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Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

#4307488
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14986) - you deserved it (55920)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by unlucky (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

#4306475
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111309) - you deserved it (4307)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, out of the goodness of my heart, I went to work to help out a co-worker even though my last day was last week. I parked in a garage a block away for 2 hours. I paid $20 to park, didn't get paid, am spending $400 to get my back window replaced, and I have to buy a new iPod. FML

#4306015
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38313) - you deserved it (7137)

On 08/05/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by towelwindow (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

#4305194
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7027) - you deserved it (74618)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

#4304989
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49995) - you deserved it (8163)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by some_girl_19 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I left my brand new iPhone on the counter, and went to get its cleaning cloth. My grandmother saw a mosquito, and used my iPhone as a fly swatter. I now have a broken iPhone. Good news though: no more mosquito. FML

#4304295
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44155) - you deserved it (4703)

On 08/05/2009 at 7:04am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

netfreak's comment : Ahahahahahah owned.

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Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML

#4299529
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14840) - you deserved it (40212)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

#4299524
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17890) - you deserved it (37996)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn't want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn't understand. I didn't. FML

#4299271
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (50506)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that sitting in the back of your car from 8-9 p.m. talking with a friend in a park area is suspicious enough behavior to have cops called on you, then for backup to arrive. FML

#4299160
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33145) - you deserved it (4315)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by suspiciouspeople (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother found 100 bucks in his coat pocket. He was so happy he bought 2 new games for his x-box. He was borrowing my coat. FML

#4299043
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42809) - you deserved it (7438)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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