Hey OP here. I hadn't been up all that long and our dog started barking at something so I went to check it out. I open the door and there she is cutting all of my calla lily stems! I was incredibly baffled that she would just walk up onto the porch and do that. What I said to her was "Uhm.. Those are my flowers.." (such mean and rude fighting words!) She then took off like a bat out of hell while knocking off the plant pot onto the concrete below. (I think knocking it over was purely accidental but it still doesn't excuse what she was doing.) I got dressed and went next door to ask what the heck that was all about and she "informed" me that I must have mistaken her for someone else. After a few minutes of arguing I gave up and came back to clean up the mess. I figured I would just not worry about it, certainly nothing worth involving the law. On the plus side, about noon there was a knock on my door and a slightly larger, new plant pot was sitting on my porch with no one around. (I wonder who left it.. Hmmmm...) The actual act of picking the flowers doesn't bug me too terribly seeing as my niece picks the flowers almost every time one blooms. It is the lack of honesty that caused the issue for me.

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Hey OP here. I hadn't been up all that long and our dog started barking at something so I went to check it out. I open the door and there she is cutting all of my calla lily stems! I was incredibly baffled that she would just walk up onto the porch and do that. What I said to her was "Uhm.. Those are my flowers.." (such mean and rude fighting words!) She then took off like a bat out of hell while knocking off the plant pot onto the concrete below. (I think knocking it over was purely accidental but it still doesn't excuse what she was doing.) I got dressed and went next door to ask what the heck that was all about and she "informed" me that I must have mistaken her for someone else. After a few minutes of arguing I gave up and came back to clean up the mess. I figured I would just not worry about it, certainly nothing worth involving the law. On the plus side, about noon there was a knock on my door and a slightly larger, new plant pot was sitting on my porch with no one around. (I wonder who left it.. Hmmmm...) The actual act of picking the flowers doesn't bug me too terribly seeing as my niece picks the flowers almost every time one blooms. It is the lack of honesty that caused the issue for me.

Confront her about it and ask her to buy you a new one. If she declines, kill her

Comments

Smash one of her windows and put some dirt and flowers in it. Then when she asks be like I guess the flowers did it again...

yeah, because destruction of property is always the answer.

There's definitely better ways to handle the situation... However... Personally... I would squirt super glue in her locks and splash paint remover on her porch and exterior walls! Assuming she has a porch. But remember! There are better ways to handle it.

If she has pots of flowers, do the same thing to her. If not, just file a police report, they will take care of it

Go to her house and steal a lamp or something.

Yeah! You could put fiberglass on her towels and rub poison ivy in every pair of shoes she owns! Or you could do the logical thing and just pass on those ideas.

Everyone has that one neighbor

She's no Mr. Rogers!

Yes indeed. In my old neighbourhood, they used to steal my potted plants if they weren't planted in the ground yet. I'd bring a few home from the nursery and the next day *poof*!

It's true, we all do. My old neighbours had teenage sons who got high and tried to steal the door handle on the front door. Embarrassed as the neighbours were, it was still pretty amusing.

Really? that seems perfectly normal to me.

She is probably embarrassed about it...but you should still ask her to pay for the damages she caused

Confront her about it and ask her to buy you a new one. If she declines, kill her

Well that escalated quickly...

And remember to NOT use the bathtub to dissolve the body with acid. Use the plastic bins from the hardware store!

Yeah, that bathtub has gotten me caught on more than a few occasions. Trust me OP bins are the way to go!

My aunt is a chemistry teacher that shows her students how fast a pig can dissolve in acid. I will probably just slip a person in that way if I so choose lol.

You aren't supposed to tell us how you will kill her! now we are accomplices... :P

LOVE IT. A nice realistic rubber snake in the pot might work. A really funny one (don't know if the blooms are heavy enough to keep it from being noticeable) is to attach a small fake snake via a thread to the bloom. Pick a bloom, and a snake charges out....

I would throw a flower pot at her! Oh wait, she broke it...

That's just awkward on so many levels

How is it awkward?

Seems odd, go pick flowers somewhere else.

Reread the FML. It clearly stated the OP's flowers were being picked by her neighbor.

you should have smashed something on her head.