Work: Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod...

By foretwintie - Canada

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

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74111

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Work

Doomed

Jonah begs to differ

Rock n Roll is a dirty business

By anon

Smells like Toddler Spirit

Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML

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5521

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364

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By Anonymous - 15/11/2020 08:08 - United States - Bakerville

Thanksgiving 2020 is going to be a doozy

Today, I'm stuck at my minimum wage job, listening to people who make twice as much as me complain that, "they only get the week off for Thanksgiving." FML

I agree, your life sucks

857

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By kal - United Kingdom

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

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34601

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6760

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Considerate boyfriend

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

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70645

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By feelthesting - Mexico - Aguascalientes

Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML

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25517

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By JubileeBee - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

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32260

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

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53860

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By JustSom - United States - Falls Church

Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML

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29348

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By Crissylove10 - United States

Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13085

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By ohsugarxo - United States

Today, I was at my only sister's wedding. She gave a speech about the person who means the most to her. She said, "She is my favorite sister who has always been there for me." Being her only sister, I got up to hug her. Turns out she was talking about her slutty sorority sister. Not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57214

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By Anonymous

Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3423

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199

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By Anonymous

Today, I learned something new. I knew that ripening apples release some kind of gas that affects other fruit. But I learned that apparently, it can also affect living plants. Meaning that if you keep a windfall of apples in the same room as a potted rose, the rose will die. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1285

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216

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40779

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2798

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By idiots - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42017

You deserved it

2760

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By miji

Today, for the fifth time in a row, my parents tried to discuss my pooping habits with me at the dinner table. This time, we had guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2799

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176

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By VoodooPriestess - 28/11/2020 14:02

What a catch

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years responded to my opening up about how I felt like I was always put on the back burner, was to ghost me for a week, and break up via text. Don't worry though, we can still be friends and maybe later, when he's ready, start the relationship again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

849

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153

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By keiler

She'll be single for a looong time...

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I play video games. No, not that I play too many video games or have an addiction to video games. Just that I play them, period. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3590

You deserved it

341

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By MyS3lf - United States

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32020

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3304

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By RightInTheFace - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML

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23454

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1870

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By Anonymous - Canada - Belle River

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

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43822

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By Anonymous - United States - Hudson Falls

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

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28841

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By Anonymous

C'est la langue de l'amour!

Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML

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2994

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434

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By morgie96 - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, on Facebook, all these parents posted photos of their child's last first day of high school, saying they were so proud as they left for senior year. It was my first day of senior year today, but my parents just gave me a high-five for not doing drugs. FML

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41967

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By RBHSWedgieGirl - United States

Today, while walking across campus, I stopped to look at my reflection in a window. I straightened my bra straps and then turned to the side to dig a wedgie out. It wasn't until I heard peals of laughter that I realized I couldn't see IN the classroom, but they could see OUT. FML

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14462

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By omnomnom - Canada

Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML

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35750

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By shatfjord - United States - Rochester

Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML

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42528

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By corn - United Kingdom

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

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41196

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By Nose Numb - United States

Today, for the first time ever, my family bought a real Christmas tree instead of using our old fake one. Today, I also found out I'm allergic to Christmas trees. My family won't get rid of it because they paid so much for it and intend to "get their money's worth". FML

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33233

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By Username - United States

Today, I used a fire extinguisher for the first time. Too bad it was on my car. FML

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30220

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By No thanks - United States

Today, I was called a bitch and "freaky as hell" because I don't like watermelon. I'm sorry, but just because I'm black doesn't mean I like watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14522

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1480

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By betterpianist - United States

Today, the girl I've liked for over a year, broke up with me after just 2 weeks of dating, all because I'm a better pianist then her. I've been playing since I was 8. She's been playing for 6 months. FML

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11344

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By Timeless - Canada

Today, I decided to brush up on my flirting skills and ask a guy I thought was kind of cute what time it was. He pointed to the very visible watch on my wrist and said "You should know already". FML

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9172

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By Loser - Canada

Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML

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By I hate nasty people - United States - South Bend

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

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25763

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By Anonymous - 22/11/2020 05:01 - Australia

Paranoia

Today, I offered help a customer to record his details, as he didn't have a scanner. He just stared at me, saying that he would never give any of his details if I typed them on my phone, as I could "do something else" without him knowing. He ended up canceling his orders and got upset on his way out. FML

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701

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By GEE, THANKS DAD - United States

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

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24310

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

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9794

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By Veryfunny - Australia

Today, I came back from a holiday and the friend who'd been looking after my cats returned my spare key. When I wanted to put some relaxing music on, I noticed that he'd switched most of my CDs around in their cases. I have over a thousand of them. Very funny, thanks. FML

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26289

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By sos - United States

Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27180

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By jake - United States

Today, I accidentally shaved part of my eyebrow. It now looks like I'm trying to raise one without moving the other. FML

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10715

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Top comments

By treli1593 | 0

#275251 - Saturday 6 June 2009 16:21

thats irony for you

By Dral_fml | 0

#275267 - Saturday 6 June 2009 16:24

that thief sure was brave.

COMMENTS

By treli1593 | 0

#275251 - Saturday 6 June 2009 16:21

thats irony for you

Philosophic | 0

#833590 - Monday 8 February 2010 5:30

It's OBVIOUSLY fake. Cops don't have time for iPods.. they have donuts instead....

abcnonamecba | 0

#925305 - Monday 8 March 2010 16:08

@154 EPIC WIN

ryguy997 | 0

#942953 - Saturday 13 March 2010 18:37

wow epic FAIL.

gomego87 | 0

#974350 - Monday 5 April 2010 9:33

How do you know it wasn't a ghost? huh!? huh!?... Oh..Ooh. Burn? What no. not burn.. Omfg screw this.

amd3lky | 0

#1024226 - Tuesday 8 June 2010 21:24

fail on your part

By lovely997 | 0

#275266 - Saturday 6 June 2009 16:24

Cops are all bad.

By Dral_fml | 0

#275267 - Saturday 6 June 2009 16:24

that thief sure was brave.

By musigreg | 0

#275268 - Saturday 6 June 2009 16:24

Lmfao, irony indeed.

By Button_x | 0

#275271 - Saturday 6 June 2009 16:24

AMGZ go to the police station, they'll help you recover it.

Oh wait.

(Lamejokeislame)

By fmlAllStar7274 | 0

#275274 - Saturday 6 June 2009 16:24

LOL- agree with #1 that sucks.....

Also, if u had a crap ipod- good excuse to get an iphone or ipod touch (which kick ass)

By kristenlee | 3

#275278 - Saturday 6 June 2009 16:25

...Don't you have a security camera in the police station?
And thats what you get for feeding the corporate giant that is iPod.
go with Sansa :D

ryguy997 | 0

#942962 - Saturday 13 March 2010 18:40

no, iPod is nota corporate giant, Apple is. and they deserve it. except for there software sucking. But imagine this: A MacBook pro running Windows!

blankaex | 0

#1182094 - Tuesday 3 August 2010 18:10

Uh, dude... You can run Windows on a Macbook...

By technobutterfly | 0

#275279 - Saturday 6 June 2009 16:25

Learn correct grammer.

ikickyourbutt | 9

#2515158 - Sunday 15 May 2011 20:30

Grammar Nazi!!!

bunny911 | 16

#4104497 - Wednesday 29 February 2012 7:27

Bieber Fan!!!
I'd rather befriend the grammar nazi, at least they have standards.

By NGM_KID | 0

#275283 - Saturday 6 June 2009 16:26

LOL, but yeah wouldn't you have a security camera there?

#8: learn to spell :P

fsebastianslife | 0

#967885 - Thursday 25 March 2010 12:44

^^^best picture ever!!!!^^^

By wilberp3 | 2

#275285 - Saturday 6 June 2009 16:26

I agree with #7 there has to be cameras