Animals: Today, my boyfriend brought me a bunny for a house present for...

By bluebelle - Australia

Today, my boyfriend brought me a bunny for a house present for moving into our first house. She escaped her cage and bit through the electrical wires, cutting out all our power and electrocuting and killing herself. FML

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Animals

Season finale

The smell detective is on the case

Goodbye Bill

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend proposed. I fainted due to the excitement. He took it as a "no" and won't pick up my calls. FML

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By omgstfuplz - United States

Today, I was arguing with one of my professors. She said that all married couples fight and I told her that my parents have never argued or fought about anything. When I got home my parents told me that they're getting a divorce. FML

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By not_fakingit - Canada - Montr?al

Lava

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

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By rubgy_lover - Canada - Surrey

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

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By dca101 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me because our "political views don't match" when I told her we needed to share house chores now that we live together. I know, I'm lost too. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Summerfield

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

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By Insomnia

Today, while trying to sleep after a night shift, workers came to hook up city sewage service, firing up drills and shouting. An hour later, my child woke me up to tattle on her sister. Just as I was drifting to sleep yet again, the smoke alarm battery started chirping. I give up. FML

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By melonhead - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/2/2021 01:01 - Mexico - Iztacalco

That's… sexy

Today, my wife threw up in the middle of sex, then fell asleep right after. I didn't even finish and it'd been over a month since the last time. FML

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By A. Person - Mexico

Today, I was t-boned by a car that sent mine flying into five parked cars. My car was totalled. As the person who hit me pulled me out of the right side of the car he said, "Sorry. I sneezed." FML

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By Drill Drilled - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML

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By gr8terevil - United States

Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room, with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. And now it's melting. FML

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By Sally256 - United States

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

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By SoMuchForThatIdea

Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML

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By Yuuucky - Canada

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

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By Tanuki_paws - United States - Phoenix

Today, I'm so broke that I got buyer's remorse after buying a $2 bottle of pancake syrup. FML

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By fml - Canada

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

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By Nikki - United States - Satellite Beach

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

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By DesperateMother - France - Wasselonne

Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML

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By mackenzie_cain - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

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By makehimscrubit - United States - Hawthorne

Today, I found out the guys I live with have an ongoing contest to see if they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with urine when they pee. I could forgive this in my seven-year-old son, but not my forty-year-old husband. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out where a few of my favorite outfits went. My mother had taken them out of my closet, wrapped them, and given them to my cousin as a gift. FML

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By PLU - Canada

Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML

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By littlekellilee - Canada

Today, I was told I have narcolepsy, and I've it for a year and a half. When asked why I didn't go to a doctor before, I answered that I'd always assumed it was a normal adult thing to fall asleep randomly because of how everyone says they're always exhausted. Apparently not. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/9/2020 07:25 - United States

Mean girls

Today, I watched our presidential candidates face off like high school girls with the whole world watching. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I was hungover and had to run to put the rubbish out for the bin lorry, only I was so hungover I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML

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By KMO - United States

Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after getting an expensive haircut, I showed it to my boyfriend. Instead of saying, "Wow, those bangs look great on you" he said, "Wow, you look really good when you don't show your forehead." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

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By gui909 - France

Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Call Mario

Today, I was making out with a guy in a washroom at a party. Things got heavy and the guy lifted me onto the sink. The sink broke off from the wall. This caused a flood in the apartment. The party was canceled. FML

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By starbird - United States

Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML

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By Greatgrandpa - Curacao

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, for the third time in as many months, I woke up early and got dressed up for our department’s networking breakfast, where I stood in the back with no seat and no food, while employees from other departments and less senior staff ate breakfast. My boss later asked me if the food was good. FML

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By Username - France

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Arlington

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one ringing me from down the hall. FML

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By anonymous

Next, on A&E…

Today, when I got out of the shower, my mother, my boyfriend, and 3 of my friends confronted me for an intervention. My problem? They think I'm a workaholic. What they don't know is that I lost my job 4 weeks ago. I stay up all night filling out job applications. FML

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Top comments

By kibster9 | 20

#6439471 - Monday 19 October 2015 23:01

The bunny discovered that electricity is quite shocking

By smileyemsen | 19

#6439457 - Monday 19 October 2015 22:50

Poor little bunny :(

COMMENTS

By smileyemsen | 19

#6439457 - Monday 19 October 2015 22:50

Poor little bunny :(

MasterTron | 24

#6439544 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 0:05

I guess we know who is not going to be the next energizer bunny

beefsupreme78 | 16

#6439572 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 0:32

It seems to me like we just found out.

By airforce987 | 20

#6439458 - Monday 19 October 2015 22:50

I'm sorry, that's hare-ible.

Rinat_fml | 26

#6439493 - Monday 19 October 2015 23:16

Wish I could say the same about your pun!

HoboRain | 15

#6439532 - Monday 19 October 2015 23:58

But it is.....

higgysaurus | 18

#6439617 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 1:17

would t-rabbit-sty work better? Its a stretch I know

heftysmash253 | 6

#6440333 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 23:48

Maybe it's in-hare-ably tragic, just like #2's attempt.

By DaRito | 25

#6439461 - Monday 19 October 2015 22:53

This is extremely saddening

nityasomaiya | 46

#6439874 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 10:17

Are you sure it escaped...and nothing else? o_O

By Anti_Sora | 31

#6439462 - Monday 19 October 2015 22:53

Op I hope you didn't get attached to that bunny really fast because I remember gerbils doing the same.

xx000o | 27

#6439922 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 12:30

Welsh rarebit pairs wonderfully with a nice burgundy.

By Bgreen94 | 12

#6439463 - Monday 19 October 2015 22:54

FYL

DogeDogeDoge | 13

#6439492 - Monday 19 October 2015 23:16

There's a button for that.

By laxtax | 19

#6439465 - Monday 19 October 2015 22:58

That bunny was a sleeper cell

By Attackofthebeans | 14

#6439467 - Monday 19 October 2015 22:59

well i hink ive done enogh reafing for one day....

XxDanno316xX | 27

#6439509 - Monday 19 October 2015 23:28

And typing.

Lalala579121 | 27

#6439511 - Monday 19 October 2015 23:29

Done enough reefer for one day, maybe.

aimbug | 42

#6439580 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 0:43

Time to work on spelling! (:

By kibster9 | 20

#6439471 - Monday 19 October 2015 23:01

The bunny discovered that electricity is quite shocking

TacoPeps | 14

#6439764 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 5:17

This is not the time for puns

metalhead4740 | 14

#6439839 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 8:19

Jesus that was savage

APHPrussia | 19

#6440147 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 18:33

Very savage but amazing all the same.

By SexyQueen0905 | 24

#6439472 - Monday 19 October 2015 23:01

Aaaand now I'm depressed for the rest of the day.

Lalala579121 | 27

#6439513 - Monday 19 October 2015 23:32

Time to go watch Bambi and Old Yeller.

Myo_fml | 20

#6439573 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 0:33

And Fox and the Hound.

Violenna | 14

#6441465 - Thursday 22 October 2015 4:12

And read Hachiko and Where the Red Fern Grows for good measure.

By Tripartita | 44

#6439474 - Monday 19 October 2015 23:02

I'm sorry, OP. This happened to me once. The wires just looked so tasty…