She will obviously be make a salad to eat while reading.

Toss the (cucumber) salad? Flick the Pickle? Cu-cum? Possibilities are endless. This is going to turn into fifty shades of green and pink.

Start a cucumber farm duh

I would log with toss the Cucumber salad. I would've loved to be there in person and seen this. I feel a bet coming on with my friends.

Be worse if op was man.

44, why would it be worse? :P

47 - Because fifty shades of green and brown is frowned upon in today's society.

You mean the filthy shades

Turn it into a pickle...

Never mind cucumbers, should've gotten kielbasa. Then you could've winked at the cashier and said, "Kielbasa doggy style."

My kielbasa sausage has just got to perform!

i read that book every night with my handy pickle :)

She's going to do a disappearing trick with it. Now you see it...now you don't.. Now you see it...now you don't ! (repeat)

125, you are a genius ，you do the same trick ?

No...I'm the cucumber.

Maybe OP is going to relax and put on a face mask with cucumbers on her eyes before she reads?

I feel like more people should have gotten the Tenacious D reference! It's a sad day.

yeah because you can totally do that with one cucumber.....

Why so serious?

Me serious? Almost never :P

Keevarou is a glass half full type of guy.

My point was that he didn't really need to analyse the whole FML. But whatever floats your boat I guess.

We intercept FML's differently, and that is good :p

Optimism's good. Fake "look at me, I'm so laid-back" optimism, not so much.

56 - I hate to be that guy, but Interpret** To intercept is to disturb halfway or intervene

Thank you 59, no wonder it looked wrong I tried interept first, then the iPhone suggested intercept, which still looked wrong. And sorry if I seem that way 58, but that is just how I am. One of the last things I am, is a poser

But it's still a thing you are?

66, who's what?

Give away the book, keep the cucumber haha

...somebody doin somethin sliiick.

How is it a bitch #3? That's a hilarious bet. I mean, it's really not that bad. I have gone through worse ones.. But I give props to the cashier for not exploding into laughter. I lack composure and probably would of cracked up.

I meant it could be a variety of reasons that's why

4, read your name, and that is what I thought reading your comment..

Minus the lol, and the wow.

you're*

#110 He used the correct form. Quite a fail you've performed.

113 - 110 was responding to 4's comment, which should say "you're" instead of "your". 110 was correct, unlike yourself. Quite a fail you've performed.

#113 Apply cold water to burned area.

115 - your was the correct form unless you think 10 was trying to say 'you are' comment.

136- Read the comment from 115.

Yeah- now that I've read this again, I see the immense mockery that should be made of my comment. Apologies.

And a potato Peeler to customize the cucumber.

Like 69, your welcome.

And a box of condoms ;)

And some ranch dressing.

And Tylenol PM

And some duct tape.

And a rope

No jelly, no lube. After all, it -is- the 50 shades of Grey :D

Fluffy pink handcuffs!

Should be grateful they didn't make you use it

#108, or did they?

Fuck the ranch, jelly, lube, and vinegar... WE GOING IN DRYYYY

#8, cucumbers are double-ended the last time I looked ;)

ASS TO ASS!

And probably 10 shades of red from embarrassment LOL

Does it matter? The point of the FML was that she lost & had to do this.

it does matter, this way we can judge how stupid op really is