Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost a bet with friends and now have to sit and watch all the Twilight movies. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the three books. FML
Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
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Top comments
JennNoVa 8
I would have made you buy a tube of K.Y. Jelly too. Be grateful.
iOceanus 18
She will obviously be make a salad to eat while reading.
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Comments (170)
SquishFish 15
http://fumaga.com/13009 And here's the story from the cashiers point of view
ZombieSazza 34
#104, that just made my day!
KingCeltic77 18
Sounds like you're in a bit of a pickle.
nowthenagain10 8
More like the pickles in a bit of her.
outoftown 27
The only thing funnier than the bet is that you can buy the book in a supermarket in super-conservative Idaho.
akiahara 14
Morals rarely interfere with profit.
HeartOfLead 24
You go, OP! Throw that pride right out the window!
ni0ve 9
That's hilarious
Thr33to16 8
At least it wasn't a carrot. That shit can kill.
BellaBelle_fml 23
1,000 Ways To Die. That show reinforces just how amazingly easy and quickly anyone could die at any moment.
yangliu 3
eggplant will be better
FranzFerdinand 18
Your life is awesome, since you have such cool friends. Quit complaining OP (:
toaster012 17
I liked that book... But the cucumber took it to a whole different level. Lol
JustSarah 13
I'm sorry for you OP, but it is just hilarious. Fabulous idea from your friends.