By meh - 18/01/2012 05:21 - Canada
The Top
Spring cleaning
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By good-samaritan-fail - 06/10/2009 15:56 - Australia
By tawnaciousd - 10/09/2009 06:35 - United States
By Anonymous - 01/02/2011 13:43 - United States
By fattie4life - 20/07/2009 22:33 - United States
By Vampprobs - 25/03/2014 01:52 - United States - Skandia
By philderichmond - 14/06/2009 02:24 - United States
By yes, yes it does :( - 30/04/2014 21:11 - United States
By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States
By juvenile friends suck - 10/01/2013 20:52 - Germany - Tangstedt
By The fat and the ugly - 27/10/2011 18:56 - Finland
By Badnewca - 14/05/2009 06:07 - United States
Overcooked
By poopiemanlol - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada
By BadLuckinLove - 07/07/2010 10:56 - United States
rig_89 tells us more.
By Anonymous - 27/03/2011 14:36 - United States
By MadameM - 26/02/2009 08:17 - United States
By ManInPain - 12/07/2011 16:46 - United States
By michelle91 - 02/12/2009 11:36 - Malaysia
By a manly woman? - 09/02/2009 23:57 - United States
Biking
By OMGWTF - 13/08/2009 02:01 - United States
By my cheese grater + your dick - 17/01/2014 17:35 - Canada - Saskatoon
By Violet - 05/04/2014 01:57 - United States - Exeter
By ncjarhead - 24/04/2010 23:38 - United States
By Caimimi - 30/12/2013 15:46 - United States - Ingleside
Caimimi tells us more.
Hey OP here. I hadn't been up all that long and our dog started barking at something so I went to check it out. I open the door and there she is cutting all of my calla lily stems! I was incredibly baffled that she would just walk up onto the porch and do that. What I said to her was "Uhm.. Those are my flowers.." (such mean and rude fighting words!) She then took off like a bat out of hell while knocking off the plant pot onto the concrete below. (I think knocking it over was purely accidental but it still doesn't excuse what she was doing.) I got dressed and went next door to ask what the heck that was all about and she "informed" me that I must have mistaken her for someone else. After a few minutes of arguing I gave up and came back to clean up the mess. I figured I would just not worry about it, certainly nothing worth involving the law. On the plus side, about noon there was a knock on my door and a slightly larger, new plant pot was sitting on my porch with no one around. (I wonder who left it.. Hmmmm...) The actual act of picking the flowers doesn't bug me too terribly seeing as my niece picks the flowers almost every time one blooms. It is the lack of honesty that caused the issue for me.
By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale
By unproud - 15/11/2013 07:05 - United Kingdom - Luton
Smells like strip spirit
By m…… - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
Terrible troll
By ShitStirringSon - 15/08/2013 02:02 - United States - San Diego
By myheadhurts - 12/11/2013 02:14 - Canada - Vancouver
Keywords
OP here! Haha. For those wanting to know what happened afterwards - Me: Are you trying to have sex with me right now?! Him: Seems like it. Me: *stomp off pissily* Yeah. We made up later. He told me I was the last girl he wanted to have sex with, and in his book that was pretty much love. :) Haha. He makes jokes a lot, but I was in a bitchy mood it didn't seem funny to me right then, he didn't realize how upset I was and that it would make me even more upset. Now I think its hilarious, and its a win for both of us since we got on FML! :) And yeah, he got some later after we made up lol. Overall, he isn't a total douche and I didn't mean to pull a bitch move on him. I was being overemotional.