Love: Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where... - FML

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

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How to make a sociopath

The grudge

Harsh

By fmltom - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML

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By danggit3290 - United States

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

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By goinginsane

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/3/2020 08:00

Money Money Money

Today, as I was coming out of McDonald's, there was a street musician playing outside. He had his saxophone case open for money. I meant to give him a ten, and it wasn't until I got home later that I realized I'd accidentally given him a hundred-dollar bill. FML

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By a faint recollection - United States - Goshen

Today, while at a trampoline park, my time of the month and my out-of-shape body worked together to make me almost pass out. FML

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By Divorcemenow - United States

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Calhan

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

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By zazadudu - France

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

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By ohIlike - Australia

Today, after thirteen years of engagement, my fiancé and I split. As is, with the day, we changed our facebook relationships to make it official. I logged back on tonight to find his mother, the woman I've spent the last year looking after and having a good time, 'liking' the break up. FML

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By seeminglyunsexy - United States

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

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By BasicallySodaFlavoredWater - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents decided that the best way to save money was to dilute everything we drank with water. Only one more year of watered down soda and juice to go. FML

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By jonh_215 - United States

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - East Northport

Today, I was unaware that me losing my virginity was also breakup sex. FML

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By mook - United States

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Arlington Heights

Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML

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By ummPORQUE - United States

Today, I found out that the guy i've been having sex with for over a month didn't know my name until today. No wonder he always ever called me 'baby.' FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the girl I've been in love with for a long while got back together with her ex boyfriend because he had confessed his true feelings to her through a note in her locker. It was my note. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Troy

Today, my parents finally fulfilled my wish of a pet that I could take care of for a few years. They got a parrot. I guess 75 years or more is a few years to my parents. FML

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By ForeverAlone - United States - O Fallon

Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML

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By GingerJ - United Kingdom

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

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By hakura madada - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

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By I miss bread - 14/12/2020 17:04 - Australia - Brisbane

Pile on

Today, I found out I'm going to be celebrating New Year's with a gastroscopy and colonoscopy. It's been two days since I discovered I'm gluten intolerant to go with my lactose intolerance. It's also my 28th birthday tomorrow. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

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By - France

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/8/2020 14:02

Sewer monster

Today, I realized my morbidly obese sibling's favorite bathroom to use is whichever one is closest to me during the day. Three floors of living space and the monster wants to drop a nuke where the odors are certain to waft to my nose three times a day. Every. Single. Day. FML

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By RIP_Nose - Germany - Aidenbach

Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML

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By thatgirl - United States

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

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By mr_dinzaster

Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML

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By Varnpike

Today, I was messaging memes back and forth with one of my female coworkers and I accidentally sent a junk pic. FML

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By sayno2mermaids - United States - Denver

Today, I set my beer on the windowsill while I made space for it on the table. Suddenly, the wind knocked the window open. Into my beer. Into a box of expensive electronics. It was the last beer. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

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By Alex - United States - Richardson

Today, I am home sick with a sinus infection. I had to break up a fight between my two dogs over who got to chew on my snotty tissue. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, as I was using the public restroom in the mall, someone decided to slam the stall door next to mine. This resulted in my stall door opening while I was still on the toilet. The door was too far for me to reach. FML

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By kraussy - United States

Today, I went to the eye doctor and they used dilating eye-drops on me. After I left, my vision was still pretty blurry. I walked to the subway and when I went to step onto the train, I missed and my whole left leg got stuck in the gap. The train was delayed 10 minutes because of me. FML

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By gleefan116 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML

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By WhatALoserAmI - India - Bhopal

Today, an old friend of mine refused to go to a movie with me. Turns out he was sitting in front of me with my girlfriend. FML

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By Crys - Canada - Kingston

Today, I decided to finish up some Christmas shopping. Instead, I ended up having to buy a present for myself - a new alternator after my car died and left me stranded. FML

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Top comments

By DollyMolly | 0

#276529 - Saturday 6 June 2009 22:56

Never break up with him.

By JennyyBennyy | 0

#276554 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:01

this could be illegal.

COMMENTS

By DollyMolly | 0

#276529 - Saturday 6 June 2009 22:56

Never break up with him.

Reply

AbscenceOfLuck | 0

#873051 - Friday 19 February 2010 20:30

What did you say the website was called? lol

Reply

nosedive1994 | 0

#980700 - Saturday 17 April 2010 1:39

probably not a good idea to break up with him...

Reply

Itzy02 | 0

#1007473 - Wednesday 26 May 2010 5:15

lol. agreed.

Reply

quackbuzzwoof | 0

#1350483 - Saturday 4 September 2010 15:42

that's illegal so once you break up with him you can just tell the cops and he'll be fucked.

Reply

itaimumwiro | 8

#2633011 - Monday 6 June 2011 22:49

fuc u

Reply

ArentICute | 0

#2875505 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 17:54

Or, why don't you act all crazy until HE breaks up with YOU. That way he won't need revenge.

Reply

xXxXxMasonxXxXx | 7

#2904716 - Saturday 16 July 2011 8:23

he'd prolly still take revenge for her acting crazy...

Reply

nightslayer | 6

#4265352 - Friday 6 April 2012 7:08

Sounds like hunter moore kinda lol

Reply

guyfawke | 5

#4645043 - Tuesday 3 July 2012 7:51

which one of those kind of sites is it? I think there are a few

Reply

KtKD54 | 2

#4674375 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 2:02

Well, u know, if no one shared nude pictures, then this wouldnt be a problem

Reply

sawuuhcat | 11

#5087953 - Saturday 27 October 2012 17:35

I totally agree KtKD54; just don't send nudes!

Reply

CoGhostRider | 31

#5611049 - Saturday 3 August 2013 9:22

I don't think it works like that lol

By ryan__h | 1

#276532 - Saturday 6 June 2009 22:57

haha
lol #1

By happygoluckyhh | 0

#276541 - Saturday 6 June 2009 22:59

What website?
NUBMER 2!! XD

By cobra946 | 0

#276548 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:00

lol @ #1

By rejectedbeauty | 0

#276549 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:00

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

KrazyKatz3 | 26

#7521944 - Friday 4 August 2017 18:57

That's illegal...

By U_idiot | 1

#276551 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:00

LOL! Don't let him get a hold of any pictures of you haha.

By JennyyBennyy | 0

#276554 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:01

this could be illegal.

By Purane2forever | 0

#276555 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:01

Im on one of those.. but i put my self because i have a fat who know what.... wink wink ladies

Reply

babycourt11 | 0

#971664 - Wednesday 31 March 2010 5:43

hey:)

Reply

dezzybaby | 0

#2116799 - Thursday 24 February 2011 3:37

nobody cares and if youre advertising then its not true (:

By ryanr21 | 0

#276557 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:01

Hes a mover and a shaker! thats not a bad idea! haha

By moonmask | 0

#276564 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:03

I agree w/ #8, that's violation of privacy and probably illegal.

Reply

alishous | 8

#4106188 - Wednesday 29 February 2012 18:01

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

MaydayParadexx | 18

#6266372 - Saturday 18 April 2015 20:22

#302, no it's not. You cannot share nude pictures of someone without their consent. And for all we know, the girls on the site could be under 18.