My precious baby

By Anonymous - 08/11/2013 23:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 656
You deserved it 8 722

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So you get beat into submission by a pussy, I see nothing out of the ordinary here

ALL cats think like this. The difference between most cats and yours is that yours actually has the guts to go through with it.


So you get beat into submission by a pussy, I see nothing out of the ordinary here

Man I would of choked that cat by now lol

\ 28

I guess you could say he was.. Pussy-whipped. Bloodily.

CaiDog 20

16 umm... wow.

Ok, who else thought it was a woman at first? Anybody?

#44, that was why he worded it that way. Leads you to think its a woman then you find out its his cat.

I dont like cats but i like pudding.

\ 28

Alright, I admit that joke sucked. Lets just keep calm and and carry on and not beat a dead pussy.

Fucking love it hahah!!

Booda you've embarrassed yourself enough this week by making terrible terrible jokes to get likes on every FML. Just go.. Never comment again.

\ 28

#128 Challenge declined.

there are some plastic things you can put on his or her nails so it won't do anything to you or you can clip them so they for be sharp

I had some of those plastic things for my cat...I still have the thousand yard stare. If op's cat is that much of a bitch anyway, he should avoid those things like a plague.

The caps worked for my oldest cat but he scratched while playing, not out of meanness. I'm pretty sure a cat this mean wont hold still to get her claws clipped, but maybe a vet or groomer can do it for you. I'm not sure what the policy is for aggressive cats. On a related note, maybe you should try to find the cause of the aggression. a friend of mine had a cat that turned super agressive. I thought maybe she was hurting somehow and I was right. she had an awful ear infection. perhaps that is the case here...

Have fun trying to get those on.

oyemba 6

There's also a plastic bag where you can put the cat in and dig a hole. Its called "putting to sleep"

It's also called animal cruelty if there's no reason to do it (untreatable illness/injury, etc.) Oyemba, you are such a cruel person.

Hahahah 120! Best advice I've heard so far -jks but really just another reason to get a poodle or a Labrador or something cuddly ❤️

There are shelters.

90% of animals who enter shelters never leave.

This is why every dog my family has ever had, we adopted from a shelter. The cats just kind of show up. Lol. charmander jumped in my car, I took her home. Momo I found. Bucket was born outside of my house, the only survivor of 4. The mom was dropped off by some jerk. She disappeared though. And fluffer nutter was also dropped off. but she's gone now too.

Because an animal is aggressive, you turn it to a shelter? No. If an animal suddenly turns aggressive, there a cause to the aggression and it can be fixed. Many animals that enter shelters, even no kill shelters, are often sent to their doom to provide more room for other soon to come animals or because its been months and no one has adopted them.

#29 If it slashes people's faces on a regular basis, let's hope it doesn't.

All I was trying to say was that if he doesn't like the cat and no one will adopt him outright from him, then a shelter is the best option. I volunteer at a very respectable shelter that has plenty of cats adopted. We walk the dogs every hour or so, have play time with puppies, and have a bonding room for cats and kittens to be social with humans. So a shelter is not so bad, folks. Preconceived notions aside, I fully support shelters.

#117, because you work at a good shelter you belive they're all nice places?

Honey. I did not say that. Quit assuming my thoughts. Also, I don't *work* at the animal shelter, I *volunteer*. I just don't damn every shelter in the entire world because there are some less than par ones out there. If you are so dissatisfied with the animal conditions in your local shelter, go volunteer and help them in the right direction; or go to your city council and make a complaint.

Bottom line: lots of animal shelters suck, and chances are that OPs local one does, too. So placing the cat (which is used to human interaction and most likely a comfortable home) in a less than nice shelter where it will probably die is not actually the best option.

aquariusangel093 5

Get her declawed?

If you would ever suggest declawing you clearly don't know the first thing about it. It's already been banned completely in several countries due to how cruel it is.

CookieLovesBoo 16

It might sound like a good idea but declawing a cat causes the cat to re- learn to walk . And also it's not banned in as many states, country's as you think .

falon142012 22

It's actually amputating the ends of the fingers. After the last knuckle. Many cats that are declawed won't go in their litter boxes because it hurts them. They become angry a lot of the time. And it IS illegal almost everywhere EXCEPT the United States. That should tell you something. Don't declaw. Cats come with claws. If you can't accept that, don't have a cat.

It's legal in canada. And actually it's only illegal in about 22 countries. Which is far from being "almost everywhere"

falon142012 22

Well thanks for the information. But that's still a lot more than I assumed they ^ meant by "not as many as you think." That's still a lot, to me. It may only be against the law in 22 countries, but it's frowned upon in a lot of places I guess. That's why people I've talked to from other places say nobody does it. And if you think about it, America is supposed to be highly civilized, and we still do it here. Supposed to be…

falon142012 22

And also, I meant almost every cat-keeping place in the world has it banned. So THAT is what I meant by "almost everywhere." 22 countries may not seem like a lot in relation to how many there are in the world, but it does in relation to how many of them keep cats as pets!

It's false information saying that it's not preformed in countries because it's frowned upon. Just because a group of people don't believe on it doesn't mean everyone doesn't believe in it. It's true that a lot of people think it's inhumane but there are a lot of people who think it's perfectly fine but we usually only hear the opinions of the former. so really It might not be as frowned upon as it appears to be.

regardless of how frowned upon it really is, we've just been told the horrible effects it can have on cats. im pretty sure we can draw our own moral conclusion from that without needing reassurance from however many countries.

I think anyone who has their cats declawed should have their fingers chopped off. See if they still think its a good idea then.

Dusty_Busters 15

Haha I can't believe how dramatic you people who against having cats declawed are being. Op is is being consistently injured by this cat.

squideth 18

156 so rip off the cat's fingers? Oh no, something in my life is misbehaving, better mutilate it! Durr hurr. How about actually trying to see what is causing the problem, cats aren't fucking idiots and it's probably acting out because of a stress-related thing or something.

cryssycakesx3 22

you people act like they take a cleaver and lop off their fingers.

falon142012 22

205, they pretty much do. Did you miss the part where I said it is amputating after their last knuckle?

actually it's more humane they do not chop their fingers off. It's done with a lazer and they are asleep. the healing process is very fast. for all animal lovers here you should worry about what other countries do to "pets" because it's far from humane. I do a lot of animal rights and this is far from crul.

mpj13 8

... Oops I did it again

That is how they show their love.

You can always accidentally run her over... =D

Please never buy a pet

Declaw? Just don't walk around the house nude!

One, there's a reason people don't do that. Two, that makes no sense. It was the OP's face, not body, so you hace no idea if the OP was nude.

Declawing is illegal in most places.

ALL cats think like this. The difference between most cats and yours is that yours actually has the guts to go through with it.

or she must be really hungry !

My cat likes me. He's a Siamese though and they tend to form close bonds with their humans. I'm willing to bet OPs cat has had some kind of traumatic experience or they're in pain. Cats don't just attack things bigger than them for the hell of it.

OP's cat is obviously not a pussy. He has four fine legs and still walks with a limp.

Number 10, if all cats think like this why would they have a cat

olpally 32

Cats are fine if you train them right. Little devil bastards is what they are though. I'm never buying a cat. All these FML's about them are just awful. Lol.

falon142012 22

You'd never need to buy a cat anyway. There are thousands upon thousands in shelters. The best cat I've ever had in my whole life, I got from a shelter about 6 months ago. They know when you save them. They're grateful.

I have three of them and they're all absolute sweethearts who started out as sick, scared feral kittens. How you treat them makes all the difference.

CrazyGirlfriend 21

I had four cats! all of them are loving and caring. my female didnt like being around other cats so we ended up having to find a new home for her, with my parents thankfully. the rest are all fixed males. all four came off the streets. They always manager to make me stop crying when they come to me purring. I love cats!!