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Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29029) - you deserved it (2384)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML

Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML

#7974349
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25732) - you deserved it (3024)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm - work - by Ishii (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML

#7974279
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29997) - you deserved it (7538)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by jake (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a shower and the glass sliding door was jammed. I tugged it, and it shattered all over me. I was naked. FML

#7973705
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29099) - you deserved it (2556)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:32pm - misc - by mrmr - United States (Arizona)

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31923) - you deserved it (3122)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we had our friends over for dinner, one of whom is a psychiatrist. After a few drinks, my drunk wife and the equally drunk psychiatrist began to analyze my various character flaws. FML

#7969441
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22698) - you deserved it (2538)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by bystander (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML

#7968028
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (8453)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:21am - misc - by Mackdaddy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went out for dinner with some friends to a new restaurant. As I was finishing the soup, I noticed a small curly hair at the bottom of the soup. The chef is bald. FML

#7967999
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27996) - you deserved it (2154)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

#7967953
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32981) - you deserved it (3458)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:18am - work - by Ryan - Sent from mobile version

Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML

#7966871
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24539) - you deserved it (2200)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by wallbanger - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML

#7965104
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15990) - you deserved it (35211)

On 02/07/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by KiwiBlam (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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