Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost a bet with friends and now have to sit and watch all the Twilight movies. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the three books. FML
Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JennNoVa 8
I would have made you buy a tube of K.Y. Jelly too. Be grateful.
iOceanus 18
She will obviously be make a salad to eat while reading.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
octopussperm125 18
Self-checkout
audball8498 4
Lawling right now
MisSissy 3
You should have bought some finger condoms too, that would be hilarious...
cmac86 24
your friends are awesome!
scott82 5
Not funny boring
mirthfulMessiahs 21
What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? c;
fishielover1124 12
I have to say, though, 50 Shades was a really good read! I loved all 3 books :D And I hope the author writes a 4th <3
PurpleKicks 22
thats nothing, a friend lost a bet and had to buy a Justin bieber calendar & a bottle of baby oil! he's a dude too!
Diana_Christine 5
That is when you wink at the cashier and say "I'm planning on a fun night!" And if the cashier is cute and you're single ask him if he wants to join in!
Inked0803 12
Should've winked at them