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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while my friend and I signed the guest-book at a wedding, the drunk guy at our table stole my friend's painkillers and car keys before getting into a cab. Didn't need the painkillers, definitely needed the keys. FML

#13259965
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23668) - you deserved it (2749)

On 09/30/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by strandedguest (woman) - United States

Today, I changed all my plans, after months of him begging me to, so I could go to the same university as my long-term boyfriend. After I sent in my deposit, he told me we couldn't live together in college because I was "invading his space." FML

#13259314
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25728) - you deserved it (13576)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:31am - love - by stupidgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML

#13259037
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32801) - you deserved it (2543)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by Bestfrienduncool - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go to the bathroom. He said "Okay baby, go drop your load." He also used the same voice as when he talks to his cat. FML

#13257198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24030) - you deserved it (4280)

On 09/29/2010 at 11:17pm - animals - by peepee. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML

#13256903
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7823) - you deserved it (24674)

On 09/29/2010 at 10:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. How did I find out he wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML

#13252849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29745) - you deserved it (3146)

On 09/29/2010 at 7:04pm - money - by thankspops - United States (New York)

Today, I passed out at a party after having a few too many, as one does. I woke up with swastikas and penises drawn on my face with permanent marker. I now have to go home, using public transport, to my prudish, Jewish dad who thought I was at my friend's house for a sleepover with no alcohol. FML

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

#13252455
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26706) - you deserved it (3459)

On 09/29/2010 at 6:47pm - kids - by Mommy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML

#13251603
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23560) - you deserved it (3556)

On 09/29/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by bitter cherry - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

#13245639
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (6277)

On 09/29/2010 at 3:08am - misc - by blonde (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML

#13245431
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (4452)

On 09/29/2010 at 2:33am - work - by csor027 - United States (California)

Today, this guy I've been "seeing" for a year said he didn't want to share my birthday with me because he doesn't want us to get serious. FML

#13245354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27834) - you deserved it (3751)

On 09/29/2010 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18988) - you deserved it (42277)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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