Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when...

By ManInPain - United States

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

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42029

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Miscellaneous

The smell detective is on the case

Goodbye Bill

Banished

By Imagino1234 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my mother sent off a handmade Christmas wreath I made for my 70-year-old grandmother. It wasn't until after it was sent that we realized the box it was packed in was originally for adult diapers. FML

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6798

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1214

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By Anonymous - United States - Ventura

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20148

You deserved it

3132

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By Anonymous - Germany

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23570

You deserved it

2660

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister and her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend came up and said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36284

You deserved it

2707

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By mycariswrecked - United States - Tinley Park

Early meeting

Today, I was going to meet up with my boyfriend's mother to watch his swim meet with her. On my way to the high school, I got in a car accident. The person driving the other car was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2205

You deserved it

183

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By arghh - Australia

Today, I was on a tram and I noticed an older lady having trouble getting down the stairs. I immediately got up to help her, dropping my bag on the seat accidentally. As I went to get back on the tram, the doors closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36676

You deserved it

5550

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By MileHighGirlGuy

Today, I almost got upgraded to business class because the gentleman at the check-in was so mortified at having called me "sir" instead of "mam." However, before it could go through, his colleague stopped him, telling me that it was "an easy mistake to make." FML

I agree, your life sucks

6124

You deserved it

612

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28371

You deserved it

28605

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was in the shower getting ready for a date, when my older sister thought it would be a laugh to turn out the light. Getting out of the shower to turn it back on, I slipped and hit on my head on the counter. Thanks, sis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27426

You deserved it

3091

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By Anonymous - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37783

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By Grrrawrwtf - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29864

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend told me that he was having a scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly, I brought the dictionary and as I walked in everyone was playing beer pong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40335

You deserved it

12955

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By Anonymous - United States - Erie

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

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11522

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By Anonymous

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23709

You deserved it

69641

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By Anonymous - 21/7/2020 23:01

Classic

Today, I caught my sister in bed with my girlfriend. I’m not sure what’s worse, the cheating, the fact I’ve never managed to make my girlfriend moan like that, or the fact this is the second girlfriend she’s stolen from me in the last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2435

You deserved it

297

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By kimboslice106 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks

50062

You deserved it

14105

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By reserved - United States - Paso Robles

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27881

You deserved it

1942

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By GetFuzzy

Coach Class

Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks

438

You deserved it

1902

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By duckwater - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23760

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4098

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By booyouwhoree - United States

Today, I told my friend I hadn't had a period in 5 months. She asked me if I was pregnant. When I asked her if I looked 5 months pregant, she replied by saying "is that supposed to be a trick question?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

50746

You deserved it

18329

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By Michelle - United States

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30586

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3422

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By prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56175

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By kicking me while I'm LITERALLY down

Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4516

You deserved it

270

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By lawdy

Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4365

You deserved it

601

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By Ihatemylife - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50717

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45997

You deserved it

17514

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By anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37207

You deserved it

7178

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By I hate my brother - United States - Lafayette

Today, I just came back from Afghanistan after a 9-month tour, and my brother asked, "How many towelheads did you kill?" He then acted offended when I smacked him upside the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24814

You deserved it

1984

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By anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I've become so accustomed to finding my sister drunk or otherwise passed out in the same spot in the living room that every time I go in there, I instinctively lift my feet higher as though to step over her, even when she's not there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22382

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1674

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By Anonymous - United States

Size Queen

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks

69931

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12891

You deserved it

105989

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By Rawf - United States

Today, at work, a customer called in and asked me to read off every item on our menu, along with their ingredients. I work at Jamba Juice so that's a lot of reading. After about 10 minutes of this, I found out it was actually my stupid co-worker calling from the back phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43079

You deserved it

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By dear god why - United States - Seattle

Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML

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43334

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By KamiyaHaine - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48295

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4252

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By Anonymous - Australia - Chatswood

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

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31938

You deserved it

6222

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30073

You deserved it

3888

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By Anonymous - United States - Brighton

Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26125

You deserved it

2226

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By why mom, why? - United States - Ross

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48520

You deserved it

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By madd_dizzle - United States

Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10707

You deserved it

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By GabsAlot829 - United States

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

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64504

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Top comments

By orangejuice12 | 0

#2877000 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

well punch that fucker back:p

By Sparkiee93 | 3

#2877058 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:19

You should have kicked him in the balls then told him "HAPPY STOP A RANDOM DOUCHE FROM BREEDING DAY!"

COMMENTS

By nigrice | 0

#2876989 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

well don't be so ugly...

jdawgg92 | 1

#2877009 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:16

punch him back!

OrderXsoL | 0

#2877037 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:18

smack the bitch! smack the bitch!

carlieee1 | 8

#2877086 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:21

1- don't be such an ass

fthislyfe | 22

#2877177 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:31

omg im so sorry for u...that was funny though, lol

Trololololololo_fml | 7

#2877321 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:50

Punch him back. Unless it's a woman, then that would be rude.

Thunderbender | 2

#2877502 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 23:21

I'm hoping you left out the part where you turned around and beat the shit out of him.... or at least called the cops on him.

GuessWhatKids | 13

#2879098 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 3:12

@59 "When I asked HIM why HE punched me"
Is it that hard to read the FML?

By athena3100 | 9

#2876993 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

lol im sorry.

NomOnShroomz | 14

#2877108 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:23

Are you saying you did this?

doing_it_ritee | 5

#2877143 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:28

hahahha. that's too funny..
but fyl op!

chaps93 | 6

#2877157 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:29

At least he was honest..

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#2877189 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:32

This is a perfect opportunity to grow some balls and get that motherfucker right back!!

imosim | 0

#2877224 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:36

guess it wasn't a random decision :P

purplepizza21 | 0

#2877275 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:41

well, are you?

tatababe | 1

#2877293 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:46

LoL you did that!!!

Derpino | 0

#2877343 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:53

At least he didn't lie to you.

garrettsgirl | 0

#2877364 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:56

2 I love your picture!

UnderstoodCat | 0

#2877542 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 23:29

How is your first reaction to ask why he chose you? I would have said: "Oh, yeah...." then I would punch him back.

MeBeYourFriend | 0

#2877588 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 23:35

HOLY shit i got to go punch a random person!! time is Running out!

theaws0m3guy | 4

#2878611 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 1:46

He's spitting the truth.

chahat | 0

#2878727 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 2:02

aha yeeehh buddeeeh!

trinityariel | 0

#2878902 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 2:39

r u saying u punched him

coffeygirl12 | 14

#2879783 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 5:10

so did u punch him back or did u just stand there with a stupid look on ur face???? (:

ilovemyjb13 | 1

#2880093 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 5:59

lol really i didnt know that!!! *punchs person in the face*

ryno101 | 3

#2880124 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 6:03

man up and fight back you big gay mans blouse?

CitrusGirl | 0

#2880188 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 6:13

That's when you say, " HAHA! It's report a random person for assult day!"

chongers18 | 0

#2882247 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 14:05

what if when you turned around it was a midget dressed as a leprechaun and instead of him saying you were ugly he said ," that's what cha get for stealin me gold."

By nwill98 | 3

#2876998 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

some people these days

Aim4thebullseye | 4

#2877052 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:19

punch him back and then tell him "that's not what your mother said last night"

bryyxoo | 0

#2877285 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:44

I bet it was a Facebook event

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#2878803 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 2:16

Yeah. I bet the guy who punched OP is gonna show up on his "People you may know" list the next day.

XanderScythe | 11

#4225167 - Wednesday 28 March 2012 2:31

OP, punch him and say, "HAHA! it is own a faggot day!"

JesseAttack | 21

#5659336 - Thursday 5 September 2013 2:38

Eventually we'll get robbed, ask why, and the guy'll say, "it's a rob a dude day". Yup, people these days.

By orangejuice12 | 0

#2877000 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

well punch that fucker back:p

CommonSenseKarma | 17

#2879009 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 2:56

That should have been the response as soon as the guy said "HAHA! It's punch a— OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU BROKE MY NOSE"

Dragon_Beast | 4

#2879179 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 3:26

I wouldn't even give him time to talk I would just tackle him and punch him in the face.

anothersuicide | 0

#2880067 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 5:54

well he can't punch him back now, he knows who he is..

swasticop | 0

#2880167 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 6:10

118- Thats mature

jannie22 | 0

#2880178 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 6:12

I'm 69 I'm so proud

CommonSenseKarma | 17

#2880511 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 7:12

135-That's mature.

As if I care.

enopola | 5

#2883012 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:39

or, shit I broke both a loser's legs day

By dirtbiker3325_fml | 0

#2877002 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

life blows. and you got hit by a nice blow

PrickHead | 0

#2878966 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 2:50

why dont you just go find something to blow on...?

EatnBeef | 7

#2879943 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 5:36

"my friend, you've just been kicked in the nuts" Peter: NO WAY!! " yeah your Gunna be on tv". we need more random shit days like this

By ladybunny | 0

#2877004 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

"I know you are, but what am I?"
Ohh good ol days.

HannahForbesxo | 13

#2877209 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:34

"Takes one to know one". Those comebacks were unbeatable.

By sickjairo | 7

#2877006 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

Punch him back!

chocomilk82 | 0

#2881528 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:00

Yeah!

By yourshootingstar | 4

#2877011 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:16

don't take that shit punch back

commietaco | 0

#2877201 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:33

or...a swift kick to the nuts! assuming the aggressor was a guy.

HannahForbesxo | 13

#2877219 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:36

Sucks to be your english teacher.

commietaco | 0

#2877240 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:38

what's your problem?

HannahForbesxo | 13

#2877250 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:39

Shit, ignore that. Posted on the wrong comment.

commietaco | 0

#2877268 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:41

lol, it's all good. I was getting upset because I couldn't find my mistake.

HannahForbesxo | 13

#2877490 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 23:20

It's the second time that's happened to me today! I really do need to be more careful.

revenge93_fml | 0

#2879974 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 5:41

how many ppl have this pic of a girl that u have up now??? I've seen it like twenty times how many of them are of u?? I'm confused ....

yourshootingstar | 4

#2880304 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 6:37

who are you referring to?

Codezlol | 21

#2880622 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 7:34

K Town for the win!!

Kevinlokz | 3

#2881281 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 10:10

cutee or wat ;)

Reed_111 | 5

#2881352 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 10:33

I know I would punch them back!

By NomOnShroomz | 14

#2877019 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:17

Are you a fifty year old Asian lady? Those are fun to punch...

By alexiiiiis09 | 0

#2877024 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:17

aw that's mean hahah. I got punched once walkin down a hallway and they were like "oops sorry wrong person" lmao