By wags34 - United States
Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML
wags34 tells us more :
Well, I've done everything from asking nicely to letting my dog go in his yard. We live outside the city and you really can't sue for something like this. It's just gonna be one of those neighborhood wars I guess. It's just whenever something so stupid like this goes on you can't help but think FML.
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Top comments
  xk75  |  4

Exactly- record it for evidence, then use the Internet to look up your town's ordinances on dog waste (if your town doesn't have the ordinances online, go to city hall and ask to see the code of ordinances there). I can virtually guarantee that it's illegal to purposely allow your dog to go on someone else's land and leave it there.

Then, go to the police with your videos and the LAW!

  stef108  |  3 the cops. Im sure that's gotta be illegal..that's your private's against the law for dogs to crap in parks and stuff so I don't see why your yard would be any diff.

  Jammy01jams  |  2

Sorry neighbour! I have no idea how those sharpened metal spikes and nails were all over my lawn! :D

  humorizer  |  14

If your lawn is full of logs, then simply remove the logs from both sides and set both sides equal to each other. Then solve for the unknown variable as you normally would!

  chuckychan  |  8

go to shelter and "borrow" a bunch of dogs, when he is at work or away or something. break into his house and lock all the dogs in there, feed them first.

  xoconnie  |  8

call the cops. they deal with this stuff all the time. just make sure they dont arrive when hes walking his dogs on ur lawn because he might crap himself too.

  FarSide  |  22

Why do so many people who submit FMLs never seem to know that calling the cops or suing won't work? Few if any cities have dog-shit ordinances. It will cost the owner hundreds of dollars to even FILE a lawsuit, take a minimum of 4 months to resolve, and you could still lose.

  LolzRoyce23  |  0

I agree with 2 why not use your brain and call the cops and have that douchebag trespass warned. then film it happening if he does it again and have him cited and possibly arrested.

  NTimmy  |  2

U don't need a video for evidence, they can do a mouth swab on the dogs and they'll know whether or not the poo belongs to his dogs, of course if u were to get ur revenge same would be done to u :)

  Evan2297  |  0

Wow 376, not everyone is trying to be, or even wants to be "gangsta." Piss-pipes and poop-chutes is actually pretty funny, and pretty clever; something you can't be by incessantly swearing, doing drugs, and killing. Hey maybe if we have poor dental hygene and develop a cocaine addiction we will get all the ladies. Because you know, killing your body from the inside out is the latest craze, and we should follow it.

  Jezlovespink  |  5

there's always electric fence, those little devices that scare away dogs, umm hire a petting zoo, some elephants and zebras and horses and send them to his house for like 16 hours saying it's his birthday feed those animals a lot of diarrhea causing food and watch the fun start hmmm....ever seen the movie "How High"? where they give those pigeons that weird stuff and they exploded and shitted all over the professors office? hmm there are a lot of good stuff u can do....if the cops don't wana do anything about it....haha


The city won't do anything. They never do. Pick up the dog shit with protected hands and throw it at his house. Or you could put it in bags and set it on his front porch saying "merry Christmas from your dogs"

  dhooks111490  |  8

So your telling me you would feel "threatened" enough by someone's dog shitting in your yard that you would shoot them?? Oh you are such a manly and brave guy. Actually I imagine you as being quite the little bitch...bitch

  duckman9  |  54

or better:
1. Pick up the poop from your yard
2. Place poop in newspaper
3. Place newspaper containing poop in front of the neighbors door
4. Light a fire using the edge of the newspaper
5. Ring doorbell
6. Run!! (I sure hope you'we read this list all the way through, and are not standing in front of the door with a burning pile of poop asking yourself what to do next).
7. ???
8. Profit!

P.S. Quite juvenile solution, but hey.. shit happens!

  kapippenger  |  0

Throw it on his door. And if it continues, when u see him doing it, go outside and spray them with the water hose. (Hey, you're just trying to water to water your lawn)

  buster1  |  0

Too right! Bad poop etiquette is inexcusable. Return the plops, I say. It'll probably result in your charming neighbour taking their dogs for more night walks, in the hopes of not being spotted, but there's am easy fix for that too. Install a motion sensing deer/cat/pest sprinkler sprayer (available at garden centres, online garden supply stores) just inside your property & move it around occasionally to maintain the element of surprise. One or two blasts & drenchings should convince Sir Poop a Lot to take his pooch elsewhere.


I think they have like special motion activated thingys tht release like a high pitched noise wen they detect movement it's supposed to scare dogs away and only they can hear it

  holewski  |  0

sprinkler is a great idea your neighbour will start to get really pissed at the smell of wet dog every time it goes for a crap, and just think of the satisfaction you will have seeing his face after the first time you turn sprinkler on him.

  jonn090  |  13

People we ALL know that never works that is where u use your amendment right to self arm a good demonstration of that right with a shot gun should do the trick

  tona01  |  16

Op you should grow a pair and confront your neighbor, if you show confidence, determination and a lot of anger, you'll make your point clear. If that doesn't work you can always hit your neighbor, remember go for the nose

  EnEl_Infierno  |  15

I'm not sure but I believe what #6 was trying to say was... like himself, for the Op to run abt in his boxers and act crazy and annoy the neighbor enough till he moves. At last that's how interpreted.

By  megs1642  |  5

Maybe you should confront your neighbour about it... or put up a I shoot trespassers sign and buy a gun and sit on your porch and clean it whenever he comes out with his dog.