Animals: Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never...

By sweetie808 - 28/01/2016 08:39 - United States - Kailua Kona

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 741

You deserved it 1 782

Animals

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Bird song

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 20:00

Today, I figured I've been watching too many horror films, due to my parrot mimicking a women's blood-curdling screams that he heard in a movie. How do I know? He decided to reproduce the screams at 3 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 422

By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 20:07 - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 747

You deserved it 6 997

By weep weep weep - 12/03/2012 03:04 - United States

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 914

You deserved it 3 836

By In urgent need of a new roommate - 26/03/2014 23:44 - United States - West Linn

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 533

You deserved it 3 364

By Anonymous - 09/06/2016 19:39 - Germany - Munich

Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 211

You deserved it 1 144

What did you say?

By What? - 22/01/2013 19:00 - Australia

Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 647

You deserved it 4 106

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 729

You deserved it 8 400

By MacGrouber - 17/03/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 842

You deserved it 4 742

Sky the killer

By omnomnom - 05/02/2011 00:29 - Canada

Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 071

You deserved it 8 030

By bird problems - 07/03/2016 17:42 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, since I've been paying attention to my newborn, my pet cockatoo learned to cry like the baby on the middle of the night. I haven't gotten more than four hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 312

You deserved it 2 721

Crazion 26

Thursday 28 January 2016 18:30

I think someone killed your bird. Just a hunch.

Red_Curls1995 28

Thursday 28 January 2016 18:31

Well they only mimic what they hear so I think it's safe to say someone killed your lovebird.

Comments

Crazion 26

Thursday 28 January 2016 18:30

I think someone killed your bird. Just a hunch.

firefighter925 18

Thursday 28 January 2016 20:11

Redrum... Redrum

hfslkp47012759 28

Thursday 28 January 2016 21:53

Even more terrifying. Your parrot didn't kill your bird; someone snuck in and killed your bird and then told your parrot to tell you it happened. Sweet dreams. Lol.

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 29 January 2016 0:32

Or someone could have taught the parrot to say that after the lovebird had died of natural causes.

MoxleyCrue 17

Friday 29 January 2016 5:16

32- Obviously the parrot didn't kill the birds. Parrots learn phrases my repeating what they hear, it didn't just come up with that sentence on its own.