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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (2649)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my varsity swim team got second place in the State meet. My coach said I could bring the trophy home for the weekend. On the way home, I accidentally sat on it and broke it, cutting my butt. FML

#13319257
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10536) - you deserved it (34443)

On 10/04/2010 at 6:11pm - misc - by kat101 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74280) - you deserved it (8326)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my ex-girlfriend was having lunch with my parents. Believing she was in love with me and feeling the same, I dropped by. My parents told me that she’s their friend and that she has a boyfriend that they approve of, all while telling me I was never good enough for her. FML

#13318018
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34608) - you deserved it (4623)

On 10/04/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML

#13317207
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24632) - you deserved it (50984)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I missed my history exam because they'd changed the day. Apparently they sent out an email to let everyone know. Too bad I'd banned myself from the internet in order to study for the exam. FML

#13314602
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32871) - you deserved it (9501)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my roommate who stays out til 4 or 5 in the morning each night got her key to the dorm fixed. I've been having to stay up nightly to let her in (my normal bedtime being 12:00) How'd they fix it? Turns out it was never broken she was just putting the key in the slot wrong. FML

#13313865
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26628) - you deserved it (4167)

On 10/04/2010 at 4:24am - misc - by megmo7 - United States

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

#13313277
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29081) - you deserved it (3474)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:46am - misc - by screwthewilderness (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML

#13313177
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39658) - you deserved it (2904)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:37am - money - by melean (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

#13312784
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33619) - you deserved it (5112)

On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

#13311710
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57541) - you deserved it (5996)

On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML

#13310040
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7738) - you deserved it (46450)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:10pm - misc - by 2234 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was coming out of my work and a group of guys yelled, "Oh shoot girl!" and I blew them a kiss jokingly, then as I walked down the street, cars were honking at me, guys whistling. When I got home I noticed the foot long rip down my pencil skirt. FML

#13309990
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11107) - you deserved it (26760)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by ohshootgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

SirWhatsHisFace's comment : OP you shouldn't wear skirts made of pencils, you could stab your thighs. :o

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