Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 27 August 2012 07:29 / United States - Brockton

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

By masterman / Monday 27 August 2012 06:45 / Canada - Sherwood Park
By Betrayed - / Monday 27 August 2012 06:11 / United States
By damnit. - / Monday 27 August 2012 03:13 / United States - Saint Louis
By Anonymous / Monday 27 August 2012 02:56 / United States - Riverside
By Anonymous / Sunday 26 August 2012 23:39 / Canada - Mississauga
By unfucked - / Sunday 26 August 2012 23:18 / Australia - Mona Vale

Today, I'm so broke that I got buyer's remorse after buying a $2 bottle of pancake syrup. FML

By Tanuki_paws / Sunday 26 August 2012 21:05 / United States - Phoenix

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

By g'day cunt - / Sunday 26 August 2012 18:27 / Australia - Adelaide

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

By S. - / Sunday 26 August 2012 16:20 / Estonia
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