By Where is the faith in Humanity - 07/11/2013 23:08 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 319
You deserved it 9 020

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Yes... Your snake... Lets call it that.

What a wonderful first impression you've left, but who cares when you have your snake!


What a wonderful first impression you've left, but who cares when you have your snake!

unleash the wrath of your snake on your neighbors while shouting "i may need friends, but YOU NEED A HOSPITAL" then go back to playing with yourself

#20 That would really only work if they had a poisonous snake, or a really big snake. However if OP had a large constrictor the neighbor might need a black bag rather than a hospital.

I'm wondering if OP was referring to masturbation... tell me I'm not the only one who thought about this?

Snakes are amazing! Kudos to OP for loving their reptile.

#29 No, that was the first thing I thought. Though i re-read it again and realized he was talking about his actual snake.

Lol he didn't say trouser snake

Yes... Your snake... Lets call it that.

Does this "snake" only have one eye by any chance?

I chuckled on the bus at your comment for like five minutes and now I'm getting weird looks.

Play with your snake. I'm sure they'll look away.

Try not to pet your snake too much. Might squirt "venom" on

Set your snake on your jerk neighbors.

It won't work. Clearly they speak Parseltongue.

Yes tell Nagini to eliminate those muggles

God damn it.... !

The basilisk is going into the chamber of secrets!

All the basilisk wanted was to get stoned with some muggles, but nooo...

looks like you found a new friend

Are your neighbors snakes too?

Maybe you should listen to your neighbor. If anything else go make friends with him.

maybe your neighbors are sick of hearing you "playing with your snake" late at night ;)

haha FYL. But you have to admit its funny OP

I think maybe the neighbors want to be ur firend---to be close to ur snakes.

I thumbed you down before I even read your comment. I knew it would be bad because of your username

What a great first impression XD