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Fortunately it was nothing to do with my work ethic or wrong doings on my part. The business simply couldn't support the amount of staff it had at the time.

You tried…

By Emoney1 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 684

You deserved it 7 009

We need to talk

By Anonymous - 30/07/2015 19:29 - Canada - Foam Lake

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 683

You deserved it 2 987

By OpenWide - 24/11/2009 03:22 - United States

Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 683

You deserved it 4 181

OpenWide tells us more.

OpenWide 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 18:45

I actually laughed at the time. Probably because I didn't know what to say. I can take a joke so I went out with him a few more times but the forwardness continued so I ended it... And he never got to find out just how big my mouth really is

By Hollywoodanonymous - 31/10/2011 06:57 - United States

Today, I had a relaxing night watching movies with my room-mates. Everyone but I had a girl over to lie with during the movie. The closest I got all night was the multiple times my room-mate's dog tried to mount me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 683

You deserved it 3 956

Alas, poor Mickey

By socksoffire - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 681

You deserved it 4 929

Curious

By friendless - 03/12/2009 06:12 - Canada

Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 680

You deserved it 3 831

By cthulhu help me - 01/03/2013 18:22 - United States - Cabot

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 678

You deserved it 2 839

By Anonymous - 19/11/2012 21:08 - United States - Nutley

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 678

You deserved it 6 162

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 678

You deserved it 3 302

By wags34 - 22/08/2011 14:57 - United States

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 677

You deserved it 5 786

wags34 tells us more.

wags34 2

Monday 22 August 2011 23:25

Well, I've done everything from asking nicely to letting my dog go in his yard. We live outside the city and you really can't sue for something like this. It's just gonna be one of those neighborhood wars I guess. It's just whenever something so stupid like this goes on you can't help but think FML.

By Dude - 23/10/2010 15:13 - Singapore

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 677

You deserved it 4 165

By fartje - 25/01/2015 18:21 - Netherlands

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer blatantly farted as I sat down, then she sneered, "Making yourself comfortable, I see..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 676

You deserved it 2 463

By NoName - 03/12/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, we had my school musical. The girls have to wear long skirts. I had a thong on, and while we were dancing the guy behind me stepped on my skirt. It fell to my ankles... the whole audience saw my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 676

You deserved it 19 132

By :O - 05/04/2015 22:19 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 675

You deserved it 2 634

By La Guigne - 08/04/2013 21:10 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 674

You deserved it 7 896

Some things never change…

By bastardchild_01 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 673

You deserved it 3 923

The reviews are in

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 20:56 - United States

Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her Twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 671

You deserved it 3 035

Sleepy head

By wideawakeandinpain - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after staying up all night with an excruciating headache, it finally went away. I crawled into bed and snuggled up to my husband only to have him shift positions and elbow me right in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 670

You deserved it 3 248

By Scared - 05/06/2012 00:54 - United States - Arlington

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 669

You deserved it 3 405

365 Days part 16

By frustrated - 13/01/2013 06:39 - United States - Miami

Today, while reading an erotic story, I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 666

You deserved it 12 475

Trashed

By Sailorjoe - 25/08/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 665

You deserved it 7 293

By agent_awesome - 21/09/2011 15:25 - United Kingdom

Today, a fly got stuck up my nose while I was giving a speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 665

You deserved it 2 626

agent_awesome tells us more.

agent_awesome 10

Wednesday 21 September 2011 23:36

i popped it out by holding down the other nostril and blowing.it was awkward. but atleast i gave the people a story to tell. one day when its not so fresh i will look back and laugh...i hope