Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year-old guy. My boss is a 50 year-old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML
Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
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Top comments
Pb_lily 0
I don't know any 18 year old hot girls that would flash the loser holding a sign.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
Should wear a t-shirt saying "NO FAT CHICKS."
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Comments (156)
ClumsyJason 3
LMFAOOOO! FYL
sublime93 0
Boo-hoo, you didn't get to see ******* Your life is soooo ****** -_-
davidomke 0
I agre. OP, you're a prev
FuckMYIife 0
This was already posted. YDI.
iBimmer 0
"Lots of other employees shares stories" Shares? No wonder you're a sign spinner.
TysonFawlay 0
Yeah. Saying they shares stories surely disqualifies you from any job. =)
lubby_fml 0
You do know "S" is right next to "D" on a qwerty keyboard, right?
will90 5
#33 He did get to see *******! Just not the ones he wanted but, beggars can't be choosers right OP?
whoperlargefries 0
exactly. i do that all the time, everybody does. its called a TYPO and everyone makes them. cut the guy some slack and no, he doesn't deserv it, he doesn't get to ******* choose who flashes him! its a FML b/c everyone else got young hot girls flashing them, not overweight 45yr olds.
JustSoLost 8
LMAO! You deserved it pervert.
_Squall__fml 1
Oh he saw **** alright...just not the ones he thought he'd see.
twitchy315 0
bouncy bounce
truelyawesome 0
he's complaining about who he got flashed by, not what he did or didn't see. use your brain
depotst 0
WTF is a sign spinner anyway??? one of those people that stand on the corner of an intersection and hold a dominos sign or whatever?
tagedawg 0
yeah sublime soo true...thought it did sux 2 bd flashed by that 45 *shivers*
firefighter_mike 1
OP, I bet your parents are proud...
xyourstruly3 0
What A Great Start Of Your Day
AAAAHHHH12 2
And the point of all capital first letters being...?
dudeitsdanny 9
He/She never learned which words to capitalize in elementary school so he/she capitalizes all of them.
kitkatt978 5
imao so true. it makes it seem lime they are yelling at the beginning of every word.
bobchickenfart 5
Why Are You Typing Like This?
RJB 0
Uh yum.. :-(
p3kpek 0
woooo ! good thing she wasn't 75 years old eh ?
viral_fml 0
Go get laid.
angryseatroll 5
Hahaahaha. Thats gross
Intoxicunt 5
Be glad it wasn't a guy.
Intoxicunt 5
Haha. I was picturing someone...not so well-endowed. So, more like wiggled at.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
@ the man joke: "...Well the sunset better set soon So we can get in the mood Things start getting heated up When it starts getting cool yeah Summer nights Everybody are you with me? Let that igloo cooler mark your piece of paradise Summer nights Everybody`s feeling sexy Holler if you`re ready for some summer nights Come on..."
depotst 0
lol you say the cutest things, always makes me smile
Poocho 0
XD ah to get flashed lol
mccaincracker 6
More cushion for the pushin' my friend..FYL
cLaAaNdEsTiNe 0
hahaha i lol'd. was it like ben stiller at the end of "dodgeball" where he dances to milkshakes?
Intoxicunt 5
I scrolled down and just caught the words "dodgeball" and "milkshake". The mental image I got was pretty hilarious.