All the FMLs

Annonymous_Dad tells us more.

Annonymous_Dad 4

My dog IS trained. Generally, he just needs to be told "heel" or "quiet" and he obeys. However, ever since the baby has come home ( 3 weeks) hes gone into super protective mode. A car door slams and hes "killer guard dog". Its getting ridiculous and I do get exasperated when it happens multiple times within a half hour. He DOES listen when I yell, because its not something I have ever done with him. Afterwards, however, we go through the "heel" command and give treats. He just hasnt settled down yet! Maybe Ill just start yelling "Heel Killer!!" ( totally kidding, calm down, no more yelling for me)

vegas518 tells us more.

vegas518 7

First of all, I'm a woman... Not a man. So I'm most definitely not a mama's boy. My mom lives near by and she's older. I am the youngest as well. It's easier to say "stand up to her" or "grow some balls" - I've tried that and trust me... It's not worth the fight that happens afterward. Thanks for listening though.

QueenOrangeSoda tells us more.

QueenOrangeSoda 21

OP here! As one kid remarked, "That's a LOT of tape" and "But you're skinny!" If only he knew the whole thing. Yes, it was stupid, but when I took it off, I noticed that my fat was contained, and I looked thinner all day. Of course, no one deserves the pain of having it on or, even worse, removing it. (Those back hairs!) And let's not mention those blistering red marks. Still, it was worth the price. And no, I'm not fat or even chubby. I'm rather active--some would say hyper--and don't even eat that much in the first place. My weight and height are perfectly proportionate; I'm an average size. But since I'm not stick-skinny like my sisters, my family pesters me to lose weight. Besides, thinner girls at my school get more guys. I'd been sucking in for days, but I needed something to keep it that way. I sucked in when applying the duct tape, and since the fat couldn't get through its tight told, it looked as if my stomach were perfectly thin and flat. Sadly, some kids noticed and wondered why the heck my tummy was taped. I decided it wasn't worth the pain and I peeled it all off, awful pain and red marks included. I wish I could've cut it off; it would've been easier that way. After about halfway I excused myself to the bathroom to strip off the rest (the more painful parts) in a stall's confinement.

longsock123 tells us more.

longsock123 7

I mean, you're commenting on FML, I'm eating mayonnaise in a mall... the amount of "life" between the two of us is not very high.