By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 101
You deserved it 3 188

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Top comments

footballfreak65 6

That's horrible!!! I mean really clever but he's an ass.


Oreohugzpenny 4

I never received one of these fabled sex talks. I got a demonstration of what sex was when my friend used my thermos and lunch box as props. In the 3rd grade.

kristabelli 19

I think this is one of the worst FMLs I've ever seen... sucks that your dad would say that about you, OP. :(

I didnt get the talk! my dad came in saying 'Son, we need to have a little man to man chat.' I just looked him dead in the eye saying 'No we don't.'

I never had it. Seems like it would be awkward anyways. Plus we learn all that stuff in like grade 4 now.

LiyIa_fml 8

I learned in 6th grade. But I'm sorry about that OP don't let it get to you. You'll find someone eventually!

I learned right before starting fifth grade. It was the most traumatising conversation I've had in my entire life. ._.

footballfreak65 6

That's horrible!!! I mean really clever but he's an ass.

DeadxManxWalking 27
Inheritance 10

He really laid it all out on you didn't he? Such low standards from your dad.. Fyl..

46 - Nice attempt at stealing 1's thunder.

lebronesque73091 12

Oh damn, that's harsh. Sorry, OP.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

That's terrible :/ sounds like something my father would say.

Fathers are sort of like assholes. I mean, it makes sense that we have them...but they're still assholes.

But he has an asshole which in turn makes him one too.

Inediblepeaches 15

Too much brain.... My logic hurts....

MrBond007_fml 6

So prove him wrong, bring a girl home, and just to get back at him for the comment, screw her on his bed.

MrBond007_fml 6

My bad, same applies backwards. I'm sexist and automatically assumed that op was a guy. Yes yes I know... Ass out of you and me...

Maybe she should bring home another chick. That'll really give dad something to talk about.

Yea she should get ****** on his bed. But then he'll probably whine about that as well.

what if OP is lesbian? than Mr.Bond would be correct, and the other two commentors would be homophobes

BBoxall 0

You definitely don't deserve that! Sorry:C your dad seems like a jerk. Confront him about it!

beccaishereyay 11

I hate these fmls about parents talking shit. It's so sad.

Why would they hate their kids so much? I have no idea.

hopsinlove17 26

He doesn't hate his kid...just has little faith in them

perdix 29

Your mom's sex talk must be pretty great that you had to go rub one out in the middle.

Good enough that I'd bet dad was listening

ArmlessSkydiver 7

who knew girls could rub one out..

Your picture works splendidly, I love it :)

PYLrulz 17

The other thing that popped into my mind was making a Family Guy reference, and saying the OP was Meg

Unbweavable 17

Got get knocked up to prove him wrong. *sarcasm*

Oh wow, you guys have the same picture. For a second I thought that person replied to themselves.