Today, we had my school musical. The girls have to wear long...

By NoName - 3/12/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, we had my school musical. The girls have to wear long skirts. I had a thong on, and while we were dancing the guy behind me stepped on my skirt. It fell to my ankles... the whole audience saw my ass. FML

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Miscellaneous

Serious times

Out of it

Capitalism kills

By Anonymous - 6/10/2019 22:00

You wanker!

Today, my brother arrived at the cabin we’re staying at on a trip. He insisted he got the bed I chose. My father responded, "You wouldn’t want the bed if you knew what he did in it last night." I laughed until I realized there's a mirror where he could've easily seen "what I did last night." FML

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By - 7/2/2020 18:00

Bachelor party

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

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By Canadagirl - 24/8/2017 01:30

Today, my boyfriend of seven and a half years broke up with me. By text message. FML

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By buryuntime - 3/3/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML

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By cockblockedbyFB - 6/6/2015 13:01 - United States - San Antonio

Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook. Then she bitched me out because "we never have sex anymore." FML

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By wastedlove - 23/6/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/8/2010 05:14 - United States

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/6/2019 12:07

Today, while working as a waitress, an attractive woman sat at one of my tables. When she paid, I decided to be bold and write my number and "Call me" on her receipt. She put in a complaint to my manager. FML

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By everfresh - 26/1/2011 10:38 - Finland

Today, my boyfriend thought the garbage can in our kitchen smelled bad. Instead of cleaning it, he had it equipped with a Wunderbaum. Our entire house now smells like "New Car". FML

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By RyloGhyst - 12/12/2016 12:46 - United States - Killeen

Today, after putting the same load of laundry through the wash four times, I was wondering why my clothes kept smelling worse and worse. Turns out, my cat learned how to open and pee in the detergent funnel. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/1/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

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By ssydneyy - 17/7/2012 19:47 - United States - Lakewood

Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML

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By mrricecakes - 23/3/2012 05:55 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

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By MB101 - 28/9/2012 00:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

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By secretsmakefriends - 15/10/2013 21:43 - United States - Vashon

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

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By fuq - 22/5/2012 18:42 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

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By AmberKCole - 8/7/2009 18:45 - United States

Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML

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By anonymous - 21/5/2010 17:26 - United States

Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

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By xkal174 - 15/11/2010 11:33 - United States

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/9/2013 06:47 - United Kingdom - Warrington

Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML

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By rabbitoncocaine - 20/4/2012 06:41 - Germany - Unterbreizbach

Today, I locked my car. I put the key in my bag when suddenly my car began to roll backwards. I tried to get the key out of my bag but couldn't find it, and with the other hand I tried to stop the car. The worst thing was that some dumbass was watching me and didn't help. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 14:48 - United States

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML

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By nicki - 14/11/2010 17:18 - United States

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/3/2017 20:00

Today, I finally told the girl I'm in love with how I've felt ever since we first met six years ago. She let me know that not only does she not feel the same way, she's always considered me a creep and only ever hung out with me because of our mutual friends. FML

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By annonymous - 6/4/2009 08:35 - China

Today, I had a softball team dinner, and I was sitting with a bunch of girls who were talking about how far they've gone with guys. One girl goes "I must be the least experienced one here, I've never even kissed a guy!" Surprised, I said "me too!" and high-fived her. She was joking. I wasn't. FML

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By notacreep - 16/5/2009 08:39 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/8/2014 04:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend interrupted my proposal to take a selfie with the ice cream I had just bought her. She then said no. FML

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By theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? - 31/5/2013 22:25 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

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By GlassPwn - 19/12/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/10/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/9/2009 07:25 - Japan

Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/1/2013 16:50 - United Kingdom - Nuneaton

Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/5/2019 16:00

Today, the guy I've been talking to for two months told me he hooked up with a girl last night, before blocking me on everything. I also was with him last night. FML

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By frustrated - 13/1/2013 06:39 - United States - Miami

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

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By Username - 21/1/2011 01:41

Today, while trying to explain to my date that a small coffee would be fine, I said "I'm cheap and I'm easy". FML

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By Anonymous - 6/8/2020 17:00

Yikes

Today, while arguing with my husband, I asked him what makes him so angry. He threw a spoon at the kitchen floor and yelled, “ I AM NOT ANGRY!!!!” FML

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By LanaStidolph - 2/12/2017 06:00

Today, I bought shampoos and household chemicals and was heading home on my bike when it started to rain. I felt a weird burning sensation down my back so I stopped and got off the bike. My backpack and jeans were covered in foam. FML

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By SadFoxLady - 10/6/2013 18:01 - United States - Des Moines

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

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By dishwasherforlife - 4/11/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I filled out a 'perfect job placement' test, where you put down your skills, experience and education level and then it finds you jobs based on your abilities and areas of knowledge. No lie, the most compatible job they found for me was 'Dishwasher'. FML

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By Tomtom - 17/11/2008 05:04 - France

Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML

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Top comments

By neutralpiehotel | 0

#702917 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:28

If you have a nice ass, then no FML. If you don't have a nice ass, don't wear a thong.

By Incubuss | 0

#702897 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:21

My mum once did a musical in high school and it was really raunchy, and in the middle they had to go into the crowd and pick one person and basically sit on their knee and dance. It was really dark and people couldn't see very well, so when it came to this section every other girl chose someone their age.. and my mother chose the local vicar.

Just thought i'd share this, as we're on the subject of musicals.

COMMENTS

By Person1233 | 12

#702889 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:15

I wish I lived in Connecticut.

arielhoee | 9

#702926 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:32

Us girls wear thongs so our underwear lines don't show & because they're comfortable.

OP: my dance studio doesn't let us wear underwear for our performances, so I wear a thong. I ripped my pants at dress rehearsal doing the splits one year, they were made out of nylon, & everyone still teases me about it. Rofl.

shinkukage09 | 0

#702961 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:49

Oi, don't lump every male together. Not every male is a horny moron who can't think of anything but sex, naked women, and tits.

The_Pleb | 0

#702987 - Friday 4 December 2009 0:04

Every male is a horny moron,

Except you but your half woman or gay anyway

Dump_fml | 0

#702990 - Friday 4 December 2009 0:06

Yeah. Some are gay.

sarcdude | 3

#703007 - Friday 4 December 2009 0:18

Exactly. I'm not a moron.

hd123 | 0

#703129 - Friday 4 December 2009 1:39

get paid for using a search engine! bit.ly/7iCHwn

myballs | 0

#703156 - Friday 4 December 2009 2:01

AhahahAHAHAHAHAHA. This is a true FML. This is the quintessential red-faced holy-fuck-did-this-just-happen-to-me moment.

Learn to laugh, OP. You probably would have cracked up if it were someone else.

chakrabs | 0

#703435 - Friday 4 December 2009 4:05

It all depends on if you're hot or not.

Nakedsquirrel | 5

#703450 - Friday 4 December 2009 4:13

Indeed! This doesn't HAVE to be an FML.

pureecstasy | 5

#986760 - Friday 30 April 2010 18:47

10 be fineee

NzxtZ06 | 0

#1012186 - Sunday 30 May 2010 4:13

pics or it never happened

NzxtZ06 | 0

#1012187 - Sunday 30 May 2010 4:15

I'm serious, otherwise you're a phony, a big fat phony.

pureecstasy | 5

#1023464 - Tuesday 8 June 2010 4:10

0.o 10 fineee

pingpongpickle | 8

#1024170 - Tuesday 8 June 2010 19:57

wtf. you should have worn bloomers underneath, that is so disgusting having only a thong. ydi!!

Insane_Tea | 15

#2099101 - Saturday 19 February 2011 5:59

On average men think about sex every 7 seconds. 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3..!!!! I guess I'm ahead of the curve.

xShannonxSammyx | 7

#3863007 - Tuesday 10 January 2012 23:39

Connecticut sucks, this is probably the most interesting thing about CT I've ever heard.

marsrover12 | 0

#4501695 - Thursday 31 May 2012 5:44

I agree I love thongs

By Occums_Razor | 0

#702892 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:19

YDI for thinking you could get away with wearing a thong.

kate12345678901 | 15

#5338449 - Thursday 24 January 2013 23:05

thongs are comfy, whats your problem?

sulitak | 26

#5529670 - Tuesday 11 June 2013 10:07

oh yeah... thongs are totally comfortable and not at all awkward.
I'll stick with my boy shorts and avoid the butt floss feeling

By Incubuss | 0

#702897 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:21

Person1233 | 12

#702915 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:28

Wait scratch that.. She was probably some fatass 12-13 year old.. *shudders*

By MzRodriquez95 | 0

#702901 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:23

Why would you wear a thong to school ?

marsrover12 | 0

#4501709 - Thursday 31 May 2012 5:46

Yeah.

thecman25 | 14

#6120395 - Monday 17 November 2014 2:37

To entertain the guys

By Attrox | 0

#702907 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:23

I hope you were nice enough to give them a good view of it.

...Of course, if you're some fat whore, I guess you weren't that appreciated.

By neutralpiehotel | 0

#702917 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:28

If you have a nice ass, then no FML. If you don't have a nice ass, don't wear a thong.

By lostfaithinpppl | 19

#702918 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:29

At least you were wearing a thong. Could have had nothing under your skirt ;)

muichini | 0

#703483 - Friday 4 December 2009 4:27

she could have worn actual under wear not a loin cloth on a string

By psychoxxxinvader | 3

#702922 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:29

Ugh...
Thats embarassing :S

alexxss_fml | 10

#1549566 - Friday 15 October 2010 4:13

lmfaoo!!! love it haha

By randomdude1234 | 0

#702923 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:30

YDI for wearing butt floss

MonsterSlayer13 | 5

#3917048 - Saturday 21 January 2012 4:39

...eww....

By Kuato | 0

#702941 - Thursday 3 December 2009 23:35

Hmmm, better post a picture of the event so we can confirm the authenticity of this fml.

Feverrotes | 15

#703516 - Friday 4 December 2009 4:46

^This

WIN

yuchen | 2

#928302 - Tuesday 9 March 2010 10:46

lol