By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 08:06 - United States - Gig Harbor

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 426
You deserved it 4 423

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Just remember that 50 Shades of Grey is originally a Twilight fanfiction. You're probably better off without her.

Well, tell her you're even since she's not able to please you like Sasha Grey. :P


Just remember that 50 Shades of Grey is originally a Twilight fanfiction. You're probably better off without her.

Damian95 16

And it was about a horribly abusive relationship. Seems to me like there's no loss there OP.

That book kinda sucked. I didn't get how people found it erotic, it was pretty ridiculous. I read a few excerpts online and all it did was make me laugh hysterically

I share your opinion jessaiee. I was constantly thinking "what the hell am i reading actually"

Kinda off-topic, but you guys should look up "A Dramatic (Drunken) Reading of 50 Shades of Grey" on Youtube and click on the video by gineriella. It's absolutely hilarious and makes the books seem even more ridiculous.

trueblue170 13

I had to rescue my aunt from reading it once. It's disgusting. "Probably" is a bit of an understatment, #1. X'D

In addition to #31's comment, Gilbert Gottfried reading 50 Shades is on YouTube and is utterly brilliant.

Ugh! Those books are terrible!!! I only got through the first sample chapter on my kindle before I was sure it had to be written as a joke. So, so, so terrible. Just awful.

I actually liked the books a lot. I think I should point out that they have nothing to do with twilight. They were written by 2 different people. Each person has their own opinion on things. Some people liked them & some people didn't. I think the last book could have been written better. Anything that was read online probably didn't explain the details of their relationship which is a more important part of the story than the sex they had. That being said, this bitch is insane & OP, you're better off without her. She obviously can't tell the difference between reality & fantasy. You need someone more stable than that.

101, It is nothing like Twilight, but it was inspired by Twilight (somehow). I haven't seen/read any of the author interviews but apparently she said it started off as Twilight fanfiction somewhere.

tjv3 10

So basically she wanted to be dominated, humiliated, and treated like dirt. OP cut your loses and look for a better woman

I agree with your opinion, I thought that the third book could have had a better ending but it was still okay.

#31 I Saw it... I absolutely loved it.. It's the best thing!! Better than the novel.. better than damned TWILIGHT!

Im an avid reader & I read the entire series because it was a New York Times best seller & i hated the 2nd book i strted skipping over the ridiculous sex scenes (there was one every 8 pgs or so) & all that was left was a tired,predictable storyline.The characters were stagnant & the climaxes,no pun intended, were boring. If your girlfriend wanted Christian Grey, she also wanted a chaffed ****** cause theres no way a virgin or anyone for that matter could have such intense,rough sex (NO LUBE INCLUDED) as much as they did without chaffing!

monnanon 13

101-it is a well known, well documented fact that 50 shades was a twilight fic before it became what it is today. I applaud the author for making it big but it just shows how books are going the same way as the music industry. no talents with a whole heap of luck and a smaterring of popular story themes are making it big over some really good stuff. no one wants to take a risk in eithet industry anymore.

Llamassss 21

Well, I guess it's time to study. In all seriousness, be glad she's gone if she's that irrational.

Llamassss 21

Now I'm imagining having to dodge vibrators. If you can dodge a vibrator, you can dodge a ball!

Jake_Hale 7

OP you better read up and study! I'm telling you right now 50 shades is SO hot.

Jake_Hale, yea it's very hot in the fireplace. Right where it belongs.

Jake_Hale 7

No I mean "hot" as in stimulating the mind and giving you good ideas to do with your partner.

Right now I wish I could use and abuse the downvote button over and over on you... @45

Llamassss 21

Into the wee hours of the morning.

squideth 18

Jake_Hale I don't think I've ever seen one of your comments not buried. Half the time I come to the comment section just to see what new bullshit you've come up with.

Llamassss 21

Well, Jake's comments are gone.

How could anyone deserve this?? The girlfriend is an idiot.

Your picture is perfect for this FML

Because he deserves a better girlfriend !

And because he should not date such a stupid girl.

if she left him because he doesn't do exactly as the book implies than yes she's an idiot but If he was just unwilling to try to spice things up then he deserves it. some people like it rough and maybe she's tried to communicate that to him but he's being prude. I clicked on both because there's not enough information. id leave someone too if they weren't even attempting to meet my needs. for all we know he might not be reciprocating

Well, tell her you're even since she's not able to please you like Sasha Grey. :P

Sasha is pretty damn good at what she does!

perdix 29

#4, great call! I really like Grey's anatomy ;)

zingline89 18

So basically she wants you to tie her naked to the bed and shove a ***** up her butt.

AtomicDiamond87 15

Either that, or she wants to be masturbated with her tampon. D:

Holy hell is that really in the book? I don't care if it's a metaphor that's just wrong.

I don't believe it is. I think he just pulls out her tampon all fast-like.

Still wrong - don't ever want anyone other than myself to be pulling at that. :S

how does anybody deserve this? i dont understand. EDIT: Sorry #3 didn't see your comment

challan 19

Tell her she's not able to make chocolate like Willy Wonka. To think that your life can be a fictional story is completely irrational, and she's demented, OP. However, it won't hurt for you to learn how to spice up your bedroom routine for your next relationship. Sometimes women, even the sweetest of ladies, like to be treated like a nasty *****.

treat them like a lady on the street, but a where in the bedroom

Yep, don't forget the buffalo wings. (:

Yes I can attest to this. This is another reminder I should leave on my boyfriend's doorstep with a box of lemons. (From a previous FML. Basically I don't get enough sex.)

You do know that explaining your jokes as you say them utterly ruins them, right?

so you're not an abusive man with more issues than time magazine. I say good for you.