Miscellaneous: Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super...

By Anonymous - 21/02/2013 13:43 - United States - Boise

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 949

You deserved it 11 979

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Same thing different taste

Team none of them

By twihard - 10/09/2021 23:00 - United States

Today, I lost a bet with friends and now have to sit and watch all the Twilight movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 883

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 274

You deserved it 12 351

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 20:56 - United States - South Hadley

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 833

You deserved it 15 932

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 08:06 - United States - Gig Harbor

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 424

You deserved it 4 423

By Dv0829 - 21/10/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 231

You deserved it 4 825

By IamHM - 24/10/2015 18:04 - United States

Today, I walked 2 miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager and everyone in line behind me. I walked 2 miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 673

You deserved it 4 303

By danskinnow - 05/10/2009 02:01 - United States

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 114

You deserved it 34 687

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 290

By totallyembarassed - 07/07/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 993

You deserved it 28 756

By MichiganExile - 31/01/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 561

You deserved it 5 936

JennNoVa 8

Thursday 21 February 2013 19:21

I would have made you buy a tube of K.Y. Jelly too. Be grateful.

iOceanus 18

Thursday 21 February 2013 19:22

She will obviously be make a salad to eat while reading.

Comments

icepick23 12

Thursday 21 February 2013 22:56

You are sexy.

FML_14u2c 14

Thursday 21 February 2013 23:09

I hope you picked the largest, thickest cucumber!

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 21 February 2013 23:27

I was going to read it when it first came out... Thank goodness for reviews.

ColbyGB 13

Thursday 21 February 2013 23:33

Who doesn't love to enjoy a healthy snack while reading 50 shades of Grey? ;)

Xotoolyxo 16

Friday 22 February 2013 0:12

Lube?

mrcool4847 10

Friday 22 February 2013 0:54

What a pickle

DDCA 24

Friday 22 February 2013 0:58

You forgot the whip and handcuffs.

Satoaoi 13

Friday 22 February 2013 0:58

lol. good times

Ray_of_midnight 22

Friday 22 February 2013 1:29

As long as you didn't actually have to *read* 50 Shades of Grey. Reading such awful fiction would truly be a FML.

DJrEddyLeb 7

Friday 22 February 2013 2:07

If i was the one making the bet, i would of made you buy vaseline with that book... XD

Keywords

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Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 945

You deserved it 46 026

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 847

You deserved it 635

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 4 933

You deserved it 480

Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 823

You deserved it 2 792

Today, it's my first wedding anniversary, or Paper anniversary. I got him airline tickets for an expensive weekend break for two in Berlin. He got me a toilet roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 360

You deserved it 5 006

Today, I cycled to the office in my new uniform pants. When I arrived an hour later, my sweat had already soaked through them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 845

Today, a co-worker called in sick due to a family emergency. I ended up working an unplanned 12-hour overnight shift. After I clocked out, I dragged myself out to the parking lot to go home. Someone had smeared tacos all over my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 469

You deserved it 211

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 277

You deserved it 3 681

Same thing different taste

Team none of them

Get on with it!

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