Miscellaneous: Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight....

By my cheese grater + your dick - 17/01/2014 17:35 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 140

You deserved it 5 311

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Same thing different taste

By xXEndlesslullabyXx - 05/06/2011 18:15 - United States

Today, my grandmother's excuse for not going to my college graduation was because she'd already bought her bingo card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 705

You deserved it 2 807

Bingo is serious business

By earlytermination - 06/09/2015 03:31 - United States

Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 088

You deserved it 2 461

By Anonymous - 13/02/2012 01:11 - United States

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 403

You deserved it 2 502

By nyebust - 01/01/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 215

You deserved it 8 144

By Anonymous - 08/01/2014 04:21 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 261

You deserved it 35 005

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 04:00 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 164

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 20:50

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 913

You deserved it 2 355

By Anonymous - 14/09/2018 14:30 - United States - Edinburg

Today, my girlfriend and I hosted a family game night with her grandparents and her father, who was bringing his "friend" who he'd been dating for a couple of weeks. It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 073

You deserved it 220

Cheers, Henry

By Tams - 12/09/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, my grandma and I went to visit one of her friends. The elderly gentleman told me I'd grown into a very beautiful young woman, to which my grandma replied, "Have you started in on the sherry early this evening, Henry?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 134

By arw - 25/07/2012 06:10 - United States

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 896

You deserved it 2 000

beckiebear 15

Friday 17 January 2014 23:52

Party with grandma! You should have just drank with her and taken a cab home. Live it up, OP!

pistachiopanda 19

Friday 17 January 2014 23:52

Ever stop to think that she invited you out of pity? Harsh.

Comments

beckiebear 15

Friday 17 January 2014 23:52

Party with grandma! You should have just drank with her and taken a cab home. Live it up, OP!

patrickalamo 47

Saturday 18 January 2014 3:45

Your Granny rocks!!!

pistachiopanda 19

Friday 17 January 2014 23:52

Ever stop to think that she invited you out of pity? Harsh.

tomwantssnow 14

Saturday 18 January 2014 0:49

That, or she really needed a DD

SpunkyyyMonkeyy 10

Monday 20 January 2014 18:48

Pity party!! :D

Opheliae 22

Friday 17 January 2014 23:53

Did you win anything?

Gingerette 8

Friday 17 January 2014 23:53

Crazy grandparents these days are more interesting than I am..

PoofTopComment 4

Friday 17 January 2014 23:53

And were supposed to feel bad for you? I wish my grandma's was like that!

xSkittle 16

Friday 17 January 2014 23:53

At least you had something to do! And grandma had a good time, yay for her!

cmorgan119 10

Friday 17 January 2014 23:53

Next time trick your sibling into being the DD and party with your grandma.

purebliss_fml 19

Friday 17 January 2014 23:57

New bingo drinking game: Take a shot every time a number is called.

EdenCrystal 21

Saturday 18 January 2014 1:18

:O But what if you got too drunk to realize you got a bingo?!?

Nordrag 26

Saturday 18 January 2014 1:23

keep drinking

cuppycakeslove 20

Friday 17 January 2014 23:58

Damn your grandma needs to teach me how to party

Mynamewontfi 40

Friday 17 January 2014 23:59

At least she was responsible enough to get a designated driver. You would've otherwise spend the night playing with cheese graters and dicks anyways.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 665

You deserved it 39 747

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 988

You deserved it 1 048

The Top

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 581

You deserved it 4 785

Today, after being constipated for four days post-surgery, I have gotten diarrhea. It doesn't actually help getting the hard plug out, but it has found slow passages around it, so I’m still left to my own devices. This is not the kind of gold I’d like to be digging for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 164

Today, I was called a fascist and accused of being "racist" against poor people, all because some crazy meth-mouthed bitch couldn't afford some booze and expected me to cut the price by almost 40% so she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 765

You deserved it 2 223

Today, my housemate yelled at me because I'm "ignoring" her and it makes her feel "rejected and hated." Last week, she yelled at me for saying hello, and told me not to speak to her unless she spoke to me first, because she was "stressed out" and "can't be disturbed." I can't take her mood swings any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 119

Today, I played with the white dust on the counter at work for the last time. After a couple of weeks of arriving to a thin coating of dust over the counter, and drawing in it, piling it up and other such fun things, I met the guy who now does the earlier shift. He has a huge, dandruffy beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 272

You deserved it 13 516

Today, it's been a troubled day. Me and my girlfriend got into it because she believes that I stepped out on her, which I didn’t. I haven’t had sex in over 15 years. I'd gotten an STI from a ex, and had no idea that I had anything, so now I’m "nasty" according to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 174

Same thing different taste

Bingo is serious business

Cheers, Henry

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