Curiosity should stay at home
By Anonymous - 23/09/2015 12:43 - Malta - Santa Venera
By Anonymous - 23/09/2015 12:43 - Malta - Santa Venera
By funnyguyNOT - 05/04/2009 21:39 - United States
By quinndulgent - 29/11/2015 21:10 - United States - West Bend
By shygurl434 - 15/03/2010 09:14 - United States
By not getting laid - 13/10/2013 14:38 - United States - San Antonio
By Garry - 04/05/2012 21:53 - United States
By why do eggs explode - 12/10/2015 21:35 - Canada - Calgary
By Anonymous - 24/05/2012 19:23 - United Kingdom - Sheffield
By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 01:31 - United States - Westfield
By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States
By Anonymous - 19/03/2009 19:10 - United States
By KJS - 10/03/2010 05:00 - United States
By Anonymous - 14/04/2009 17:17 - United States
By millzee - 17/01/2009 17:41 - United States
By anonymous - 16/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Rock Hill
By streaker? - 27/11/2015 14:21 - Germany - Langenhagen
By Deweyboy - 21/12/2015 18:01 - United States
By PeepShow - 06/08/2009 06:04 - United States
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 04/02/2016 22:19
By YumeWolf - 03/10/2015 23:01 - Netherlands - Utrecht
Hi guys, OP here. Thanks for some of your funny comments, they made me laugh! To answer some questions, no, I do not sleep commando, yes I had pants on and no I wasn't robbed. I had a friend over, who stayed 'till pretty late (around 5 AM), so I was extremely exhausted. So exhausted that I fell asleep with my sweatpants still on, as I normally sleep without pants (so I was very lucky). I woke up about 30 minutes later, in the elevator. I had locked myself out, naturally, but luckily my friend lives in the same apartment building as me, and she had a spare key. I'm glad she opened the door when I rang her bell at 5:45 in the morning. I never had problems with sleepwalking before, and I haven't sleepwalked since. I hang my keys on the doorhandle every night, so that if I somehow manage to turn the lock and open the door, the keys will slide right off on top of my feet. That should wake me up if it ever happens again!
By whatdidimarry - 24/09/2015 23:31 - United Kingdom - Cardiff
By merissa22 - 01/09/2012 17:37 - United States - Chicago
nothing like a shot in my ass after trying to sum up the courage to go out in public won't help
By Rebecca - 21/05/2012 14:11 - United States - Austin
By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx
By FlyAwayPlease - 25/08/2015 22:38 - United Kingdom - Mold
By charlotte273 - 30/06/2010 09:39 - United Kingdom
By CollegeBound - 17/08/2012 19:55 - United States - Tully
By gingerwhinger - 05/08/2015 23:24 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes
By _guy_j - 06/09/2015 03:11 - United States - Glendora
Keywords
Hey guys, OP Here. I don't hate my job. My boss works awesomely with my schedule, I make a ton of money, and I work with a bunch of good people. I try my best to welcome everyone who comes in when I'm at the lead register, but my store can get about 8-900 customers a day, so my welcomes can be a little reflexive. I had just gotten up that morning, after working a 9 hour shift the night before, with a 7 hour shift ahead of me. I heard the cat push the door open, and I said it half-asleep with my siblings all around the table.