Miscellaneous: Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail...

By neige - 24/02/2009 00:29 - Sweden

Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only happen in the movies: if you slam the door, all the snow of the roof will fall on your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 95

Miscellaneous

Broken heart

Late term

Stress test

By somebody - 08/06/2012 23:13 - United States - Lexington Park

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 288

You deserved it 2 066

By SlowPacker - 09/03/2016 07:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my family informed me that we were going on a 10 hour road trip to my cousin's wedding. They only decided to tell me 45 minutes before we left for said road trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 706

You deserved it 1 448

By disgustedgf - 28/06/2011 07:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 860

You deserved it 8 733

By AboutToBeHomeless - 03/11/2016 13:16

Today, I received a letter from my landlord's attorney. It said my landlord is terminating my "verbal" lease with him. Ten years ago, the deal began as rent to own. My landlord is my grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 829

You deserved it 726

By Noname - 14/03/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 407

You deserved it 212 756

By 733yoda - 28/06/2019 00:30

Today, the most exciting notification I received was Amazon telling me that my bulk order of toilet paper had been shipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 421

You deserved it 251

By 2ndchoice - 12/12/2009 15:47 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 878

You deserved it 2 906

By sister of an angry nerd - 23/12/2015 06:09

Today, I went to see Star Wars with my brother. The entire time he talked about how scientifically inaccurate and improbable the entire movie was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 305

You deserved it 3 147

By DarkPain - 22/01/2009 12:45 - United States

Today, I work for a boss who does everything he can to singlehandedly ruin our company and drive us into the ground. I just got an e-mail from him saying I need to be a more positive and energetic role-model for our team. Pot… meet Kettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 262

You deserved it 2 437

By The Towel Molester - 26/01/2012 14:49 - Australia

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 343

You deserved it 3 262

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 22:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 572

You deserved it 2 771

By leprechaun23 - 23/04/2012 04:21 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 234

You deserved it 4 297

Caught red-handed

By Anonymous - 20/05/2020 17:00

Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 448

Heavenly Shower

By deadgrass - 29/03/2012 00:44 - United States - Middletown

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 627

You deserved it 1 937

By wellthisisawkward80 - 06/11/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 555

You deserved it 17 916

By screwed - 20/03/2014 21:03 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 166

You deserved it 69 804

By Fmycatslife - 26/07/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, I got my cat stuffed after her death. I brought her home and set her down by my couch. I guess my dog thought it was a new chew toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 831

You deserved it 78 093

By carpetoops - 21/06/2009 16:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I spilt purple washing detergent all over my white carpet. Desperate to get it up I grabbed a blue towel and started mopping it up. The detergent hasn't stained the carpet at all, the blue dye from the towel has. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 802

You deserved it 35 485

By TrolleyCollector - 13/05/2016 09:10 - Australia - Seymour

Today, at work, the shopping carts have coin locks on them so people put them back or don't go stealing them. A lady couldn't find a coin, so I unlocked one with my key and said to her, "It doesn't look like you will run off and steal it" as a joke. She replied, "I can't run darling, I have an artificial leg." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 120

You deserved it 1 986

By Anonymous - 12/03/2010 16:55 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 964

You deserved it 31 312

Yeah, that's the same

By Iabnysmwytm - 29/07/2020 14:01

Today, we were talking about discrimination. I shared my story of being denied housing and a job offer because I'm trans. Some doofus tried to compare it to the time he was denied a car loan due to not having credit history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 655

By Happy Birthday - 10/07/2018 15:00

Today, my Dad gave me my birthday card. The envelope was blank, as was the card, and the £0.25 price tag was still on. He was fully aware of all these things, but handed it to me and said, "By the way, I didn't write anything." Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 506

You deserved it 234

By Joanne - 24/02/2012 13:26 - Australia

Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 182

You deserved it 3 410

Everyone's an expert

By yaa - 17/04/2020 17:00

Today, my sister's husband, who's never even been to college let alone medical school, told me that my cancer is not hereditary, despite a deep family history. He instead swears it's due to my "poor lifestyle and eating habits." Mind you, he's a 300 lbs, fall-down drunk with multiple DUIs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 975

You deserved it 150

By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 11:48 - United States

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 895

You deserved it 50 796

By sportskidguru - 01/02/2009 14:41 - United States

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 514

You deserved it 3 674

By Nick - 13/05/2009 22:20 - United States

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 277

You deserved it 37 504

Still waiting on Q

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 08:01

Today, I’m married to a man who thought Trump had several good ideas but just went about it the wrong way, but he’s sure he’ll do better next time when he takes the White House back from Biden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 659

By Waheyyy - 07/09/2009 19:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 115

You deserved it 7 976

By Anonymous - 02/01/2011 18:22 - United Kingdom

Today, several family members, including my mum, deleted me from Facebook in a concerted show of contempt. Apparently, I just can't shut up about World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 070

You deserved it 51 464

By Bawsack - 22/11/2016 09:45 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I missed an important meeting at work because I was vomiting from painful cramps. Just last week I was recommending that everyone get the implant because I hadn't had symptoms in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 609

You deserved it 1 317

By Jon - 02/04/2011 16:44 - United States

Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 144

You deserved it 3 448

By jewel87 - 12/03/2010 16:39 - United States

Today, I decided to wear my Ugg boots to work. I forgot that my office is carpeted and that the fur in my boots makes me shock every metal thing I touch. I work with computers all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 762

You deserved it 35 919

By quirrus - 07/05/2012 09:42 - United States

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 856

You deserved it 9 780

By Repethetic - 02/04/2015 12:20 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 726

You deserved it 4 804

By queenbitch - 20/04/2015 01:39 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 848

You deserved it 30 574

By Anonymous - 14/07/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 610

You deserved it 6 211

By cheesfactor - 19/05/2012 19:50 - Bulgaria - Rousse

Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 870

You deserved it 2 360

By Unknown - 07/02/2014 14:18 - United States - Lamoni

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 470

You deserved it 21 273

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 209

You deserved it 2 889

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Top comments

ssnow_fml 20

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Friday 6 May 2016 12:16

This is why your mom always told you not to slam the door.

Lepidop 18

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Friday 6 May 2016 12:38

Omg lmao that really sucks but it's pretty funny. In Canada they have special roofs for snow so even though I live 3/4 of the year in snow it has never happened to me.

Comments

ssnow_fml 20

Send a private message

Friday 6 May 2016 12:16

This is why your mom always told you not to slam the door.

Lepidop 18

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Friday 6 May 2016 12:38

Omg lmao that really sucks but it's pretty funny. In Canada they have special roofs for snow so even though I live 3/4 of the year in snow it has never happened to me.

rockey44 16

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Saturday 7 May 2016 4:01

Canada eh

Goblin182 26

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Friday 6 May 2016 13:05

That's funny right there, I don't care who you are.

Joshwarrior 39

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Friday 6 May 2016 13:52

You deserved it. (no offense op just their isn't a button to push anymore). A hot chocolate and blanket when you get inside will solve your problem though.