Work: Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that...

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 01:46 - United States - Blythe

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 251

You deserved it 2 645

Work

Leave us alone

Dementia or hate? You decide

Get a vasectomy, dude

By fuck you, tasha - 24/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 190

You deserved it 8 606

By Ruby Lore - 20/07/2017 00:31

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 451

You deserved it 332

By Frustation - 30/07/2012 13:00 - United States

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 805

You deserved it 1 785

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 919

You deserved it 47 458

By foxownerapperantly - 07/06/2015 21:48 - Netherlands - Hoorn

Today, an old lady in public transport yelled at me and my dog, called me a liar, and threw her grape soda over me because according to her my pet Shiba Inu was actually a fox, and keeping foxes as pets is illegal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 719

You deserved it 1 806

By imeanreallytho - 11/09/2015 16:20 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom at work. The lock on the stall door broke, and I couldn't open it. I was all alone and I started having a mini panic attack. After several minutes of frantically trying to fix the lock and hyperventilating, I realized I could just crawl under the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 915

You deserved it 8 839

By sayno - 12/11/2010 11:06 - Switzerland

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 004

You deserved it 11 289

By sozzy - 07/07/2012 07:26 - United States - Aliso Viejo

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 441

You deserved it 6 980

By Anonymous - 15/06/2016 17:07 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, my brother started ranting about how fluoridated water is a conspiracy to "turn people gay". I said the government must be doing a shit job of it, since he's been drinking the stuff longer than I've been alive and is still married to a woman. He punched me so hard, my vision blacked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 588

You deserved it 2 105

By NUsConstantine - 19/10/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, my research partner emails me 2 hours before our deadline saying that she can't complete her half of our 20 page report because when she woke up this morning she couldn't see. How did she write the email? FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 724

You deserved it 2 652

By robbedonCTA - 22/09/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 027

You deserved it 7 673

By elite - 19/01/2012 21:59

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 396

You deserved it 4 342

By Anonymous - 29/02/2016 22:56 - United States - San Bruno

Today, I hung out with some old friends for the first time since losing about 50 pounds, going from clinically obese to a healthy weight. I even bought a cute new dress for the occasion to show off my new body. No one noticed the change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 702

You deserved it 2 393

It's complicated

By Anonymous - 23/04/2021 22:02 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my partner of 5 years broke up with me via text. We were talking about starting a family just last week. We have a foster puppy together and moved into a new house a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 82

By Anonymous - 23/12/2014 21:48 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 459

You deserved it 3 875

By TheGoodTwin - 14/07/2011 15:53 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 227

You deserved it 2 790

By littl3storm - 12/05/2019 21:30

Today, I found out that I work with a bunch of sex addicts. One of them is my cousin, and she did NOT hold back when telling me her and her fiancé's plans about swinging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 186

By ishyboo - 27/02/2016 22:59 - United States - Baraboo

Today, I let my estranged husband move back in with my son and me. Later, his pregnant and underage girlfriend knocked on my door, crying about how her mom kicked her out. I'm such a pushover, they're in my bed and I'm on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 269

You deserved it 28 754

By Wino - 05/12/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 769

You deserved it 34 456

By justplaindumb - 04/08/2016 00:48 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I walked into a wall, smashing my laptop into the top of my eye socket. This was all because I was carrying my laptop, phone and chocolate mug cake, all while trying to watch Netflix on said laptop. I feel like a 2016 cliché. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 014

You deserved it 16 083

By meganisabella - 11/03/2012 09:15 - United States

Today, I went driving for the first time. I made it twenty miles to my step mom's house, and didn't stop until I was inside the garage. Too bad the garage door was closed when I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 501

You deserved it 17 548

By RckRagman - 30/04/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 174

You deserved it 11 453

Going out of business? It's a matter of life and death!

By Prepper? - 06/12/2017 01:30

Today, the accredited funeral home of my memorial plan is going out of business. Instead of delegating my policy to a different firm, they gave me the package. I now have to take home a land title for where I will be buried, my own coffin, and my headstone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 800

You deserved it 301

By DudeManBro69 - 01/05/2009 13:15 - United States

Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 959

You deserved it 3 550

By Anonymous - 10/09/2017 00:00 - Australia - Coogee

Today, while holidaying in Greece, I approached a cute girl in a club and offered her a drink in Greek. She said, "No Greek!" and then called me an "ugly kiss-ass" in English, thinking I wouldn't understand. I'm Australian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 968

You deserved it 389

By Catherine - 23/05/2011 19:33 - United States

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems. The nurse was helping my mom fill out the paperwork. When asked for her employer, my mom started trying to sell the nurse Aflac, and got into a serious 10 minute conversation about it, all while I'm going blind in my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 408

You deserved it 3 180

By Anonymous - 09/08/2015 03:53 - United States

Today, I found out my babysitter has been selling the breastmilk I produce for my baby and replacing it with formula, while still taking my money every week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 695

You deserved it 2 329

By Sickofbeingsick - 01/10/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 2 824

By Anonymous - 04/11/2009 20:39 - United States

Today, I got a well paying job that requires me to drive around and present a product to potential customers. After going out for a victory meal with friends, I came home to find my car broken into, and my GPS stolen. I need it for the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 261

You deserved it 4 357

This Charming Man

By Sheev - 18/10/2019 06:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was texting the guy I like. I asked him why our friend didn't want to come to the movies with us. He replied, "She didn't want to be the third wheel, but it's not like I'm going to put the moves on you. I'm out of your league, and you're socially awkward anyway." That's just what I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 758

You deserved it 285

By chelsay05 - 04/11/2016 00:53 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, I had to go to work on my day off to suspend someone. Afterwards, I got a call saying I can't suspend the person in question because the supervisor who told me to suspend them was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 346

You deserved it 659

By Anonymous - 11/08/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 580

You deserved it 3 827

By notsosmart - 06/03/2011 11:28 - Australia

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 265

You deserved it 4 514

By Nutless - 02/04/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 466

You deserved it 12 404

By Shock - 21/03/2016 20:12 - United States - Littleton

Today, while working for a hospital security company, I had to assist in restraining a male patient while the nurses put a catheter in him. All I will say is that it looked like a worm trying to swallow a straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 098

You deserved it 1 614

By catlady5569 - 27/08/2009 08:13 - United States

Today, my sister came over for a visit. I was going to surprise her with the news that I had spontaneously gotten a cat. The first thing she told me when she came in was that she ran over my neighbor's cat. None of my neighbors have cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 077

You deserved it 4 350

By Sean - 09/10/2010 20:54 - United States

Today, I got a zero on my math test. My teacher was convinced that I had written the answers on my arm. No answers, just really thick, black arm hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 446

You deserved it 3 318

By Anonymous - 02/02/2013 14:41 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 089

You deserved it 9 862

By oops123 - 16/07/2012 14:38 - United States

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 211

You deserved it 29 310

By totallymyfaultyeah - 18/07/2017 05:00

Today, it was my 23rd birthday. I didn't make it to my party because I was rear-ended on the way there by a 16-year-old in a red mustang going 50+ mph. My birthday cake landed in my lap and I was yelled at by his mother for getting chocolate icing on their insurance card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 866

You deserved it 305

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Top comments

Ashamed_Sister 60

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Saturday 9 November 2013 12:11

You should get a restraining order against her. She's clearly out of her mind.

pinkchocoa 15

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Saturday 9 November 2013 12:12

Fire her son

Ashamed_Sister 60

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Saturday 9 November 2013 12:11

You should get a restraining order against her. She's clearly out of her mind.

Ryan8878 21

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Saturday 9 November 2013 14:22

No wonder her son drinks with a mother like that.

Sports_guy3 28

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Saturday 9 November 2013 15:49

FYL, but isn't he allowed to drink? He's older than 21.

Dynosaur_dollie 38

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Saturday 9 November 2013 16:02

Of course he's allowed to drink, I don't think that was the issue. However showing up to teach student well intoxicated may be a slight issue. Not many jobs are all over you coming to work drunk regardless of if you legally can drink.

onlyme25 26

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Saturday 9 November 2013 20:19

Yes he's allowed to drink. Doesn't mean he should show up to a teaching job, drunk....

pinkchocoa 15

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Saturday 9 November 2013 12:12

Fire her son

michaelaranda 28

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Saturday 9 November 2013 15:23

I mean, he showed up to teach kids while he was drunk. fire his ass op.

ComoEsJuan 24

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Saturday 9 November 2013 17:19

In some counties, like the one in which I work, you can't be fired for showing up drunk if you admit to having a problem. The county will then send you to get treatment. Then, if you don't go, you can be fired.

michaelaranda 28

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Saturday 9 November 2013 19:29

ops in the us. you can get fired for showing up drunk.

holeyman 8

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Saturday 9 November 2013 21:20

Teachers union in California helped a teacher retire and get his FULL benefits after frosting cookies with his sperm and feeding them to the kids. Showing up drunk isn't even a big deal to them

Cazz91 21

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Sunday 10 November 2013 0:35

That is beyond messed up #51. I would like to know what possessed that man to do such a thing in the first place.

Xquisite1 28

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Monday 11 November 2013 3:44

Google."Mark Berndt". A very sick perverse bastard. He fed them his semen on plastic spoons as well while they were blindfolded and he also allowed cockroaches to crawl on their faces as well in addition to the semen-coated cookies.

rabbitprooffence 14

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Saturday 9 November 2013 12:14

Wow, I hope that by "discipline" you mean "fire", it sounds like this teacher isn't all that grown up himself!

fakedsincerity 32

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Saturday 9 November 2013 16:48

he's clearly a mummy's boy still if he needs her to come fight his battles for him.

bakedgoods_ 3

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Monday 11 November 2013 23:46

or for that matter, you should be fired for not firing him! xD

Grauncho 26

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Saturday 9 November 2013 12:17

Mommy is mad because you put her little boy I'm timeout.

cakefete2 30

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Saturday 9 November 2013 14:17

Her son really needs to man up, stop running to mommy to fight his battles, and sober up.

Tomato_Cheese 22

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Tuesday 5 January 2016 4:39

You are timeout.

Angelic_Author 16

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Saturday 9 November 2013 12:17

He's not still teaching, is he? O.o

kathryn14 19

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Saturday 9 November 2013 12:20

Wow. I hope you at least suspended him or something. "Disciplined" doesn't sound like a harsh enough word here.

cakefete2 30

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Saturday 9 November 2013 14:19

Would you prefer spank? I'd prefer spank. I bet if his mother did that he'd be sober in class.

JMichael 25

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Saturday 9 November 2013 12:36

How dare you discipline that poor man for doing what he loves!!! You're so unprofessional!

purebliss_fml 19

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Saturday 9 November 2013 12:38

Oh mothers.. When will they let go?

cakefete2 30

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Saturday 9 November 2013 14:22

Usually, when either they or the son dies. Usually.... Some show up at the Long Island Medium's house like, "can you delivery a message to my son?"

purebliss_fml 19

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Saturday 9 November 2013 15:03

Mums are pretty cool, except when they go a bit psycho like the mother OP had to deal with. By the way... What on earth is Long Island medium house?

pame7a 1

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Saturday 9 November 2013 16:15

It's a show. She communicates with those passed on.

fakedsincerity 32

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Sunday 10 November 2013 0:39

you mean they claim to communicate with them.

catkat1988 17

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Saturday 9 November 2013 12:49

I'm not sure what exactly is meant by "discipline", but that teacher should've been fired - especially if he was drunk in front of the kids. As for his mother, I fail to see how her threats could be anything but completely empty - she is not in any position of power over you.