Today, my coworker brought chocolate muffins to work for everyone. This would have been really nice if they hadn't tasted like rotten blueberry muffins spray-painted brown. I reflexively gagged after taking a bite and coughed up a brown mush in front of her. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML
Today, I made a small batch of cookies and took them to work. Mostly everyone took one, but nobody said anything until I asked how they were. Someone asked what my recipe was, because it tasted like I'd forgot to add sugar. I bit into one. I had. The cookies tasted like muddy mush. FML
Today, my workplace often leaves out "expired" food from the café that our department coincides with, as it is wasteful to throw away perfectly fine cuisine. I soon discovered that the inside of a seemingly normal looking cupcake was actually filled with mold when I took a large mouthful of it. FML
Today, to make a good impression, I brought in homemade blueberry muffins for my newish coworkers. Everyone loved them, up until the guy with a nut allergy had to be rushed to the hospital. Turns out my almond milk wasn’t as "nut-free" as I thought. Welcome to the team! FML
Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML
Today, I went to get food. I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and all of a sudden it got hard to breathe. I realized it was a blueberry muffin, and I'm deathly allergic to blueberries. I looked at my friend, and she was laughing, saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML
Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML
Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML
Today, I saw my boss heading my way at work. He has a "no food in the office" policy, so I quickly scarfed down my Pop-Tart. I ended up choking on it so hard that I threw up. FML
Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Sorry, I'm allergic to bad cooking."
sunnyray812 42
Though this sounds a bit farfetched, she might be trying to poison you and your co-workers. Wouldn't be too surprising knowing how insane some people can be. I think it would be worth reporting.
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Comments (7)
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Sorry, I'm allergic to bad cooking."
sunnyray812 42
Though this sounds a bit farfetched, she might be trying to poison you and your co-workers. Wouldn't be too surprising knowing how insane some people can be. I think it would be worth reporting.
RichardPencil 32
Hopefully, your coworkers saw you cough up the brown mush. The canary in the coal mine serves a valuable purpose of warning everyone about impending danger (or at least, yuckiness.)
MiracleKa 5
Someone should teach your coworker actual shit is not an appropriate substitute for eggs as a binding agent.
Sonotsuave 37
Been there before. I have a coworker who comes over to my house occasionally with dessert and sometimes bakes for our office and with all due respect her baking isn’t that good. It’s the thought that counts
darkshadus 10
just tell her that she is in charge of napkins from now on. that should prevent any future baking incidents