All the FMLs

By Anonymous - 12/05/2015 03:02 - United States - Springfield

Today, my new prescription medicine for my chronic acne did in fact work. It worked by inflaming the skin around my zits so that they blended in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 933

You deserved it 2 099

By batah - 12/05/2015 02:49 - United States - Columbus

Today, 2 years into our relationship, my boyfriend's parents still have no idea about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 296

You deserved it 4 618

batah tells us more.

batah 15

Tuesday 12 May 2015 21:03

Wow, I really didn't think this would get posted! OP here to answer questions, yes it is a cultural/religious reason why his parents have yet to know, he is Moroccan Muslim. We plan on telling them soon when his dad comes back to America :) he just doesn't want to tell them over the phone and risk making anyone angry. Thanks for the comments guys!

By Basically_ - 11/05/2015 21:24 - United States - Charleroi

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 911

You deserved it 4 709

Basically_ tells us more.

Basically_ 6

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:52

OP here! Maybe I should have specified that the medication causes mild confusion, as in, maybe I forget where a specific resident keeps their towels. Alzheimer's residents can get very upset if everything is not done in a specific way. I would never go to work if I thought I could not do my job!

By Becky - 11/05/2015 20:54 - United Kingdom - Dorchester

Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 938

You deserved it 2 390

By oops - 11/05/2015 16:40 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 499

You deserved it 9 908

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 16:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 331

You deserved it 4 521

By technodont - 11/05/2015 14:37 - United States

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 308

You deserved it 4 357

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 06:59 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 349

You deserved it 3 564

By CryoSpectre - 11/05/2015 04:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 907

You deserved it 2 351

By weirdlaugh - 10/05/2015 22:08 - United States

Today, I planned a lunch out with my mom for Mother's Day. She seemed excited about it and "couldn't wait!" She never showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 375

You deserved it 2 091

By pissed - 10/05/2015 14:34 - United States - Dearborn

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 858

You deserved it 8 045

By Anonymous - 10/05/2015 13:47 - United States

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 677

You deserved it 5 279

By yapDogs - 10/05/2015 01:43 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I sent a $120 bouquet of flowers for mother's day. When I called tonight see if my Mom got them, she replied that they were still on the doorstep because she "didn't want the dogs to get excited and start barking" when she opened the front door to bring them in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 883

You deserved it 2 392

By schober60 - 10/05/2015 01:30 - United States

Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 682

You deserved it 3 188

schober60 tells us more.

schober60 13

Sunday 10 May 2015 15:26

On the bright side it didn't land between the seats..

By forever alone - 09/05/2015 23:03 - Germany - Apolda

Today, my boyfriend told me that we wouldn't move in together as we had planned to do for a long time. His mother forbade it. He is 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 179

You deserved it 3 065

Don't get it

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 19:17 - United States - Bristol

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 305

You deserved it 3 344

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 18:50 - United States - Humble

Today, on my first driving lesson, I crashed my instructor's car. I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 245

You deserved it 11 107

By ForeverAlone - 09/05/2015 15:53 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, I emotionally confessed to the guy I like. His English isn't that good, so he asked me to repeat it several times. He ended up telling me no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 955

You deserved it 3 084

By sarahmaxine - 09/05/2015 04:10 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 603

You deserved it 2 120

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 03:31 - United States

Today, my college charged me for tuition for next semester. I graduated two years ago. I have a degree from a place too stupid to only charge current students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 655

You deserved it 2 348

By bkb12 - 08/05/2015 21:44 - United States - South Windsor

Today, I found out the reason why my car has smelled so bad for the past two weeks. It turns out when my sister was bringing in groceries from my car she forgot to grab the raw chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 726

You deserved it 3 445

bkb12 tells us more.

bkb12 16

Saturday 9 May 2015 22:25

Hey everyone, I'm the OP of this post. I didn't notice the smell for so long because the smell had started two weeks ago and only got worse everyday. I looked at my car and couldn't find the source. I sprayed it with febreze hoping that would make it go away. I'm a teenage girl, so I don't know much about cars so I figured it was just something in the hood. When I finally found the chicken, it had been under the backseat the whole time. My sister is actually only 9. I took her shopping with me and she offered to bring in all the bags. I guess I can't blame her though, because the chicken had been hiding. I told her about it and we laughed it off. My car smells fine now. Thanks for all the comments!

By better late than never - 08/05/2015 21:32

Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 303

You deserved it 3 718