Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when...

By ManInPain - United States

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42043

You deserved it

4895

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Miscellaneous

Hiding from the drama

Social distancing

Is that a pass then?

By bitches. - United States

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65341

You deserved it

3427

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By DetergentFrog6 - United States - Rahway

Today, while playing basketball, my friend thanked me for passing the ball to him. I was too embarrassed to tell him that that was me shooting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37796

You deserved it

5030

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35313

You deserved it

5194

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By Joboi23

Today, I matched with a woman on Tinder with whom I'd already talked on another dating app. The conversation had died out pretty quickly, so I was surprised she gave me a second chance. Her first message was to tell me how boring I was on the other app. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3991

You deserved it

741

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By thatonekid - United States

Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70344

You deserved it

3528

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By never_ending_hangover - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss's sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32015

You deserved it

4799

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By Revelyn - United States - Compton

Today, I went to get my first acupuncture. The doctor was a cute Korean woman, so I tried to start a conversation. When she pricked me with a needle near the tailbone, I involuntarily let one loose and saw her gag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13065

You deserved it

1973

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By etahrabayraa

Instadrama

Today, I was stalking a popular girl from my high school's account and my phone went bonkers. It looks like I liked and disliked the same video of hers over and over. I disabled my Instagram account. FML

I agree, your life sucks

619

You deserved it

1427

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By Anonymous - Sweden - V?ster

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32502

You deserved it

7180

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By doubletrouble - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally found a roommate after hopelessly looking for months. I was really anxious to meet the guy because I would most likely be spending a good amount of time with him. Who did my boyfriend end up picking as his new roommate? My ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46180

You deserved it

4674

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By sadcartoons - Canada

Today, my son and I attended my mother's funeral. It was the first time he'd been to such an event, so to ease his grief and distract him, I turned on Max and Ruby when we got home. He quickly broke into tears; apparently, it was the episode where Max and Ruby prepare their grandma a special birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37042

You deserved it

5031

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By fufu_mutt - United States

Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30692

You deserved it

10124

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By jay-frey96 - United States - San Diego

Directions

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45505

You deserved it

13901

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32931

You deserved it

3858

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By lifedamntough - Singapore

Today, I took a shower after I finished typing an important essay I've been working on for days. My computer illiterate mum shut the computer down when I was gone, without saving a thing. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for "wasting electricity". FML

I agree, your life sucks

31136

You deserved it

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By blargerpanda - 29/4/2021 20:01 - United States

Dick move

Today, I heard my 7 year-old step-daughter tell her father over Zoom she cries every night, because she wants to go home with him. I don't have the heart to tell her that he had kicked her and her mom out of the house because he thought mom's stretch marks were unattractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1107

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Canada - Westerose

Today, our family cat died. I had to explain this to my 2 small children, who had no experience with death. I ended up bawling like a baby while they consoled me, telling me she had, "gone to a better place". FML

I agree, your life sucks

7004

You deserved it

1156

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By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Take care

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1300

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Canada - Orleans

Today, wanting to be on time for my first job interview, I woke up at the crack of dawn and walked almost an hour through a thunderstorm. When I arrived, I was told that the manager wasn't in today, because of the bad weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26844

You deserved it

1992

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By HardTimes

Today, I came home from three months off the continent. My parents drove me home, and when we drove past our house, I assumed we were going for a welcome home supper. Instead, we drove to a dilapidated trailer and my parents said, "Welcome home." We used to live in a large, beautiful two-story house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2081

You deserved it

172

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By bastardddd - United States

Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48355

You deserved it

6362

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By Anonymous - United States - Missoula

Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12019

You deserved it

1851

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By Anonymous - United States - Decatur

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63565

You deserved it

15863

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By unlucky - 27/9/2020 10:49

Heavy sleeper

Today, I had a migraine. I decided to wear earplugs to block out sound while I slept. I don't usually wear them because they hurt my ears like nobody's business. The one day I wear earplugs, I get robbed. In the middle of the day. Through my own bedroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1316

You deserved it

117

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By LowOnGas

Today, I drove my toddler to a schoolmate’s birthday party at a chuck-e-Cheese an hour drive away, only to find out the party is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1585

You deserved it

1019

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was hosting a pool party, when my husband and his friends got the bright idea of lighting one of the party balloons on fire. Needless to say, it immediately exploded. In shock, he jumped back straight into me, sending me and my $400 cell phone splashing into the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30386

You deserved it

6634

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I have a nervous tendency to rub my foot against the bar under the table. After the interview I noticed I had been rubbing my foot against the interviewer's leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24435

You deserved it

39249

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By dawn - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9971

You deserved it

21757

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By GeeThanks - Canada - Toronto

Today, while making a grand show of his generosity, my boss gave me my own commissions as a wedding gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3155

You deserved it

268

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By Judiee - United States

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

I agree, your life sucks

56563

You deserved it

5734

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By anonymouss - United States

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27036

You deserved it

45207

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By AccidentalFlasher - Canada - Thornhill

Today, I was chilling in my comfy zip-up sweatshirt when I realized I was running late for an acting class. In my mad panic, I forgot I didn't have a shirt or bra underneath. Later in class, I was performing a scene and started to unzip my sweatshirt. You can figure out the rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21399

You deserved it

5563

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By Toothy_Peg - Australia

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

89075

You deserved it

4314

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By Sonotsuave - United States - Arlington

Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2209

You deserved it

206

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By LostInSunday

Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11210

You deserved it

2767

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25998

You deserved it

69485

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By Wow - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53833

You deserved it

3285

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By bossgroper - United States

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51833

You deserved it

5476

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By Liz - United States - Torrance

Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24199

You deserved it

3572

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By itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41270

You deserved it

4796

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Top comments

By orangejuice12 | 0

#2877000 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

well punch that fucker back:p

By Sparkiee93 | 3

#2877058 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:19

You should have kicked him in the balls then told him "HAPPY STOP A RANDOM DOUCHE FROM BREEDING DAY!"

COMMENTS

By nigrice | 0

#2876989 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

well don't be so ugly...

jdawgg92 | 1

#2877009 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:16

punch him back!

OrderXsoL | 0

#2877037 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:18

smack the bitch! smack the bitch!

carlieee1 | 8

#2877086 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:21

1- don't be such an ass

fthislyfe | 22

#2877177 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:31

omg im so sorry for u...that was funny though, lol

Trololololololo_fml | 7

#2877321 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:50

Punch him back. Unless it's a woman, then that would be rude.

Thunderbender | 2

#2877502 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 23:21

I'm hoping you left out the part where you turned around and beat the shit out of him.... or at least called the cops on him.

GuessWhatKids | 13

#2879098 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 3:12

@59 "When I asked HIM why HE punched me"
Is it that hard to read the FML?

By athena3100 | 9

#2876993 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

lol im sorry.

NomOnShroomz | 14

#2877108 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:23

Are you saying you did this?

doing_it_ritee | 5

#2877143 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:28

hahahha. that's too funny..
but fyl op!

chaps93 | 6

#2877157 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:29

At least he was honest..

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#2877189 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:32

This is a perfect opportunity to grow some balls and get that motherfucker right back!!

imosim | 0

#2877224 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:36

guess it wasn't a random decision :P

purplepizza21 | 0

#2877275 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:41

well, are you?

tatababe | 1

#2877293 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:46

LoL you did that!!!

Derpino | 0

#2877343 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:53

At least he didn't lie to you.

garrettsgirl | 0

#2877364 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:56

2 I love your picture!

UnderstoodCat | 0

#2877542 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 23:29

How is your first reaction to ask why he chose you? I would have said: "Oh, yeah...." then I would punch him back.

MeBeYourFriend | 0

#2877588 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 23:35

HOLY shit i got to go punch a random person!! time is Running out!

theaws0m3guy | 4

#2878611 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 1:46

He's spitting the truth.

chahat | 0

#2878727 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 2:02

aha yeeehh buddeeeh!

trinityariel | 0

#2878902 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 2:39

r u saying u punched him

coffeygirl12 | 14

#2879783 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 5:10

so did u punch him back or did u just stand there with a stupid look on ur face???? (:

ilovemyjb13 | 1

#2880093 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 5:59

lol really i didnt know that!!! *punchs person in the face*

ryno101 | 3

#2880124 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 6:03

man up and fight back you big gay mans blouse?

CitrusGirl | 0

#2880188 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 6:13

That's when you say, " HAHA! It's report a random person for assult day!"

chongers18 | 0

#2882247 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 14:05

what if when you turned around it was a midget dressed as a leprechaun and instead of him saying you were ugly he said ," that's what cha get for stealin me gold."

By nwill98 | 3

#2876998 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

some people these days

Aim4thebullseye | 4

#2877052 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:19

punch him back and then tell him "that's not what your mother said last night"

bryyxoo | 0

#2877285 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:44

I bet it was a Facebook event

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#2878803 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 2:16

Yeah. I bet the guy who punched OP is gonna show up on his "People you may know" list the next day.

XanderScythe | 11

#4225167 - Wednesday 28 March 2012 2:31

OP, punch him and say, "HAHA! it is own a faggot day!"

JesseAttack | 21

#5659336 - Thursday 5 September 2013 2:38

Eventually we'll get robbed, ask why, and the guy'll say, "it's a rob a dude day". Yup, people these days.

By orangejuice12 | 0

#2877000 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

well punch that fucker back:p

CommonSenseKarma | 17

#2879009 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 2:56

That should have been the response as soon as the guy said "HAHA! It's punch a— OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU BROKE MY NOSE"

Dragon_Beast | 4

#2879179 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 3:26

I wouldn't even give him time to talk I would just tackle him and punch him in the face.

anothersuicide | 0

#2880067 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 5:54

well he can't punch him back now, he knows who he is..

swasticop | 0

#2880167 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 6:10

118- Thats mature

jannie22 | 0

#2880178 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 6:12

I'm 69 I'm so proud

CommonSenseKarma | 17

#2880511 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 7:12

135-That's mature.

As if I care.

enopola | 5

#2883012 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:39

or, shit I broke both a loser's legs day

By dirtbiker3325_fml | 0

#2877002 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

life blows. and you got hit by a nice blow

PrickHead | 0

#2878966 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 2:50

why dont you just go find something to blow on...?

EatnBeef | 7

#2879943 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 5:36

"my friend, you've just been kicked in the nuts" Peter: NO WAY!! " yeah your Gunna be on tv". we need more random shit days like this

By ladybunny | 0

#2877004 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

"I know you are, but what am I?"
Ohh good ol days.

HannahForbesxo | 13

#2877209 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:34

"Takes one to know one". Those comebacks were unbeatable.

By sickjairo | 7

#2877006 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:15

Punch him back!

chocomilk82 | 0

#2881528 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:00

Yeah!

By yourshootingstar | 4

#2877011 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:16

don't take that shit punch back

commietaco | 0

#2877201 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:33

or...a swift kick to the nuts! assuming the aggressor was a guy.

HannahForbesxo | 13

#2877219 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:36

Sucks to be your english teacher.

commietaco | 0

#2877240 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:38

what's your problem?

HannahForbesxo | 13

#2877250 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:39

Shit, ignore that. Posted on the wrong comment.

commietaco | 0

#2877268 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:41

lol, it's all good. I was getting upset because I couldn't find my mistake.

HannahForbesxo | 13

#2877490 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 23:20

It's the second time that's happened to me today! I really do need to be more careful.

revenge93_fml | 0

#2879974 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 5:41

how many ppl have this pic of a girl that u have up now??? I've seen it like twenty times how many of them are of u?? I'm confused ....

yourshootingstar | 4

#2880304 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 6:37

who are you referring to?

Codezlol | 21

#2880622 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 7:34

K Town for the win!!

Kevinlokz | 3

#2881281 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 10:10

cutee or wat ;)

Reed_111 | 5

#2881352 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 10:33

I know I would punch them back!

By NomOnShroomz | 14

#2877019 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:17

Are you a fifty year old Asian lady? Those are fun to punch...

By alexiiiiis09 | 0

#2877024 - Tuesday 12 July 2011 22:17

aw that's mean hahah. I got punched once walkin down a hallway and they were like "oops sorry wrong person" lmao