All the FMLs

Hi, OP here, yes it was The Enmore, and it was a great show. I actually went to see Apocalyptica, Manson was just an extra. I really don't know how it got in my crack, I was wearing clothes (a tight dress AND stockings). I was on the barrier, and right in front of the cannon. I was shaking it out of my hair all the way home, and thought I had gotten the most of it out. Unfortunately when I got undressed I found it had gotten into my clothes too, under my bra, all over my back. There was just so much of the stuff, the floor was thick with it! Needless to say I avoided Manson at Soundwave yesterday. I did see a bunch of glitter on the ground though when I went to the stage after for a different band! Haha herpes of the craft world - love it!

Priorities

By natashamilan - 26/02/2015 01:43 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 770

You deserved it 2 852

By need sleep - 25/02/2015 16:53 - United States - Severna Park

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 379

You deserved it 2 342

By cat-astrophic - 25/02/2015 15:44 - United Kingdom

Today, after 3 years of studying to be a veterinarian, I found out I may not be able to continue. It's not because I'm failing my classes, but because my body has developed an allergy to cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 111

You deserved it 2 861

By mags89 - 25/02/2015 14:18 - United States

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 417

You deserved it 3 628

mags89 tells us more.

mags89 10

Thursday 26 February 2015 0:46

He's divorced and has three kids. All grown. He set it that way himself. He was a pretty good sport though and everyone laughed about it.

Dingus friends

By Anonymous - 25/02/2015 11:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I was telling my friends that I'd gotten a paid position to cover a worker's bereavement leave for the next three weeks. They then called me an insensitive bitch for "profiting from someone else's misfortune." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 640

You deserved it 2 859

Detained

By Anonymous - 25/02/2015 10:33 - Australia - Maddington

Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 252

You deserved it 13 269

By ruthlessrobin - 25/02/2015 06:31 - United States - Pittsburg

Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 321

You deserved it 2 470

ruthlessrobin tells us more.

ruthlessrobin 9

Wednesday 25 February 2015 19:05

I went to the store manager who said "what do you expect? You don't make 22 cakes a day." That level is for mass production I am put on specialty orders 90% of the time. He didn't care

By Spike2013 - 25/02/2015 05:57 - Canada - Thompson

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 884

You deserved it 2 992

Spike2013 tells us more.

Spike2013 4

Thursday 26 February 2015 5:29

Hey, OP here. I was on the road, the other driver was exiting the parking lot and pulled out directly in front of me. I hit the drivers side front fender and door on her car. I had no time to stop. Fortunately for her, I was well under the speed limit otherwise it would have been a lot worse. The police said she was 100% at fault because she didn't make sure it was safe to proceed.

By Sarah1330 - 25/02/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 421

You deserved it 3 349

By whiteycan'tgetitrightey - 24/02/2015 23:13 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I apologised to someone for my misuse of the word 'coloured' in a discussion about ethnic minority issues. They then got even more angry and said that to even quote the word in the context of an apology is evidence of my ignorance and inherent racism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 051

You deserved it 4 947

By Sheldon76 - 24/02/2015 19:43

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 353

You deserved it 2 177

Sheldon76 tells us more.

Sheldon76 16

Wednesday 25 February 2015 17:00

Well once she felt the resistance she stopped and deflated it fully. But unfortunately it had traveled some down the urethra before she realized. So I had to wait while she grabbed another syringe unfortunately.