Transportation: Today, I finally scrounged up enough change to do laundry, so...

By CaptainKidd - 30/01/2016 02:34 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, I finally scrounged up enough change to do laundry, so I loaded up my car, swung by the bank to take out my rent money, and stopped at a gas station to get a drink. When I came outside, my car was gone, along with all my clothes and rent money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 961

You deserved it 2 928

CaptainKidd_fml tells us more.

CaptainKidd_fml 12

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Saturday 30 January 2016 19:51

No, I didn't leave the car running. I do leave an extra set I keep hidden in the car so in the two minutes I was gone, I guess they got lucky. To clear up some confusion, I'm a college student and have to live paycheck to paycheck. I don't get paid nearly enough at my job, and as soon as I get paid, that money goes to rent, leaving just enough for food. For laundry, I save up the change I get from work until I have enough to do a load.

Transportation

Mama's boy

Bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do?

Working from home rules!

Nice, thanks

By sweetnan - 28/08/2013 01:29 - Chile - Santiago

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 214

You deserved it 8 318

By and he wonders why I'm anxious - 25/02/2016 22:41 - Netherlands

Today, after years of torment by my anxiety disorders and therapy and medication not helping, I've made the decision to try hypnosis. After doing a Google search and finding out my therapist is a man, my overly jealous fiancé insisted on joining, "because he might hypnotise you into cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 116

You deserved it 2 360

By ice4eva - 21/06/2019 14:05

Today, I was eating pizza and I started bitching about how our campus doesn't have any healthy food choices, and that I was forced to eat this disgusting, greasy pizza. My friend then pointed out that I was standing next to the salad bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 3 357

By shastadoe - 06/08/2012 06:37 - United States - Los Banos

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 516

You deserved it 5 833

By swmmr - 07/08/2011 19:41 - United States

Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 385

You deserved it 14 060

By Goobie - 15/01/2010 07:24 - United States

Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 395

You deserved it 3 631

By Anonymous - 29/11/2010 19:09

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 200

You deserved it 56 317

By Recon - 17/03/2009 12:16 - Switzerland

Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 564

You deserved it 8 390

You wish!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 02:22 - United States

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 730

You deserved it 2 460

By Alfie4 - 05/03/2012 22:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 193

You deserved it 10 352

By thisbethed - 02/11/2015 22:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss made up a rumor that I was quitting my job so I wouldn't get the promotion that was coming up. There goes that raise I've been wanting for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 870

You deserved it 1 522

By clumsy - 04/01/2011 15:47

Today, while walking on the sidewalk with my boyfriend, I slipped and fell. Not only did he not help me get up or ask if I was okay, he got mad at me for embarrassing him in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 178

You deserved it 4 689

Hard test

By Too Late - 19/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Sheboygan

Today, I went in to take my College Placement tests. I'd spent all week ignoring actual homework to study for these tests. When I got there, the responsible told me that the tests were last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 1 980

By Anonymous - 31/03/2014 04:43 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 807

You deserved it 4 771

By farmvillefail - 09/01/2010 00:10 - United States

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending text, email, or calling, but placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 853

You deserved it 4 350

By hopeless - 27/06/2011 14:09 - Canada

Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 752

You deserved it 54 039

Dangling modifier

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 23:06

Today, I took my dog out for his walk, only to find out that I had an extra bra hanging vertically out of my pants. Thankfully, the only person who saw me was the maintenance guy, who looked very confused, so I just smiled at him. I had no idea why, I only realized when the wind blew it against my leg and I saw my shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 754

You deserved it 467

By thefuck - 30/06/2013 22:08 - Ireland - Ballyjamesduff

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 789

You deserved it 3 651

By nataliepaige - 19/07/2011 04:43 - Canada

Today, I fell asleep while watching an action movie. My newly installed surround sound system scared me so bad that I fell off the couch and smashed my face on our coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 599

You deserved it 12 313

By IvyBlackeyes - 29/08/2018 01:30

Today, I sprained my ankle at dance class. No, I was not dancing when I did it. I was trying to step off on a small mat so I could go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 426

You deserved it 259

By starboi - 20/12/2016 19:19 - United States - Weaver

Today, I heard a girl say, "Darth Vader is that black guy from Star Trek, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 458

You deserved it 1 308

By buccaneer - 23/10/2012 16:26 - United States - Piscataway

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 814

You deserved it 3 534

By hanzastfu - 26/10/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 716

You deserved it 9 293

By Anonymous - 14/02/2012 12:39 - Australia

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 870

You deserved it 5 812

It's better than nothing, I suppose

By thatonekid - 06/05/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 950

You deserved it 5 164

By vat - 25/02/2013 08:33 - Hong Kong

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 300

You deserved it 3 634

Like a virgin

By JustSomeGuy - 30/07/2013 03:43 - United States - Bulverde

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 951

You deserved it 9 593

By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 176

You deserved it 6 243

Help me

By Backed up - 21/11/2019 08:00 - United States

Today, I had the privilege of looking into my husband's eyes and uttering one of the sexiest phrases in the English language, "I need a suppository." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 09/12/2013 05:57 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 449

You deserved it 3 358

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 139

Instagone

By Anonymous - 02/01/2018 22:00 - United States - Lyons

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of almost four years was breaking up with me when she captioned an Instagram post saying, "Who else besides me is going into 2018 single?" I had already bought an engagement ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 217

You deserved it 320

By college kid - 31/07/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 169

You deserved it 5 351

By Johnny - 19/12/2012 23:33 - United States - Memphis

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 366

You deserved it 8 683

By CUNTCUNTCUNT - 29/01/2014 21:28 - Australia - Slacks Creek

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 464

You deserved it 7 345

By CatLady - 06/01/2014 19:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 142

You deserved it 9 623

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 15:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my friend told me that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Since he's my friend, I didn't want to call him out too bad, so I joked that 90% of statistics are made up on the spot. He called me an idiot and lectured me on how I'd just made that figure up myself. I need new friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 123

You deserved it 6 044

By Anonymous - 08/04/2011 23:42 - United States

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 151

You deserved it 38 127

By JunkDex - 23/12/2015 07:45 - Australia - Merrylands

Today, my boss thought it would be a great idea to delay paying me until after Christmas. There goes rent, bills, food and of course Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 497

You deserved it 1 679

By Anonymous - 23/04/2011 20:54 - United States

Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 232

You deserved it 7 118

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Top comments

KaylaTackett 18

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Saturday 30 January 2016 19:34

Did you leave your car running?

Ipeh 20

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Saturday 30 January 2016 19:41

I also hate it when my clothes steal my car.

Lt_Senpai 21

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Saturday 30 January 2016 19:34

At least you still have the clothes on you.

krazy789 28

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Saturday 30 January 2016 19:56

i dont think this lil bit of postivity can make OP feel better. i hope the cops can find your car with your belongings OP!

firefighter925 18

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Saturday 30 January 2016 19:34

It's hiding!! shhh you have to find it!

KaylaTackett 18

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Saturday 30 January 2016 19:34

Did you leave your car running?

RiddleMePancake 12

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Saturday 30 January 2016 19:37

Sorry

gogo44444 28

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Saturday 30 January 2016 19:39

Should've paid more attention to your car

chuka81 27

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Saturday 30 January 2016 20:12

If people do what they should have done, we won't have any of these lovely FMLs now, would we?

gogo44444 28

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Sunday 31 January 2016 2:04

You obviously didn't notice the pun #21

moocowmilk0 19

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Saturday 30 January 2016 19:40

Jeez that really sucks sorry that had to happen to you OP

cprad11 12

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Saturday 30 January 2016 19:58

I never understand why people leave a comment such as "that sucks" when they can just tap the same option below the FML post. What happened obviously sucks, and it should go without reiteration.

Mpii 11

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Saturday 30 January 2016 22:37

It's because reading the comment feels alot better than seing the number of FYI's. Furthermore there are always accidental taps.

cprad11 12

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Saturday 30 January 2016 23:55

#42 Yet the ratio of FYLs to YDIs remains consistent throughout. It does no good to factor in accidental taps, nor does it do any good to comment something as pointless as "that sucks."