Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where... - FML

By Anonymous - 6/6/2009 16:01 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

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Social distancing gone wrong

Incognito browsing

Gas giant

By Anonymous - 2/1/2014 05:14 - United States - Stockbridge

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

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By Gameless Guy - 24/12/2009 15:49 - United States

Today, I learned just how much change a toddler can stuff in to a Nintendo Wii. I also learned that those things are put together with special screws. FML

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By homelessagain - 18/2/2017 06:00 - United States - Lorain

Sue! SUE!

Today, I found out, through Facebook, that my landlord hadn't been paying the mortgage on the house I'm renting from him. It's going into foreclosure. FML

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By Pissed.Off.Mom. - 6/10/2016 05:14 - United States - Houston

Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/3/2020 00:01 - United States

Don't let the bastards grind you down

Today, I heard a radio ad for the new anti-bullying efforts at a local middle school. The speaker in the ad was the school counselor… who was also my bully in high school. FML

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By heycutie - 15/4/2014 04:24 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

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By fuck the man-dominated construction business - 19/6/2013 16:18 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on, I jumped into my car to drive home, but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guess who's going to hear virginal jokes about women drivers from now on. FML

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By thebiteof87 - 22/7/2015 06:32 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was reading a picture storybook to a kindergarten kid. She could pronounce more words than me, and corrected me. I'm about triple her age. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/6/2012 10:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I got really bored at work. I decided to spin myself around and around in my chair until I got really dizzy. Apparently my boss decided to start watching me do this while I was in mid-spin. FML

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By Jeff - 15/7/2014 20:37 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

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By fatguyinalittlecoat - 8/12/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 18:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/5/2020 17:00

Tonight, on Asshole Bosses…

Today, my boss gave me attitude for not going to back to work this Friday. I'm a massage therapist and where I live, it's currently illegal to practice during the pandemic. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/7/2015 01:50 - United States - Schenectady

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

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By nurse - 13/9/2019 02:01 - Norway

Boing!

Today, I was giving a patient an injection when I heard a cracking sound and the needle was gone. Panicking, I got a doctor to have a look. The patient was sent to have x-rays to find the needle in her thigh. I then noticed the springback system in the syringe. FML

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By messyfamily - 19/9/2010 07:31 - Australia

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

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By feel so dirty - 11/1/2018 09:00

Today, I asked my husband when he first knew he loved me. He replied, totally honestly, that I was the easiest girl he'd ever managed to talk into a one night stand, only instead of doing the walk of shame the next morning, I stayed so long we ended up married with kids. FML

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By duh - 27/1/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, I sang the itsy bitsy spider song with a class of thirty 20 somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/6/2020 23:00

Sibling rivalry

Today, I found out my dad gets my younger brother a Big Gulp from 7/11 every time he mows the yard. I mowed for three years straight and never got anything. FML

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By Redhead - 22/8/2018 06:00

Today, I decided to get in the cowgirl position since it's my fiancé's favorite. I got a little carried away during the "ride" and suddenly heard his dick crack. I fractured his penis. He's never going to have sex with me again. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/7/2014 01:20 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML

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By Alex - 1/3/2019 16:00

Today, marks three weeks since I started my new dream job. It also marks the second time this week alone that I've clogged the toilet in the restroom. I'm almost 100% sure all my coworkers know it was me. FML

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By :( - 14/6/2013 04:06 - United States - Parker

Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/2/2017 06:00 - United States - Frederick

Today, I didn't think getting egged was a thing anymore until I found that my car got egged. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/8/2020 20:02

Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to

Today, during a deep conversation with my girlfriend of 6 months, I asked her if the guy she had cheated on me once with a few months back had a bigger “tool” than me. She said yes. So I asked, "How much bigger are we talking about?" Her response was "Probably like twice the size." FML

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By rastamerican - 7/11/2012 01:29 - United States - San Jose

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

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By Noname - 22/1/2009 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a mailer from Adam and Eve with a bunch of hard core porn ads inside. I have been getting these since i ordered a Pirate porn video a few months ago. I was gone for a few weeks overseas. My mother-in-law was getting the mail. FML

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By ILoveLamps - 25/3/2015 06:26 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/2/2016 12:37 - Australia - West End

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/2/2012 08:01 - United States

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

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By Username - 23/12/2010 10:50

Today, I asked a girl I liked what she was doing tomorrow night. She replied, "Cleaning, so nothing really." I then asked her out to dinner. She declined. FML

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By The_Rest_of_the_Story - 14/12/2013 06:38 - United States - Effingham

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

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By CPN - 14/3/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/9/2020 13:58

My new friend

Today, I realized at the train station that every day for a month, I've been waving to a cardboard cut-out of a person in the morning. I thought they were real. They're cardboard. FML

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By Peach - 2/3/2012 05:46 - United States

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

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By - 29/11/2019 20:00

Last act

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

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By WelcomeWagon - 28/6/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML

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By sourcandy013 - 21/11/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my 11 year old sister deleted me off Facebook because I'm not "cool enough" to be seen on her profile. FML

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By justmyluck25 - 23/7/2010 12:59 - United States

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/11/2012 17:01 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

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Top comments

By DollyMolly | 0

#276529 - Saturday 6 June 2009 22:56

Never break up with him.

By JennyyBennyy | 0

#276554 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:01

this could be illegal.

COMMENTS

By DollyMolly | 0

#276529 - Saturday 6 June 2009 22:56

Never break up with him.

Reply

AbscenceOfLuck | 0

#873051 - Friday 19 February 2010 20:30

What did you say the website was called? lol

Reply

nosedive1994 | 0

#980700 - Saturday 17 April 2010 1:39

probably not a good idea to break up with him...

Reply

Itzy02 | 0

#1007473 - Wednesday 26 May 2010 5:15

lol. agreed.

Reply

quackbuzzwoof | 0

#1350483 - Saturday 4 September 2010 15:42

that's illegal so once you break up with him you can just tell the cops and he'll be fucked.

Reply

itaimumwiro | 8

#2633011 - Monday 6 June 2011 22:49

fuc u

Reply

ArentICute | 0

#2875505 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 17:54

Or, why don't you act all crazy until HE breaks up with YOU. That way he won't need revenge.

Reply

xXxXxMasonxXxXx | 7

#2904716 - Saturday 16 July 2011 8:23

he'd prolly still take revenge for her acting crazy...

Reply

nightslayer | 6

#4265352 - Friday 6 April 2012 7:08

Sounds like hunter moore kinda lol

Reply

guyfawke | 5

#4645043 - Tuesday 3 July 2012 7:51

which one of those kind of sites is it? I think there are a few

Reply

KtKD54 | 2

#4674375 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 2:02

Well, u know, if no one shared nude pictures, then this wouldnt be a problem

Reply

sawuuhcat | 11

#5087953 - Saturday 27 October 2012 17:35

I totally agree KtKD54; just don't send nudes!

Reply

CoGhostRider | 31

#5611049 - Saturday 3 August 2013 9:22

I don't think it works like that lol

By ryan__h | 1

#276532 - Saturday 6 June 2009 22:57

haha
lol #1

By happygoluckyhh | 0

#276541 - Saturday 6 June 2009 22:59

What website?
NUBMER 2!! XD

By cobra946 | 0

#276548 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:00

lol @ #1

By rejectedbeauty | 0

#276549 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:00

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

KrazyKatz3 | 26

#7521944 - Friday 4 August 2017 18:57

That's illegal...

By U_idiot | 1

#276551 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:00

LOL! Don't let him get a hold of any pictures of you haha.

By JennyyBennyy | 0

#276554 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:01

this could be illegal.

By Purane2forever | 0

#276555 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:01

Im on one of those.. but i put my self because i have a fat who know what.... wink wink ladies

Reply

babycourt11 | 0

#971664 - Wednesday 31 March 2010 5:43

hey:)

Reply

dezzybaby | 0

#2116799 - Thursday 24 February 2011 3:37

nobody cares and if youre advertising then its not true (:

By ryanr21 | 0

#276557 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:01

Hes a mover and a shaker! thats not a bad idea! haha

By moonmask | 0

#276564 - Saturday 6 June 2009 23:03

I agree w/ #8, that's violation of privacy and probably illegal.

Reply

alishous | 8

#4106188 - Wednesday 29 February 2012 18:01

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

MaydayParadexx | 18

#6266372 - Saturday 18 April 2015 20:22

#302, no it's not. You cannot share nude pictures of someone without their consent. And for all we know, the girls on the site could be under 18.