By Anonymous - 28/01/2016 16:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 379
You deserved it 1 823

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Drink your own breast milk. It's supposedly good for building muscle. Soon you'll be having your opponents begging for your secret.

askullnamedbilly 33

Just tell the haters your body's in such good shape even your nipples are crying at the sight of it!

Comments

Drink your own breast milk. It's supposedly good for building muscle. Soon you'll be having your opponents begging for your secret.

Supaviper 14

Does anyone remember that FML where a guy asked his friend for breast milk? Drink your own milk OP - that sounds so wrong on so many levels - and if anyone laughs, show them your muscle.

#9 That's exactly the first thing I thought of. Except I was thinking more of that angry follow-up the OP left in all caps.

yenze 18

ARNOLD HIMSELF DRINKS THE STUFF

Oh ya I remember that one... Ya that op got reeeeally mad... wonder if he's on here?

If he is maybe he can buy some of this op's milk

tounces7 27

I'm not entirely convinced that your body can create a net gain on nutrients it produces itself. I mean - since his body is creating the milk - one would assume he's using up nutrients to do so, and digesting them again would merely replace some of them.

Talis99 26

I want to know this story. Anyone care to repeat it?

Supaviper 14

#54 You have a point, But I'm guessing if OP's body can support producing milk, then he'd already be strong? Oh god we need a doctor here. #73 There was this bodybuilder who asked one of his female friends for breast milk, and then realized how creepy/weird that sounded, and then posted an FML. He then posted a follow-up, in all caps, describing the text he sent her, her shock, and that they probably won't be friends anymore. It was hilarious because of the all-caps thing, and then Alan responded "STOP SHOUTING". Good times xD

No, it really can't. At least not calorie for calorie. But if one only had access to junk food for a few days and drank their own breast milk in addition to that, they'd be better off than if they didn't. And of course if someone was beginning to starve but still producing breast milk, there's no reason not to drink it again if they don't have to feed a baby with it. FYL, OP. Unless it's from steroid abuse in which case you most definitely deserve it.

that's a good way to milk it for all it's worth

If anyone laughs...knock them out! Lol just kidding op I hope you do well

I bet it would really throw off your opponent.

Yeah, his body will be extra slick, so no punch will stick!

Hey if it tastes good no problem, right?

askullnamedbilly 33

Just tell the haters your body's in such good shape even your nipples are crying at the sight of it!

See if you can get away with wearing a tank or vest top, and maybe put plasters on your nipples to soak up anything that comes out?

askullnamedbilly 33

OP could even put on pasties with images of old gold coins and call himself 'The Treasure Chest'.

Wouldn't wearing a top only draw more attention to the fluids building up there? Unless they blast him with a firehose beforehand…

Well, now you can really milk the competition!

Work it to your advantage - "I've mastered masculine, now watch as I take the next step..." Y'know, I can feel the wrong-ness here...