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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend of two years said he would finally take me somewhere romantic. I spent my day at a Star Wars convention. FML

#7936771
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25293) - you deserved it (6296)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:29pm - love - by cherrycokeee - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43472) - you deserved it (2222)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (13715)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I received our gas bill for about £200. My flatmate felt that this was extortionate and therefore phoned up our gas company and angrily told them to recalculate the bill. They did. We now owe £300. FML

#7930001
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (4634)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, we had a NAT for our preparation for college. I did quite well and knew most of the answers. When I turned mine in, I realised I forgot to write my name. The proctor doesn't allow giving back test papers after it is turned in. And no, I can't retake it. FML

#7929962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11937) - you deserved it (27699)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:35am - misc - by stupidupid (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked to stand up and be introduced to a company director. I had a hard on. FML

#7928576
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15926) - you deserved it (5022)

On 02/06/2010 at 4:29am - intimacy - by Bacular (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML

#7927538
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26886) - you deserved it (5664)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:17am - misc - by Oops (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML

#7927518
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31145) - you deserved it (3592)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:15am - kids - by Misty3242 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML

#7925151
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20496) - you deserved it (5008)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by Karie-Rose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

#7925125
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you deserved it (3225)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:27am - animals - by btg - United States (California)

Today, during a basketball game, I fell into metal chairs which then decided to fold in, causing me to fall to the floor in a very dramatic and painful fall. When I stood up, so did everyone else and they were all clapping, including the other team. FML

#7925072
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20008) - you deserved it (2977)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:25am - health - by aurorason - Sent from mobile version

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

#7923613
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19268) - you deserved it (5274)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia

Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML

#7923030
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20786) - you deserved it (10267)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:12am - love - by snowman (man) - United States (Virginia)



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