Animals: Today, my boyfriend brought me a bunny for a house present for...

By bluebelle - 19/10/2015 11:10 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend brought me a bunny for a house present for moving into our first house. She escaped her cage and bit through the electrical wires, cutting out all our power and electrocuting and killing herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 851

You deserved it 2 791

Animals

Bad Moon Rising

Boozehounds

Considerate

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 102

You deserved it 37 708

By fatty - 29/04/2015 01:36 - United States - West Chester

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 230

You deserved it 5 212

By halloweensucks - 01/11/2010 01:08 - United States

Today, I spent over an hour decorating my house for trick or treaters. I never got one person at my door because I forgot to unlock my gate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 413

You deserved it 35 425

By Noname - 13/03/2009 07:27 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend that I've had a crush on him since our junior year. Since I couldn't see him I shot him a text. His response: "Yeah I know. I've tried kind of ignoring it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 494

You deserved it 7 755

Pile on

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 21:01 - United States - Livermore

Today, I was laughingly informed that I'm an overachiever, by my doctor who thinks I have more health conditions than anyone my age should have. Guess who was just diagnosed with another? FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 89

By x_o - 04/08/2013 20:51 - Hungary - ?ttev?ny

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 180

You deserved it 3 846

By ouch. - 08/12/2012 10:44 - Canada - Whitehorse

Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 370

You deserved it 3 228

By Depirama - 28/02/2014 21:26 - France - Bron

Today, I confessed my love for the girl I like, on the forum she moderates. She responded by banning me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 541

You deserved it 16 423

By johnnydoe6969 - 20/11/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 720

You deserved it 45 966

By TeamVomit - 27/08/2017 23:15

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to surprise him and caught him with another girl. As my boyfriend got up to explain himself, I, in a state of shock, violently threw up on him (and partially her). His mum had let me in the house. At least I know whose side she's on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 764

You deserved it 298

By wow - 28/05/2014 23:08 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 910

You deserved it 5 419

By Username - 19/06/2011 09:51 - Australia

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 600

You deserved it 25 337

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 09:47 - France

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 518

You deserved it 4 245

By Farterella - 02/11/2016 20:30

Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 693

You deserved it 1 534

By KarlwithaK - 19/05/2009 03:29 - United States

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 878

You deserved it 4 156

By damnnn - 17/07/2015 12:40 - Australia

Today, I was standing on a step ladder to reach the batteries on top of my fridge so I could change the ones in my TV remote. My sister thought it would be funny to shake the ladder and see what would happen. I now have a broken leg and a TV remote with dead batteries in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 787

You deserved it 2 016

By lolwtfbbq444 - 15/01/2012 10:24 - Australia

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 024

You deserved it 3 766

By dead_painter - 04/05/2016 00:42 - United States - Arlington

Today, after spending hours of my time painting sets for the last two months - with less dedication than only the head painter herself, and to the point where my health and grades suffered - I finally got to see the play I worked so hard on. I was the only one they forgot to put in the playbill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 036

You deserved it 1 325

By abby181 - 03/09/2011 14:36 - United States

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 054

You deserved it 3 489

By Jacky-Boy - 07/08/2009 00:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 399

You deserved it 7 429

By recordyear - 09/08/2011 07:32 - United States

Today, I was at work with my dad. He told me the only reason he's letting me work with him over the summer is because I'm a friendless loser, and he didn't want me staying home getting fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 817

You deserved it 7 484

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 15:24 - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 807

You deserved it 4 820

Never go public

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 20:00

Today, I learned to keep your posts private on social media. Your boss might find your Facebook status updates saying, “I hate this shitty 9-5, I want to be on a beach with a margarita.” I got a call from him saying, “You’re terminated from the shitty 9-5, so you don’t have to anymore. Enjoy the beach!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 2 158

By Anonymous - 04/01/2010 15:49 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 223

You deserved it 7 866

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 18:01 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, my grandmother passed away recently, and I moved in with my mother to support her. My two uncles and my cousin (a technician, photographer, and a theologist) who are in a joint venture wanted to discuss business. I felt like a loser, waiting in the other room, while they sat in my Management Consultancy office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 98

By walker - 06/07/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 581

You deserved it 4 888

By Anonymous - 20/01/2010 16:17 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 573

You deserved it 4 457

By SowhatshouldIdo - 16/05/2017 05:00 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, I handed in my resignation letter after over 3 and a half years working at the company. My manager is angry with me, since we returned from an overseas business trip yesterday and why didn't I inform her before the trip. She now wants me to pay all costs of trip before leaving the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 930

You deserved it 1 197

MVP

By Darren - 31/08/2020 04:01 - Australia - Greenacre

Today, during my second shift back at work after missing 4 weeks for knee surgery, I stabbed myself in the hand and now need 3 weeks off for that surgery. Just as I'm up for a promotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 303

By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 23:59 - United States

Today, while browsing YouTube, I looked at the section "Recommended for You." I saw a video titled "How to get a girlfriend." Even YouTube thinks I can't get one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 034

You deserved it 5 464

By Anonymous - 27/05/2009 16:18 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend who lives in China contacted me and told me she'd been harassed by a guy and was thinking about pressing charges. The guy is someone I know from college - he promised me he would say "hi" to her for me while he was in Shanghai. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 052

You deserved it 5 229

By coldasfire - 29/03/2015 21:18 - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 356

You deserved it 2 462

By mustachio101 - 17/07/2012 23:30 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 606

You deserved it 57 494

By bigmistake - 24/12/2011 03:22 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 079

You deserved it 17 920

By mississpissi - 14/07/2015 12:00 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 969

You deserved it 1 929

Tracked

By bitch - 27/08/2020 08:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that on the calendar in my boyfriend’s apartment, for every week of the months when I have my period are coloured in red and over them, in block capitals, he has written 'BEWARE'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 708

Alexa, play "Guess I'm Dumb" by Glen Campbell

By nasuma - 11/10/2019 20:00

Today, I took a legitimate IQ test and got a score of 80. My parents both have IQ scores above Einstein’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 274

Inspired

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 06:24 - France

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 488

You deserved it 22 271

By Nursr187 - 21/01/2018 15:00

Today, my wife asked me to back up all the photos and videos from our desktop computer so I synced it with my Google account. Every graphic picture and video my wife and I have ever exchanged was sent to all 3 of our children's tablets. My daughter cried all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 027

You deserved it 5 995

By Tiffer27 - 25/01/2016 18:02 - United States

Today, I went to a very important job interview. I was so nervous that I passed out right in front of the interviewer's desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 398

You deserved it 2 429

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Top comments

kibster9 20

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Monday 19 October 2015 23:01

The bunny discovered that electricity is quite shocking

smileyemsen 19

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Monday 19 October 2015 22:50

Poor little bunny :(

smileyemsen 19

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Monday 19 October 2015 22:50

Poor little bunny :(

MasterTron 24

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Tuesday 20 October 2015 0:05

I guess we know who is not going to be the next energizer bunny

beefsupreme78 16

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Tuesday 20 October 2015 0:32

It seems to me like we just found out.

airforce987 20

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Monday 19 October 2015 22:50

I'm sorry, that's hare-ible.

Rinat_fml 26

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Monday 19 October 2015 23:16

Wish I could say the same about your pun!

HoboRain 15

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Monday 19 October 2015 23:58

But it is.....

higgysaurus 18

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Tuesday 20 October 2015 1:17

would t-rabbit-sty work better? Its a stretch I know

heftysmash253 6

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Tuesday 20 October 2015 23:48

Maybe it's in-hare-ably tragic, just like #2's attempt.

DaRito 25

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Monday 19 October 2015 22:53

This is extremely saddening

nityasomaiya 46

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Tuesday 20 October 2015 10:17

Are you sure it escaped...and nothing else? o_O

Anti_Sora 31

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Monday 19 October 2015 22:53

Op I hope you didn't get attached to that bunny really fast because I remember gerbils doing the same.

xx000o 27

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Tuesday 20 October 2015 12:30

Welsh rarebit pairs wonderfully with a nice burgundy.

Bgreen94 12

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Monday 19 October 2015 22:54

FYL

DogeDogeDoge 13

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Monday 19 October 2015 23:16

There's a button for that.

laxtax 19

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Monday 19 October 2015 22:58

That bunny was a sleeper cell

Attackofthebeans 14

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Monday 19 October 2015 22:59

well i hink ive done enogh reafing for one day....

XxDanno316xX 27

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Monday 19 October 2015 23:28

And typing.

Lalala579121 27

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Monday 19 October 2015 23:29

Done enough reefer for one day, maybe.

aimbug 42

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Tuesday 20 October 2015 0:43

Time to work on spelling! (:

kibster9 20

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Monday 19 October 2015 23:01

The bunny discovered that electricity is quite shocking

TacoPeps 14

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Tuesday 20 October 2015 5:17

This is not the time for puns

metalhead4740 14

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Tuesday 20 October 2015 8:19

Jesus that was savage

APHPrussia 19

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Tuesday 20 October 2015 18:33

Very savage but amazing all the same.

SexyQueen0905 24

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Monday 19 October 2015 23:01

Aaaand now I'm depressed for the rest of the day.

Lalala579121 27

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Monday 19 October 2015 23:32

Time to go watch Bambi and Old Yeller.

Myo_fml 20

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Tuesday 20 October 2015 0:33

And Fox and the Hound.

Violenna 14

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Thursday 22 October 2015 4:12

And read Hachiko and Where the Red Fern Grows for good measure.

Tripartita 44

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Monday 19 October 2015 23:02

I'm sorry, OP. This happened to me once. The wires just looked so tasty…

Nearly

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 4

Today, I realized the cute girl with a nice ass, long hair and a great personality I've been talking to is actually a very gay dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 44

Spicy

Today, I had a horrible date with this guy I’ve been seeing. He wanted me to give it up, but I wasn’t ready, so he dumped me on the spot. I went home crying to my mother and her response was, “Stop being such a prude! What are you? Ten? Grow the fuck up!” Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 161

Today, my wife and I had arranged a threesome with a guy, but I was late home so they “had the threesome without me.” It’s not cheating, because I obviously knew she was going to have sex with him during the threesome, but me not being there makes me mad and I can’t coherently explain why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 1 290

Pile on

Never go public

Don't mind me

MVP

Tracked

Alexa, play "Guess I'm Dumb" by Glen Campbell

Inspired

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