By needofmoney - 18/02/2011 02:16 - United States
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If there was an agreement that the father was to pay the money back, then yes he should damn well pay it back. So, he took care of OP for most, if not all of his life. Big whoop. You can't skip out on agreements just because "you took care of him for 18 years so you owe him nothing". No. If you take something that isn't yours (that includes borrowing), you give it back. We learned this when we were 3, people.
My parents owe me several thousand dollars that they stole out of my bank account while I was deployed to Iraq. I made the mistake of giving my mother power over everything while I was gone, and she cleaned me out. I still haven't seen a dime of the money, and you won't get yours, either.
I was planning on starting this argument but it got started without me. #57 I don't see you paying back your parents. They care for you and pay for you and help you and all you say is "big woop." I understand your adolescent mind can not comprehend what your parents do for you but please try. They don't have to care for you there r tons of homeless kids on the streets who don't think that having parents is a "big woop." I don't agree with the American parenting style. If you refuse to spank or hit your child then just dont feed him for a few days and he will never complain about "not getting enough from his parents" again.
Adolescent? Yes, clearly. No, I am an adult, and I don't feel I should be paying (one of) my parents back because quite frankly I had a hard life because of her and she didn't help me out any. My mother deliberately made my life a living hell, but that's enough about me. Yes, I say "big whoop" because of my past. Had I had a decent one; had she cared or helped me out any, I would have certainly thought more about it. See, I haven't had much time with my dad, but I do know from the time I HAVE spent with him that he deserves the favour should anything come up. Tons of homeless kids on the street? Yeah... buddy, you don't know my story. I'm not going to get into it here, but don't judge people before you know the facts. American parenting style? I am Canadian, first of all. Second, spanking is far different from hitting. Neither of those have anything to do with how wrong it is to starve your child for a few days.
you should know better no one ever gets money their parents owe then back and if you ask 90% of the time you're told to get a job or that they owe you nothing cause they raised you and that in fact you owe them for all the money they wasted on you raising you my mother owes me over 5k that's what she told me...
wow u r a pice of shit that's family and families are suppose to help eachother out you are truly a shitty kid and aught to feel ashamed of your self
#6 Hey genius! Have you ever considered that maybe they NEED the money? Maybe they need to pay rent or utilities, family or not freeloaders are awful to have around. A freeloader is the equivalent of a black hole, it takes and takes, but never returns anything. Nobody likes to have people who are useless around.
#21, when an individual decides to raise a child, they are aware of the cost. If you don't recognize that having kids costs money, then you should neither be having children nor even really having sex because you're clearly not well versed on the topic of responsibility. So yes, when a parents borrows money from their child, it IS owed back. That's the general idea behind "borrowing" money--you have to pay it back eventually.
21 - Let's use this plausible situation. OP gets an apartment. OP lives in apartment. Father needs money because of a car crash (or something else...anything else). OP gives it to him, but says they need it back before the end of the month so that they can make rent. Father agrees. End of the month comes. OP needs rent money because all they had was given to their father. Father doesn't have it/doesn't want to give it to them. OP is fucked over and can't pay rent. Draw your own conclusions from there. OP may have been prepared for the rent, but unprepared for whatever their dad needed the money for. It also could have been a situation where the dad needed $20 at a time, and it simply compounded to $400 because he asked that many times. Use your fucking head.
first of all, never lend money to family or friends. if u can't afford to give them the money, u can't afford to lend them the money because lending money is a good way to make that person disappear. second of all, if that money was supposed to go to rent.. she lent out money she couldn't afford to lend out!! but the way she says "I finally told my dad he owes me 400" sounds like it accumulated, so she's really just making him pay her back for all the small things she did for him.. what about all the things he did for her?? third of all, that's rent money for all the years he fed and clothed her.
"first of all, never lend money to family or friends." [sic] --Why not? If you trust them, and you should since they're family, then I don't see why you wouldn't lend the money out unless you couldn't afford it. If she couldn't afford it, maybe she still trusted that her dad would pay it back before rent was due, and not be a total douche about it. If she could afford it, and it had accumulated, what's the deal? If they made an agreement that it would be paid back, the father needs to respect that and pay the damn money back. It does sound like it accumulated; that still doesn't mean they're even just because he bred and raised her. What the hell! Someone else said earlier that when he got his wife pregnant, he knew how much it would cost to raise the kid. HE made that choice. We, as children, don't owe our parents anything, though we are liable to fulfill some favours. OP was nice enough to do her dad the favour; most kids wouldn't do that at all! Her father is clearly just being a dick and trying to freeload.
It's not a universal rule, but it's a damn good one. In _most_ cases of family and friends (no, your anecdotes will not be considered data) there is considered to be no pressure to repay loans by at least one party in the transaction, so it keeps getting put off or ignored entirely. The other half of the advice, which I thought was implicit, is to not be afraid to _give_ your family and friends money if you can afford to do so. If you get repaid, consider it a nice bonus to your bank account, but _do_not_ *expect* the repayment. Maybe your family and friends are different, maybe they're not, but following this advice is a very good way to make sure you don't fuck up your own finances.
parents always rip their kids off >.> like when they said you got 300 bucks from your uncle and aunt as a gift and we'll save it for you in the future when you need it, and when you go to ask them for the money they'll either say something on the lines of we used it on your clothes/ food or where did you think you got money for your food/cloths food -_-
Sounds reasonable to me. When I first had a baby, people gave money as a gift and would say "spend it on the baby". I kept it all in a savings account. Meanwhile I hadn't worked since I was three months pregnant and my husband's job laid everyone off. I finally broke down and spent the kid's money on nappies, clothes, food, and everything else she needed. Years later, I still have all the receipts in case she somehow turns into an ungrateful little twat demanding to know where *her* money went. Hasn't happened yet so maybe we're doing something right. When we had financial difficulties last year, she brought us her piggy bank and asked why couldn't we also just use her some of her education funds.
#43, it sounds like you still "spent it on the baby". Did they say "hoard it until she's older so she can buy shit"? I think your situation is significantly different than a parent deciding a gift of money is too much for a child to handle and saying specifically that they were putting it away for when they were older. The two people you were responding to were obviously old enough to remember being told this. When someone gives someone a gift of money, it is assumed to be theirs. They were given their money and had it taken away, you were given that money and spent it on what you were told to. As for your kid, she's clearly a nice one. But there is NOTHING to suggest that either of those posters has a family that was going through financial problems when they spent the money.
wow for someone who raised you and put up with al you crap you are being very ungrateful upwards him
It is a parents job to raise, teach and provide for their children, until the children reach a point where they can, or want to try to make it on their own. That being said, childhood is not an indentured servitude or a debt that needs to be collected on upon the child reaching adulthood. Any parent/person who believes children, upon adulthood, should or need to pay back their parents has no business raising children as they seem a bit too self-involved. We don't know why OP is short on rent, but that shouldn't matter. OP's father has the responsibility to pay back money borrowed, or at least keep them informed as to why it cannot be paid.
If OP gets kicked out of his place it'll be because he didn't manage his finances well. Don't lend money you can't afford to give away. And although all the things parents do for the children doesn't need to be paid back, it should at least buy them a little grace and gratitude. Did you never borrow money from your parents? Cash payments are not part of the requirements like food, clothing, and shelter; neither are hobbies, toys, etc. My parents bought me toys, books, musical instruments and lessons, martial arts lessons...they basically supported every hobby I had. They drove to skating parties, movies, etc. and gave me money to spend. Add it all up over the years and I'm certain I'm forever in their debt.
Maybe I should have been more clear. Respect and gratitude are very different from monetary repayment. I still stand by my statement that any parent who expects monetary repayment or simply raising their child is a poor parent. No, I have never borrowed money from my parents. As a child I saved my allowance for everything I wanted that my parents didn't provide for me. I am grateful for all they did provide though.
Who said anything about being poor? Just off the top of my head I can consider two cases where this is plausible and nobody reasonable would call OP poor: 1) Just started a job and is still building up savings even though said job pays well (a situation I'm soon to be in), 2) OP has a job that pays well, rent is high, and for one reason or another (say, unexpected medical expenses) is a few hundred short for rent which is due tomorrow. Of course, that is even assuming we *accept* the premise of being poor => YDI and, trust me, you DO NOT want me to get started on why that premise is all wrong and you're an ass for even suggesting it. Of course, yes, I know very well not to feed the trolls but, you know, just this once I think you deserve a huge FUCK YOU.