this week's paycheck, only to see that I only received $9.00. This isn't a mistake, this is really what I make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 167

Today, I decided to try and call into a local radio station to try and win concert tickets for one of my favorite bands. I called in and was actually the winning number. When asked my name I answered quickly, but all I heard was "Hello? Hello?" Then they hung up. My cell phone was on mute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 376

You deserved it 16 588

Today, I was looking through old childhood pictures for my father's funeral and I found one of our old Christmas cards. I looked at it and noticed in the background our two dogs enjoying very spirited sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 203

Today, I was involved in a crash at work. When I was asked if I had been drinking, instead of saying, "I don't drink" my words got screwed up and I said, "I don't think." Everyone is now certain I caused the crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 160

You deserved it 1 193

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 135

You deserved it 3 210

Same thing different taste

Primitive art

Little bundles of joy

Stinky

Shidding and farding

Charming...

Blasted

So sweet

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