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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

#6953786
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (9279)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by creepyguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my family and I are driving down to France and it's going to take 4 hours. If that wasn't bad enough, my mum decides that she is going to listen to the CD my sister bought her for Christmas on repeat for the whole journey. It's Lady Gaga. FML

#6953630
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33768) - you deserved it (8568)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by OhGodKillMeNow (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML

#6952779
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25734) - you deserved it (2415)

On 12/26/2009 at 4:10am - misc - by mothapuka (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

#6952293
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17918) - you deserved it (3194)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

#6951563
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18081) - you deserved it (4375)

On 12/26/2009 at 2:22am - intimacy - by boyfriendisatoss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend went in to kiss me. He came in too aggressively and passionately and his front tooth knocked against mine. I am now missing a third of my right front tooth. Average cost for a dental crown? $900. FML

#6950494
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29908) - you deserved it (2739)

On 12/26/2009 at 1:10am - love - by Foam (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I have an Urinary Tract Infection, causing me to have to use the bathroom about every ten minutes. I'm also about to leave on a 15 hour car trip with my entire family. FML

#6949981
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31553) - you deserved it (2297)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:41am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad and I found in my house a water filter that has not been changed in over 20 years. We have been drinking that water that has been going through a filter that had more colors than a rainbow on it. FML

#6949871
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (8256)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by shithole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

#6949420
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39649) - you deserved it (2215)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML

#6947126
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22541) - you deserved it (2596)

On 12/25/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my Nana showed me her new sign that says, "Some of my greatest blessings call me Nana." We stood there looking at a wall FULL of pictures of her grandkids, which is where she wanted to hang it. After scanning the wall a couple times, I realized. There was not one picture of me. FML

#6946045
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25852) - you deserved it (2361)

On 12/25/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by weeble_wobbles09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was unloading things into a hotel. As I went to get a bag out in the hallway, the room door closed and I had no key. When I knocked and asked my family to let me back in, no one answered. The doors are clearly not soundproof. I could hear them debating whether or not to let me back in. FML

#6945734
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25495) - you deserved it (3604)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:50pm - misc - by RoxahTheGreat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19046) - you deserved it (2852)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)



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