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Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

#13281486
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (3200)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19748) - you deserved it (44696)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

untoward's comment : well if your masturbating so much, probably no one is seeing your penis anyway

See all the comments →

Today, I decided to fix my bike and take it for a test ride. Five minutes in, a bee flew into my eye and stung me. In pain, I thought it would be best to go home. I turned around to find a big pitbull running towards me. The dog chased me for a mile before giving up. FML

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

#13276180
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25458) - you deserved it (2848)

On 10/01/2010 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML

#13275274
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12467) - you deserved it (34988)

On 10/01/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by northernlass - United States (Ohio)

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

#13274886
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27271) - you deserved it (31987)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30715) - you deserved it (5825)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML

#13274240
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27812) - you deserved it (11520)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that no one actually likes me as a friend. They only like me to get answers for school work. How did I find out? They were talking about it in front of me. Apparently I'm also invisible to them. FML

#13274150
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35336) - you deserved it (3601)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by DepressedKid - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML

#13274017
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30966) - you deserved it (4658)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by canispankthat - United States (California)

Today, the rain was pouring really hard outside. I found this out when it started raining on me at 4 am inside my dorm room. Thanks college. FML

#13273746
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (2378)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:04am - misc - by ohcollege - United States

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

#13273725
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44936) - you deserved it (4911)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

#13273584
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33937) - you deserved it (3578)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by T - Sent from mobile version



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