By SaMike - 01/09/2009 01:12 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 733
You deserved it 4 737

Same thing different taste

Top comments

.... Conservative.... but she has cleavage. For some reason, this annoys me. FYL though. Better luck next time? At least you have a funny story?


PaulWeller 0

I'm wondering how he explained that to her parents.

"Sorry, dude, but I was just snorting coke off your daughter's **** when. . ." That sounds like a good start.

cucuto89 0

OHH OHH let me get that for you. You coulda gotten to second base soo quick dude lol

StingMunFizzy 0

LOL Exactly what i was thinking Cucuto!

haha i said 'sexy' out loud right when i read it

dudeitsdanny 9

Hahahaha. I thought sexy, too. =P You could have made this into a special version of a strawberry shortcake ;D

my friend jokingly threw a stick at me. And I threw it back. It landed down her bra.

I believe the sneeze part, but the bloody/broken nose didn't happen.

if you've EVER seen a kung fu movie, you'll notice they hit the nose with open palms at a slightly upward angle... its because a nose breaks easily when hit up...into the skull dumbass troll speaks before knowing

danceoo 0

Kung Fu movies are ALWAYS a reliable source of information.

.... Conservative.... but she has cleavage. For some reason, this annoys me. FYL though. Better luck next time? At least you have a funny story?

Shadow_Phantom 26

I was about to say the same thing... Conservative+cleavage = wtf?

Almost sounds like the kind of girl to get a boob job then bitch when guys look, aha...

You think conservative women don't have breasts?

We are implying it is hypocritical of her to be showing off her breasts if she is conservative. If she doesn't want the attention, then she shouldn't "ask" for it. It has nothing to do with her actual boobs; I did not imply she had small or large breasts. I don't know where everyone is getting THAT from.

While I tend to agree with you, this scares me because it's too close to the "I raped her, but it's ok because her outfit said she wanted it" bullshit.

Oh that is bullshit, most definitely. I wasn't intending to imply on THAT kind of level... There is quite a difference between attention and harassment and rape. There are a couple "fun" people out there like that, though. Scary, ain't it?

Yeah, I know you weren't. It's just kind of touchy (not personally, but to anyone).

The OP never said the woman was showing off her breasts. Even a normal t-shirt, not even a tight fitting one) would make it possible to bleed between the poor woman's breasts.

Like I said below, though: "He wouldn't mention it if he couldn't see it. In other words, the cleavage had to be noticeable in some fashion so he could see the blood fall in it. =/" Otherwise, it would be "on her shirt" or "down her shirt" or "on her neck/collar" The t-shirt I'm wearing right now would make it the "on her shirt." It's not tight at all, but I wouldn't get blood between my breasts where he would actually point it out. And people don't tend to say "cleavage" if there is no cleavage.

the_stereotype 0

you know, even if it's not a cleavage shirt...his head was right above the shirt, so he could easily have seen down it from where he was. that's why he knows it went down her cleavage. anyway, i agree with someone else who posted. why would you just "give her" her first kiss, especially if she's conservative.

I think you're all getting way too into this....

@87: That means... she had cleavage. [facepalm] Or does cleavage not count as cleavage when it's only seen by people with heads above your chest? She was wearing a shirt loose enough to present cleavage, whether or not the design was intended for that. And like I said, most people wouldn't mention cleavage if there wasn't actually any visible cleavage. If cleavage is visible, it is almost always intentional.

Beef_Sister 0

lmfao i know ??? these people are retarded

seriously...i don't think how much cleavage she showed or didn't show is the bout the fact that there's blood down there...this debate about whether or not she really is conservative or just shy or not shy at all for Christ's sake could go on forever.....

iSwizzle 4

Anyone with boobs has cleavage. Just cause he manages to get blood down her shirt doesn't mean her boobs are out.

YoshiTimex3 0

awww poooor u 0: ... sad attempt ?

capgray 0

today, i accidentally sneezed right as my bf was going to give me first kiss. if the sneeze wast bad enough, i broke his nose and the blood went in my cleavage. fml

Lol. I agree with 3. Good story for the kids if you get married! FYL, try again?

inconvienentgurl 0

awwww u should have kissed her later to make her feel better n not like she probably is sorry but i feel worse 4 her(feelings wise ne way)... :( sorry bout ur nose though

How do you feel sorry for her? what you just said is pure feminist stupidity

Fake, how can your nose break and bleed from that. it will hurt but i doubt that really occurred. Also if your still going out on dates then she os not you gf yet. YDI

inconvienentgurl 0

ppl still go on dates w/ their gfs...they still call it that sometimes stop being a hater n get a gf urself...or at least some compasion >.> n if she hit him hard enough she possibly could of broke it...who knows. u weren't there. stop judgin

What? I was pretty certain that's what couples did: go on dates every now and then. I know there is a difference between pre-dating and being together officially, but you can still go on dates, you know. There's not some weird ban on dating once you decide you're a couple.

Heck, husbands and wives still go on dates! (... if they want their marriage to survive.)

#9, did you think before you posted that? I have an idea, why don't you go ram your face into a brick wall until your nose breaks? You can test your hypothesis that when the cartilage in your nose is broken you won't bleed. OR, you can take the word of people who may actually have some inkling of what they're talking about. But personal experience is often a better teacher. Just sayin'. OP: That sucks. Hopefully that didn't put her off for a second try. Good luck!

emilieee_fml 0

My nose is extremely sensitive, even sneezeing sometimes triggers a nose bleed, im not suprised his started bleeding...#9 your really an idiot...

Decs69 0

ouch, what would you do after in that situation!? :S

"...It's that moment when You start closing in First you're holding back Then surrendering It can start a fire Light up the sky Such a simple thing Do you wanna try? Are you ready to Say goodbye To all these blues? I wanna kiss a girl I wanna hold her tight And maybe make a little magic in the moonlight..."